Trunks

pix 014, originally uploaded by gradualdazzle.

We have an especially lovely fuschia-colored crape myrtle in our front yard. One of my favorite things about crape myrtles, though, has nothing at all to do with their summertime blooms. I love their multiple trunks and their satiny skin, which is most evident during the leafless winter months.

What are nine-year-old boys SUPPOSED to be pondering, anyway?

A brief conversation I just had with my son:

Isaac: Why do they even consider zero a number, since it can't be split?

Me: Well, you have to have some way to denote the lack of value.

Isaac: That makes sense.


This came immediately on the heels of a discussion about Spongebob Squarepants.

My buddy-boy

My buddy-boy, originally uploaded by gradualdazzle.

This is one of the first pictures I took with THE CAMERA.

Saturday bidness

I am under the gun to finish the yearbook cover design PRONTO... so I have to spend this afternoon at school working on it. I missed two days this week because of the bad weather, which threw off my whole schedule.

And to add to my angst, the camera ... THE CAMERA ... the REAL NIKON D80 WITH THE NIKKOR 18-200MM LENS... finally arrived at school this week. I had gotten approval to purchase a DSLR camera back in October, but there were issues with the purchase order and the place to order it from, yaddayadda, and we didn't get to place the order until last week.

Which means, this delicious, fantastic beast of a CAMERA is sitting there and there's SUNSHINE outside and I should be taking pictures with it. I've spent as much time as I could allow myself just dinking around with it, learning to use it. But the temptation is terrible! And I absolutely MUST finish that cover TODAY.

The agony!

On the headache front, I am still dealing with it. It really has to be hormonal; I can't imagine why it wouldn't go away when I take medicine for it otherwise.

What a day it is outside! GAH!

Ow

The noggin hurts today. I've taken some palliative measures which have proven unfruitful. I'm guessing it's hormonal in nature; I will get some sleep and see if it passes.

Today's fortune cookie

Mmmmhmhmhmhmhmffmhhmfmm... Curry chicken...

Although I'd actually prefer curry BEEF. Particularly, the Thai Coconut Curry Beef from Pei-Wei.

I love that stuff. I'd marry it and have its babies if I could. It's THAT good.

Kitteh

Kitteh, originally uploaded by gradualdazzle.

My handsome kitty-boy, Dude, relaxing on his shelf.

Ain't they purty?

Talisman Roses, originally uploaded by gradualdazzle.

I really really really really really like these roses. Each one of them is like the flame of a candle.

They smell delightful.

Unlike the skunk which just wandered underneath our house AGAIN. I know, he's just looking for a warm place to sleep. I just wish it weren't underneath my bedroom floor.

In truth, the odor of a skunk -- when at a distance -- does not bother me greatly. It is only when it is near enough to make my eyes water... that's when I mind.

Look for the beautiful, though... I'm looking for the beautiful all around me, and these roses sure do fit the bill nicely. Don't you think?

Directions For Singing

Excerpted from John Wesley's Select Hymns, 1761 (as seen in The United Methodist Hymnal)

I. Learn these tunes before you learn any others; afterwards learn as many as you please.

II. Sing them exactly as they are printed here, without altering or mending them at all; and if you have learned to sing them otherwise, unlearn it as soon as you can.

III. Sing all. See that you join with the congregation as frequently as you can. Let not a slight degree of weakness or weariness hinder you. If it is a cross to you, take it up, and you will find it a blessing.

IV. Sing lustily and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength. Be no more afraid of your voice now, nor more ashamed of its being heard, than when you sung the songs of Satan.

V. Sing modestly. Do not bawl, so as to be heard above or distinct from the rest of the congregation, that you may not destroy the harmony; but strive to unite your voices together, so as to make one clear melodious sound.

VI. Sing in time. Whatever time is sung be sure to keep with it. Do not run before nor stay behind it; but attend close to the leading voices, and move therewith as exactly as you can; and take care not to sing too slow. This drawling way naturally steals on all who are lazy; and it is high time to drive it out from us, and sing all our tunes just as quick as we did at first.

VII. Above all sing spiritually. Have an eye to God in every word you sing. Aim at pleasing him more than yourself, or any other creature. In order to do this attend strictly to the sense of what you sing, and see that your heart is not carried away with the sound, but offered to God continually; so shall your singing be such as the Lord will approve here, and reward you when he cometh in the clouds of heaven.

