Dude, you're probably CALLING the things, not driving them AWAY

Bagpipes fail to deter bats

An Australian orchard grower said fruit bats are decimating his crop and not even the drone of his bagpipes can scare them away.

Bob Johnson and his wife, Sue, said the Queensland state government passed environmentalist-backed legislation last year to stop orchard growers from shooting bats, leaving them with few options to protect their crop, the Brisbane Courier-Mail reported Friday.

Johnson said he tried playing his bagpipes to scare away the bats but they were unmoved by his Scottish musical stylings.

I'm guessing a troupe of piccolists probably wouldn't be successful, either. Perhaps some Fall Out Boy might successfully rid the man's orchard of fruit bats.