Why? Because I'm watching the game and surfing at the same time, and because I can't fast-forward through the commercials, so I have to do SOMETHING with my hands to keep from going absolutely bonkers.
7:15PM -- Sooners win the toss! Boomer Sooner!
7:45PM -- Great first down by Gresham!! I would've blogged that interception we just took from Timmeh Tebow, but my internet connection fritzed momentarily. HOLY COW I love Gresham, what a terrific reception!! Oh pooh, there's a flag... growl, holding on Robinson, that's his second in about five minutes. Dude needs to settle down.
Momentary rant: Why does it seem like every stinkin' play-by-play announcer hates the Sooners? Hunh? I'm sick of it, I swear I am.
Direct quote just now:
--The PASSION, the FIRE of TIM TEBOW, who is the unquestioned GREATEST LEADER IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL TODAY. What an unbelievable player, and an even more impressive young man.
--And that play wasn't just a first down run, that's an energy play for Florida because the fans of Florida LOVE to see Number 15 in the open field, and as you described, when he lowered the shoulder and ran over the d-back for an additional couple of yards, THAT'S Florida Gator football, and it brings the crowd into it for them.
--Y'know, in such a cynical, sarcastic society, oftentimes looking for the negative on anybody and anything, if you're fortunate enough to spend five minutes or twenty minutes around Tim Tebow, YOUR life [breathless pause] is better for it.
Can we gush just a little bit more? For one thing, the Heisman this year went to THE OTHER QB in this game... "Greatest Leader In College Football Today" eh? I know Tebow's a great guy, but really?
8:15PM -- Can someone please remind me why I had children? I just missed BOTH TOUCHDOWNS because I had to put the kids to bed. Sheesh. They're old enough to put themselves to bed, aren't they? But NOOOOOO, when Mom wants very badly to watch a stinkin' football game, we have to have ginormous emotional crisis moments.
8:20PM -- "Excessive Celebration?" I know this one went in our favor, but geesh, people, lighten up. Let 'em celebrate.
8:24PM -- INTERCEPTION!!!! That's number two, peeps. My man Gerald McCoy snagged it.
8:27PM -- They should NOT have stopped us twice in a row that close to the goal line. Where is our line?
8:48PM -- Okay, that's TWICE we've gotten inside the five yard line and been stopped. [swear words deleted]
Half Time. Dang, my bladder is screaming.
9:20PM -- The announcers finally said something good about Sam Bradford, as they marveled at his precision even on a long pass. Thought I'd better mark it down, since it may not happen again.
9:43PM -- Grrrrrrrr. Florida TD. I agree, Aunty Susan, this game is stressing ME out, too. Sheesh. I don't smoke, but I think I might need a cigarette or something.
9:49PM -- Blocked punt. We have GOT to get our groove back, and FAST.
10:06PM -- TOUCHDOWN!!! YESSSS!!! That was a terrific drive, with tons of momentum. Yay!! Tie game!! C'mon, defense!!!! Hold 'em hard and intercept that ball quick!!
10:23PM -- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO we did not need to turn over the ball right then! Gah! I am going to gnaw my fingertips clean off.
10:34PM -- TD Gators. Three minutes left in the game. I think I'm going to throw up now. Don't comfort me, I do NOT want to hear it. This is the last time I wear my white Sooners shirt, though, because the only other time I've worn it was when we lost to tee-yew. We lost that game by ten points, too.
It's going in the garbage. I may set fire to it. No, on second thought, I may stuff it like a pillow or something. I certainly won't ever WEAR it again, though. I just can't bring myself to throw away something that has my Sooners on the front of it.
[kicking the floor, hard]
[thinking swear words]
[lots and lots of them]
[but not saying them]