What a wonderful heritage the Methodists have!

He continues to work his way back into my good graces

He went to the grocery store this morning... took Martha and Isaac with him... and brought home a dozen of my very favorite Talisman Roses.

I'm beginning to thaw a little, I think.

새해 복 많이 보내세요

Saehae bok manhi bonaeseyo!
(Sending you many New Year's blessings)

I've done Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese... it seems silly that I should exclude Korea, especially since one of my very own children was born in Seoul.

Ice Day II: The Sequel

Day Two of being cooped-up in the house all day because we can't even venture out the door. Thank God for satellite TV and the internet... heck, thank God for ELECTRICITY. We haven't lost power at all in this mess. That is a major blessing. One major ice/snow storm in Iowa that I remember happened in October when there were still leaves on all the trees, and it downed power lines everywhere for days and days. Yecch.
Still, there is exquisite beauty to be seen in this phenomenon:


I am grateful for the sun, because it means that eventually this afternoon all this will melt away and we'll be able to move around again... and especially because it causes every tree branch and blade of grass to appear in brilliant, blingy relief against the cyan sky.

Always look on the bright side of life [whistle]

Python tune top 'alternative' funeral song

A British survey has named the Monty Python tune Always Look on the Bright Side of Life as the country's top alternative funeral song.

The survey of 764 people, commissioned by the Children's Society, found the song from Monty Python's Life of Brian was the top choice among respondents, with one fifth of those polled saying they would like the ditty played at their funerals, The Daily Telegraph reported Tuesday.

Personally, I want the theme song to "Red Dwarf" played at MY memorial service:

It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.


I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

And when my shell gets cremated, I want it to be divided in two equal parts. The first part is to be transported to Fiji and scattered on a beach there somewhere by my best friend, who will be required to then spend an inordinate amount of time vacationing there.

The other part of my ashes is to be used during the next ice storm to "grit the path." Any true Red Dwarf fan will know exactly what that means.

(新年)あけましておめでとうございます

(Shinnen) Akemashite O-Medetō-Gozaimasu

or

Happiness to you on the dawn [of a New Year]

This is a New Year's greeting in Japanese. I'm currently in the process of learning some basic Japanese phrases using some audio CDs that my AuntyOh sent me for my birthday back in November. I love learning new languages and learning about other cultures. If I could be a professional student and just learn languages, I'd be quite happy. And if they let me draw and paint sometimes. And play the piano.

Today's fortune cookie

NEXT YEAR?!? I gotta wait a whole 'nother year before I get to move to Tahiti?

Dangit. I was counting on it happening THIS year.

It's nice to have friends...

...nutty friends who send you skwerl books:




The illustrations in this book are high-larious!! "Old Man Fookwire was so old that when he sneezed, dust came out." Heh!!



And did you know that skwerls were good at math?



One of my favorite pages in the entire book depicts the skwerls staying up all night, drinking cherry coke and eating salt & vinegar potato chips and devising a plan to get to the bird feeders:


GUFFAW!! Thank you, Shel! [snickersnicker]

Ice Day!

Can't call it a "snow day." But it's much more dangerous than snow, and it's coating everything. Which means we stay home from school. I doubt we'll be doing any laundry, though... you see, this goofy old house has a few quirks. One of the more annoying ones, at least in the wintertime, is that the P-trap for the washing machine (which is on the second floor) is OUTSIDE THE WALL. As in, OUTSIDE. As in, FREEZES SOLID WHENEVER THE AIR TEMPERATURE HITS 32 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT. As in, makes a giant waterfall in the kitchen below when you run the washing machine if it's below freezing outside.

Why, yes, I am speaking from experience, why do you ask?

Do you have ANY idea how much water comes out of a load of laundry when the washer is draining?

A lot.

Any-hoo, here in BallyHoo we'll all be socked-in at home, parking our toes in front of the gas stove. We still have electricity right now, PTL. Of course, everyone's used to getting up at this hour, so the house is up and running. But I will definitely be taking a leisurely morning nap in a little while. Oh, yes, I will.

Chúc Mừng Năm Mới

That's Happy New Year in Vietnamese. I have several Vietnamese students, all adopted members of one family (who I adore and feel intense kinship with), and today they brought me a party tray of Vietnamese candies to celebrate the New Year. I did not expect this, but am deeply grateful for their friendship and their presence in my classroom and in my life.

One of the children in the family is Isaac's age and the two of them are very close friends -- being Pokemon and Bakugan addicts -- and today he brought Isaac a little red envelope with a dollar in it (a gift of good luck).

Happy New Year, y'all!

Today's fortune cookie

That's all I need, something ELSE to complicate my life. Actually, this could be somewhat accurate; I just recently found out that the minister of the church where I was just hired has been transferred to another church in another city, effective March 1. It's the way this denomination does things; every few years they move everyone around.

Which then means that I'll get to take my chances with someone new in the near future.

Meh.

新年快樂

Happy New Year!

CHENGDU, Jan. 25 (Xinhua) -- With red lanterns hanging from the eaves, the bangs of firecrackers outside, and tables of delicious food, Chinese people, including millions of quake survivors, observed the Lunar New Year eve in the traditional way.

Me, I'm planning a kanji symbol project for Art class to celebrate New Year. How 'bout y'all?

Dude, you're probably CALLING the things, not driving them AWAY

Bagpipes fail to deter bats

An Australian orchard grower said fruit bats are decimating his crop and not even the drone of his bagpipes can scare them away.

Bob Johnson and his wife, Sue, said the Queensland state government passed environmentalist-backed legislation last year to stop orchard growers from shooting bats, leaving them with few options to protect their crop, the Brisbane Courier-Mail reported Friday.

Johnson said he tried playing his bagpipes to scare away the bats but they were unmoved by his Scottish musical stylings.

I'm guessing a troupe of piccolists probably wouldn't be successful, either. Perhaps some Fall Out Boy might successfully rid the man's orchard of fruit bats.

He begins the long, long road back to my good graces

Last night, to begin the attempt to make it up to me, Rick went out and bought an electric blanket for my side of the bed.

It's a small start.

We stopped at the Mexican grocery store after lunch and I picked up a sackful of Bimbuñuelos. For ME.

He said yesterday, "Honest, I just noticed that they were broken and I started nibbling on the crumbs, and one thing led to another!"

Dude can't tell a lie to save his life. Never has been able to. I'm pretty sure there's no DNA coding for deceit in his cellular structure. It's an unfortunate mutation, to be sure; a well-placed prevarication can really help maintain social order and spare many from unnecessary honesty. It's why I now no longer ask him questions like, "Does this make my butt look big?" because he can't NOT tell the truth.

Caturday

You're about to see my mugshot on CNN tonight

Rick made a trip in to the grocery store this afternoon and I gave him instructions to stop by the Mrs. Baird's Bread Store for some more Bimbuñuelos. I was really looking forward to enjoying a nice crispy wheel when he got home.

He just got home. He said they only had one package, and he ate it on the way home.

And he wasn't kidding.

He is dead to me. Dead, I tell you.

Maybe my new favorite TV show

I still love-love-love The Closer, and I'm really looking forward to the season premiere THIS MONDAY AT 8PM CENTRAL... but I will admit to a new drama crush (having already confessed my comedy crush a while back)...


Fringe.

I've been catching up on episodes over at Hulu and I think I've found the program which will fill the empty niche in my soul that The X-Files used to occupy.

I.
Love.
This.
Show.

Hair Is Not A Moral Issue

Pink locks get Michigan girl locked out of school

When the kids and I moved back to Texas in the summer of 2006 and I took a teaching position in a rural north Texas school district, I remember being completely dumbfounded to discover that the school actually required boys to CUT THEIR HAIR. Hunh?

Not only did they have to maintain their hair in a prescribed manner, the school restricted all students from using any artificial hair coloring that wasn't a "natural" color. Boys also could not wear braids or cornrows.

No male student could have a piercing of any kind. Girls could only have two piercings on each ear, no more.

WTF?

I had just taught in an urban school district where we were just glad the students showed up to school every day. Hair and piercings weren't high on our list of stuff to get worried about. Certain types of clothing, yes -- particularly those which were overly revealing or which declared allegiances to gangs -- but hair? And an earring? Puh-leeze.

When you grow up and get a job, you have to have your hair a certain way according to your boss' preference and your clientele. As a high school kid, though, why can't you have a little fun and experiment with hair color? Who cares if your hair is blue today? What does that do to detract from your educational experience? Sure, the first one who does it will be a distraction, but in a very short time no-one will notice or care.

And how the HECK does it change things for a boy to have long hair? That one is a major mystery to me.

I need to research and see what the dress codes for some of the larger districts around here are. This is the most ridiculous thing I've found about this place (which I love -- don't get me wrong -- this is the best place EVAR) and I hope that someday people can just learn to get over it.

Today's fortune cookie

Today's fortune cookie

Which keyboard key are you?

Heh...

You Are "tab"

Some people might try to say that you're always spaced out. You do tend to be a dreamer, but you're also a great multitasker. You work quickly and efficiently. So it's no problem if you goof off a little while you're working. And if people want to think you're flakey, that's fine. You're getting more done than they are.

What Keyboard Key Are You?

Terizt skwerl forces school evacuation

The headline of the day:

Flaming Squirrel Sparked Wildfire

JONES, Okla. -- A squirrel caught fire, sparking a blaze Wednesday morning that resulted in the evacuation of an elementary school in Jones, Okla., fire officials said.

Suicide skwerls terrorizing our children... how much more of this will we stand for?

Here's one "celebration" I will NOT NOW, nor will I EVER participate in

Skwerl Appreciation Day

According to eHow, January 21 is Squirrel Appreciation Day. Here's how they suggest you celebrate it:

1. Check local television listings for documentaries about squirrels. The National Geographic Channel and Animal Planet are likely to have a special presentation.
2. Look out your window. Squirrels are everywhere. What can you learn about squirrels just by watching them in your own backyard?
3. Read a book about squirrels and their natural habitat.
4. Research squirrels online. You’ll find several sites dedicated just to our furry friends. Did you know, for instance, that there are 365 species of squirrels?
5. Put out extra food for squirrels during the winter. They need foods that are high in protein and low in cellulose. Nuts, seeds and suet are perfect foods.

I, too, appreciate skwerls, particularly when they're stewing in the crockpot. Here are my counter-suggestions for celebrating Skwerl Appreciation Day:

-- Check FoodNetwork listings for programs featuring skwerl recipes. I bet Paula Deen would cook up some terrific fried skwerl.
-- Look out your window and wait until you see a fat skwerl wandering around your yard. Aim carefully and quietly, and squeeze off a round.
-- Check out a book of wild game recipes from your local library. Stick Post-It notes on all the skwerl recipe pages. Did you know that when you Google "squirrel recipes", it returns 1.5 million results?
-- Research the correct skwerl hunting season dates for your state, and acquire the appropriate licensure.
-- Put out extra food for skwerls so they'll be good and fat when you manage to nab one. Make sure it's high in fat and protein so your skwerl-meat won't be tough and stringy.

For supper tonight...

I decided to make Alfredo sauce from scratch tonight. I will never EVER buy it pre-made in a jar again. EVER. That was too good.

I started with Emeril's recipe and tweaked it here and there.

It ain't low-cal, if that's what you were wondering. Oh heck no.

Today's fortune cookie

My newest food crush

Bimbuñuelos!!! They're crispy, lightly sugared and cinnamoned, and completely addicting.

Basically, they're a mass-produced version of a traditional Mexican treat called a buñuelo. This one's done by the Bimbo brand, so they tweaked the name as a nod to this. Most regular buñuelos are shaped like little cinnamon/sugar dough balls, but Bimbuñuelos are wheel-shaped and hollow, making them like crispy fried wonton noodles or something similar.

They do NOT taste mass-produced. They are YUMMY. Yummy, and oh-so-dangerous. I'm going to have to limit myself to one package a week or something. They're just so tasty, I don't think I can swear off them forever. I figure I lived my entire life without ever having tasted them, so I have a lot of time to make up for.

In Gainesville (10 miles north) there is a Mrs. Baird's Bread Store (Mrs. Baird's is a locally-produced brand of bread) which, besides bread, also carries prepackaged pastries like fried pies and other stuff like that. Usually it's stuff that maybe is getting close to its sell-by date and had to be removed from the regular store shelves but is still just fine to eat. Any-hoo, I bought a bunch of stuff at the bread store the other day for next to nothing, and threw in a few packages of Bimbuñuelos on a lark, never having tried them.

Dang. I have been missing out. These durn things are better even than Wavy Lay's potato chips. I wasn't sure anything was THAT good. I just finished the last package of them, and I'm going to see how long I can last before I simply MUST stop back in at the bread store and get more Bimbuñuelos to stoke my addiction once again.

Today's fortune cookie

Some fortune cookie papers have something on both sides, and when this is the case, I'll be sure to show you both.

Mmmm... lionfish... NOM NOM NOM NOM!!

Newcomer to Keys is unwelcome

The lionfish is a native of the Pacific and Indian Oceans, but was introduced to Atlantic waters 16 years ago. Some blame the ballast of sea-going vessels. Others cite selfish aquarium owners, who dump the fish when they outgrow their tanks.

...

The lionfish hardly looks like the menace it is. It grows to a maximum of 20 inches long. Because of its exotic features -- the zebra striping and a feathery mane of fins -- it is a favorite for aquarium keepers.

''Lionfish are the No. 2 aquarium fish in the U.S., behind clownfish,'' said Bruce Purdy, owner of Davie-based Blackbeard's Cruises, which hosts Bahamas diving excursions.

But the beauty is a beast.

The first documented Atlantic sightings came days after Hurricane Andrew in 1992, when six lionfish were spotted in Biscayne Bay and traced to a private aquarium swept away from a Miami waterfront home.

...

If the lionfish multiply, Mitchell of REEF offers one possible remedy: Fishermen could start to catch them for commercial sale.

''They are delicious,'' she said. "Kind of like hogfish, but not quite as mild.''

Hogfish sounds tasty, but I kind-of doubt it tastes enough like pork... but I'd be willing to try either hogfish OR lionfish if the opportunity presented itself. Let's eat!

Are you KIDDING me?

Dad told to pay for child's birth or wed mom

The Michigan Legislature amended the state's paternity act five years ago to waive birthing costs for a father, if he married the child's mother. A year later, Witt gave birth to JaeLyn. The state paid for the hospital costs because Witt was on Medicaid at the time and is now trying to recover the money.

...

Johnson and Witt said they want to marry eventually, but Witt said she wants her marriage date to be her choice.

"I don't think anybody should tell me when to get married," said Witt. "I would like to have a nice wedding, and I can wait for it."

Oh, well, golly gee whiz. We're not going to pay because we don't want to. Brilliant example of what happens when people don't have to suffer consequences of their actions, but instead are perpetually rescued by The State.

I want a new country.

HEY YOU GUUUUUUYYYYYYYS!!!!

PBS is going to start showing an updated Electric Company program!!!

The Sesame Workshop, the company behind PBS’ “Sesame Street,” is bringing back its 1970s staple “The Electric Company.” The series, targeted for children ages 6-9, promotes literacy and aims to interest viewers in the joy of reading.

...

“Our goal with ‘The Electric Company’ is to reach the kids who are struggling, and who might think that reading isn’t cool or isn’t useful,” said Scott Cameron, director of education and research for Sesame Workshop. “We hope to do that by creating compelling and high-quality television, Web and outreach materials.”

COOL! I absolutely ADORED that show... especially Rita Moreno and Morgan Freeman. I was a good reader already, but I was the perfect age when that show was on, and it reinforced everything I had learned from my mom and from school.

I hear tell that DVDs of the original series are available. I'm going to have to invest in THAT. I think Alice would really benefit from watching that show. Martha would, too, but she wouldn't watch it.

Peanut butter problems

Peanut butter products (but not regular jars of peanut butter) are at risk of salmonella contamination, according to this article my cousin Miranda just sent me.

Officials are focusing on peanut paste, as well as peanut butter, produced at a Blakely, Ga., facility owned by Peanut Corp. of America. Its peanut butter is not sold directly to consumers but distributed to institutions and food companies. But the peanut paste, made from roasted peanuts, is an ingredient in cookies, cakes and other products that people buy in the supermarket.

Y'all be careful, k?

R. I. P. Andrew Wyeth

Andrew Wyeth, dead at 91


Wyeth's work, in my opinion, was intensely thoughtful and full of scope for imagination. The stark realism, the low color saturation, and the careful subject placement all combine to bring a certain pervasive mood to every single one of his works.

A truly great American painter. May he rest in peace.

Today's fortune cookie

Is this like the old maxim about bringing a smiling visage to the glass and you'll be greeted with a smile? Somehow I think it is.

I have found that, with few exceptions, I get a much friendlier response from people when I am friendly and cheerful myself.

Today's fortune cookie

Hmmm... find myself? Let's see what WikiHow has on this subject.

Well, looky here -- a WikiHow specifically dedicated to How To Find Yourself!

[easy button] That was easy! [/easy button]

1. Start with a clean slate. Develop your own moral conduct and practice sticking to it. Remove vice from your life. Smoking, over-eating, and over-drinking will prevent you from functioning at your peak.

2. Now that you have a clean slate and you realize some people still think you stink: Forget about what everyone else thinks! You cannot please everyone. While you might not want to disappoint the people close to you, they should want you to be happy. As long as you continue to exist to fulfill other people's ideas of who you should be, you'll never know your true talents. "He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." - Raymond Hull

3. Find solitude. Get away from the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the media, and the pressure. Take some time each day to go for a long walk and think. Plant yourself on a park bench and look. Take a long, thoughtful road trip. Whatever you do, move away from anything that distracts you from contemplating your life and where you want it to go. In solitude, you should feel independent and self-sufficient, not lonely, needy or afraid.

4. Ask yourself every question in the book, questions that are difficult, that dare to look at the big pictures, such as:
* If I had all the resources in the world - if I didn't need to make money - what would I be doing with my day to day life and why? Perhaps you'd be painting, or writing, or farming, or exploring the Amazon rain forest. Don't hold back.
* What do I want to look back on in my life and say that I never regretted? Would you regret never having traveled abroad? Would you regret never having asked that person out, even if it meant risking rejection? Would you regret not spending enough time with your family when you could? This question can be particularly difficult for some people.
* If you had to choose three words to describe the kind of person you'd love to be, what would those words be? Adventurous? Loving? Open? Honest? Hilarious? Optimistic? Realistic? Motivated? Resilient? Don't be afraid to pick up a thesaurus. Don't be afraid to choose words that are considered negative. Sometimes your traits that others don't like become useful only in emergency situations or are valuable to the job you are meant to perform. If you do have a truly negative trait work on redirecting that energy to something positive. Exercising compensates for many bad habits and there are hobbies for almost every vice. Pole dancing is becoming a hobby! Don't wash your clothes much? Try camping.

5. Write down your answers. Beyond your time alone, it's easy for these thoughts to slip to the back of your mind and be forgotten. If you have them written down, then every time you reflect, you can review your notes and take it a step further, instead of answering the same questions all over again.

6. Act upon your newly discovered knowledge. Do the things that you want to do! Pick up those water-colors. Write a short story. Plan a trip to Mombasa, Mt Kenya, a walk at Nairobi Safari Walk. Have dinner with a family member. Start cracking jokes. Open up. Tell the truth. Whatever it is that you've decided you want to be or do, start being and doing it now.

7. Be ready for dead ends. Finding yourself is a journey, not a destination. A lot of it is trial and error. That's the price you pay in return for the satisfaction you receive: More often than not, you hit a bump in the road, and sometimes you fall flat on your face. Be prepared to understand and accept that this is a part of the process, and commit to getting right back up and starting over. It's not going to be easy - it never has been for anybody - but if you learn to see that as a chance to prove how much you want to find yourself, then you'll find fulfillment and security in your pursuit. When you are yourself; everyone will respect you more and treat you kindly. Best of all, you will always feel good about yourself.

And a couple of brief tips:

• Love many, but trust few; always paddle your own canoe.
• You're never as bad or as good as people say.
• Resist the urge to feel like you're the only one going through this:

  All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~ Ralph Ellison, "Invisible Man"

• Be yourself and make sure no one influences who you are. It will make finding yourself even harder since people are influencing who you think you are.

Okey-dokey!

There's also an actual web site called How To Find Yourself Dot Com... although it seems to be a front for some weird artist consortium trying to sell their wares, or maybe a Scientology front group or something like that. Hard to tell.

Fortune Cookies feature is returning

I'm going to start having a daily Fortune Cookie again, like I used to do a year or two ago.




I LOL'd when we got this one at the Chinese buffet in Denton. We were with BlueFish and RedFish and the IttyBittyFishes, and RedFish opened up the cookie that had this one in it.

She showed it to me. I said, "Oh, that's awesome! Finally, someone encouraging me to treat myself once in a while!"

She laughed, and said that she had taken it in a completely different way. "My first thought was -- only three times a week?!?"

Heh. There's a REASON I love that girl so much.

Today's greeting card

I dashed this one off this morning. It's only about 4"x6" or thereabouts, folded to become a blank greeting card. I don't have any plans for it yet.

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!

Rest in peace, Ricardo Montalban.

Count me among his fans. Montalban was not only WAAY hot for an old dude, his rich Mexican voice could cut through me like buttah. I used to be a little bit frightened of Mr. Roarke, even though I loved Fantasy Island very much... he was intimidating and mysterious. As Khan in ST, he was deliciously wild and unfettered. Both personas were extremely attractive. Never mind the imagined aroma of the Rich Corinthian Leather...

Just don't put him between two pillars in the courthouse, k?

Grayson County (TX) death row inmate gouges out other eye, eats it

HUNTSVILLE, TX ― A Grayson County man sentenced to die for killing his wife, her daughter and their son, gouged out his other eye in prison last month.

According to the warden at the state prison in Huntsville, death row inmate Andre Thomas gouged out his left eye in early December and then ate it.

Five days after the murders in March 2004, Thomas gouged out his right eye inside a Grayson County jail cell after reading a Bible verse.

I got nothin'.

My favorite art unit

This week, we started our Painting unit at school... my favorite thing to teach. I always sit down with my students and paint, too, when I can. Today I made a watercolor and gel-pen card for Alice's bus driver, who has shown Alice tremendous love and support this year.

Geopolitical humor

Saw this over at BabaluBlog and nearly had to replace my computer keyboard afterward:

What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the copy, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, drinks tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

Hah! Mas!

Oh, for Pete's sake... really?

Touch-screen gadgets alienate blind

NEW YORK (Reuters) – The craze for touch-screen gadgets, sparked by Apple Inc's popular iPhone, is raising worries that a whole generation of consumer electronics will be out of the reach of the blind.

Motown icon Stevie Wonder and other advocates came to the world's biggest gadget fest, the annual Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas this week, to convince vendors to consider the needs of the blind.

Wonder told a CES event that his wishlist included a car he could drive -- which he acknowledged was probably "a ways away" -- and a Sirius XM satellite radio he could operate.

"If you can take those few steps further, you can give us the excitement, the pleasure and the freedom of being a part of it," said the famed musician.

Oh, and the money quote came almost at the end of the piece:

"I think in general there may be a view that accessibility may be becoming the new green," said [Mike] Starling [chief technology officer of National Public Radio].

Oh, criminy... must everything in this world be offensive to SOME minority group SOMEWHERE? Puh-leeze. So use a Blackberry instead of an iPhone, buddy-boy. Grow up and forget about all the stuff you don't get to participate in. I don't get to enjoy playing basketball, either. Should I pitch a fit because it isn't accessible to homely, freckly middle-aged girls with arthritic knees?

Gameblogging

Why? Because I'm watching the game and surfing at the same time, and because I can't fast-forward through the commercials, so I have to do SOMETHING with my hands to keep from going absolutely bonkers.

================================

7:15PM -- Sooners win the toss! Boomer Sooner!

7:45PM -- Great first down by Gresham!! I would've blogged that interception we just took from Timmeh Tebow, but my internet connection fritzed momentarily. HOLY COW I love Gresham, what a terrific reception!! Oh pooh, there's a flag... growl, holding on Robinson, that's his second in about five minutes. Dude needs to settle down.

Momentary rant: Why does it seem like every stinkin' play-by-play announcer hates the Sooners? Hunh? I'm sick of it, I swear I am.

Direct quote just now:

--The PASSION, the FIRE of TIM TEBOW, who is the unquestioned GREATEST LEADER IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL TODAY. What an unbelievable player, and an even more impressive young man.

--And that play wasn't just a first down run, that's an energy play for Florida because the fans of Florida LOVE to see Number 15 in the open field, and as you described, when he lowered the shoulder and ran over the d-back for an additional couple of yards, THAT'S Florida Gator football, and it brings the crowd into it for them.

--Y'know, in such a cynical, sarcastic society, oftentimes looking for the negative on anybody and anything, if you're fortunate enough to spend five minutes or twenty minutes around Tim Tebow, YOUR life [breathless pause] is better for it.

Can we gush just a little bit more? For one thing, the Heisman this year went to THE OTHER QB in this game... "Greatest Leader In College Football Today" eh? I know Tebow's a great guy, but really?

8:15PM -- Can someone please remind me why I had children? I just missed BOTH TOUCHDOWNS because I had to put the kids to bed. Sheesh. They're old enough to put themselves to bed, aren't they? But NOOOOOO, when Mom wants very badly to watch a stinkin' football game, we have to have ginormous emotional crisis moments.

8:20PM -- "Excessive Celebration?" I know this one went in our favor, but geesh, people, lighten up. Let 'em celebrate.

8:24PM -- INTERCEPTION!!!! That's number two, peeps. My man Gerald McCoy snagged it.

8:27PM -- They should NOT have stopped us twice in a row that close to the goal line. Where is our line?

8:48PM -- Okay, that's TWICE we've gotten inside the five yard line and been stopped. [swear words deleted]

Half Time. Dang, my bladder is screaming.

9:20PM -- The announcers finally said something good about Sam Bradford, as they marveled at his precision even on a long pass. Thought I'd better mark it down, since it may not happen again.

9:43PM -- Grrrrrrrr. Florida TD. I agree, Aunty Susan, this game is stressing ME out, too. Sheesh. I don't smoke, but I think I might need a cigarette or something.

9:49PM -- Blocked punt. We have GOT to get our groove back, and FAST.

10:06PM -- TOUCHDOWN!!! YESSSS!!! That was a terrific drive, with tons of momentum. Yay!! Tie game!! C'mon, defense!!!! Hold 'em hard and intercept that ball quick!!

10:23PM -- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO we did not need to turn over the ball right then! Gah! I am going to gnaw my fingertips clean off.

10:34PM -- TD Gators. Three minutes left in the game. I think I'm going to throw up now. Don't comfort me, I do NOT want to hear it. This is the last time I wear my white Sooners shirt, though, because the only other time I've worn it was when we lost to tee-yew. We lost that game by ten points, too.

It's going in the garbage. I may set fire to it. No, on second thought, I may stuff it like a pillow or something. I certainly won't ever WEAR it again, though. I just can't bring myself to throw away something that has my Sooners on the front of it.

[kicking the floor, hard]

[thinking swear words]

[lots and lots of them]

[but not saying them]

Tonight... we're ready... to RUMBLLLLLLLLLLE!

Let's go, Sooners!!!

Icy Texas

Last Saturday, it got up to eighty degrees. 80!! BlueFish's girls were wearing SHORTS.

Sunday morning, the bottom dropped out. Well, the bottom dropped out for US. Back in Iowa, we would've probably worn shorts if the temps went UP to 32F. But this is Texas, and 32F is fargin COLD.

Combine 32F with rain and you get this:




I was grateful that the skin of ice didn't get thick enough to weight down the trees and cause us to lose power. Others in the area weren't so lucky.

FrankJ has done it yet again

Today he posted his list of "Fun Facts About Hamas." You want to go read it.

A small sampling of the fun and games over at IMAO today:

* Contrary to popular belief, Hamas has nothing to do with ham. Actually, if you throw hams at them, they’ll get angry.

* Many liberals feel a great amount of sympathy for Hamas as they’re a lot alike since they’re both misunderstood, smelly, and wish to indiscriminately kill the Jews.

* If you make a Mexican laugh, and he wants an encore, he’d say, “Ha! Mas!”

I tried a new fruit!

Ever heard of a pomelo?


Pomelos, or pummelos, originated in Asia. They are extraordinarily large citrus fruits and have a very fragrant smell when you pick one up in the store. Martha and I were at the grocery store this evening and she pointed to what appeared to be gargantuan grapefruit. "What the heck is THAT?" she asked.

I actually had never heard of a pummelo before. Apparently pummelos were what they crossed with tangerines to create the hybrid tangelo. I always wondered how that name came to be, and now I get it. Any-hoo, the pomelo/pummelo/whatevs had to come home with me.

I bought one because it really was rather fragrant, and because I adore grapefruit. I figured it probably tasted something like that, and I'm game to try new stuff.

Once I got it home, I began to peel it. The skin is extremely thick, soft and pithy, making it fairly easy to peel. The membranes between the segments, like grapefruit, are thick and easy to remove to get at the segments.


Each segment had numerous teeny-tiny seeds, but they weren't too difficult to get rid of. The flavor of the pulp reminded me very much of ruby-red grapefruit -- sweet and not bitter at all, and very VERY fragrant. Just peeling that thing made the house smell amazing.

Give it a try if you see it in the grocery store. It's fun to try new stuff, you know, and this particular item won't seem unfamiliar once you taste it. It's yummy.