News of the weird

Okay, this is probably the weirdest thing I read on the intarwebz today:

Calvin Klein cologne attracts wild cats and other animals

"Jaguars are highly elusive creatures and for years WCS researchers struggled to develop more effective methods for estimating how many jaguars were in the forest, hidden amongst the ancient Maya temples,” said Roan McNab, WCS Guatemala Country Director. “Now, due to the fact that jaguars love Obsession for Men, WCS field conservationists are getting more precise estimates of jaguar populations.”

Based on the photos released by the WCS, the cologne also attracts pumas, ocelots, tapirs, peccaries and coatis.

I can only imagine what CK's new ads will look like now. Rowr!

Peruvian swimming hole nightmare

Don't click here if you have a weak stomach...

Leech With Huge Teeth Discovered In Girl's Nose

Don't say you weren't warned. I, for one, will not be taking a dip in any Peruvian body of water anytime soon.

[shudder]

It's FRIDAY!!!

It's Friday and I get to wear jeans to school. I put the brakes on a couple of smartass freshman boys yesterday and got a nice clean floor out of the deal.

This is starting out to be a pretty great day. One of my two favorite English curmudgeons is on FoxNews right now (Stuart Varney) (the other one is John Derbyshire). I'm having a tall cuppajoe. And I loaded my Prokofiev CD onto my iPod last night. OH-- and I bought the Glee first season soundtrack on iTunes. That's what I'll be listening to during Art class today.

Wheee!

On a more humorous note, guess what? I've just had a MAJOR source of blogfodder added to my life.

I'm going to be the cheerleading sponsor next school year.

Karma is really weird sometimes, yanno?

Sis Boombah is going to be my new name. hehe

I've been told that I was pale, but this is ridiculous

Japanese develop see-through fish

First came see-through frogs. Now Japanese researchers have succeeded in producing goldfish whose beating hearts can be seen through translucent scales and skin.

The transparent creatures are part of efforts to reduce the need for dissections, which have become increasingly controversial, particularly in schools.

"You can see a live heart and other organs because the scales and skin have no pigments," said Yutaka Tamaru, an associate professor in the department of life science at Mie University.

I totally want one of these. I love fancy goldfish anyway; I used to keep a couple of spectacular lionhead orandas that just made me happy. I hope to keep some specimen goldfish again someday. One of these nifty little guys would make a great addition to an aquarium.

For those of you wondering about that funky little creature named Domo-kun

Domo-kun, the fuzzy, toothy brown thing that 7-Eleven stores have recently used in an ad campaign, originated in Japan. You know how NBC uses a peacock as their "mascot"? The Japanese television network NHK uses Domo-kun as their mascot.

I am particularly fond of this little guy, for some inexplicable reason. Here's the first video short of Domo-kun, explaining his origin:

Ninja? NOT.

Enter the hospital: Would-be ninja impaled while trying to leap metal fence in Seattle

[The police spokesman] says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.

No kidding. Really?

Okay, y'all are really gonna think I'm weird, but...

I have found a new favorite snack: Dried Shredded Squid.

Yeah, I know. That sounds really, really weird. I guess from a USA standpoint, it may be. But if you like beef jerky or turkey jerky, this is just "jerky" made from shredded squid. It's got a few seasonings (salt, sugar, MSG -- how can you go wrong with that combo?), but other than that, it's very simple. They also make a hot-n-spicy kind, but I decided to just try the basic one first.

I ordered it from AsianFoodGrocer along with my soba and furikake, just as a lark to give it a try. I am now hooked on this stuff. If you like calamari, shrimp, etc., and you also like beef jerky, you will probably like dried shredded squid. You can also find it on Amazon.

Are you serious?

From across the room just now, Rick says, "There's a boll weevil on this coffee mug."

Me: ?!?

Rick: Yep. Look.

So I looked.


I didn't bring the DSLR home with me this afternoon, so I only had my little Canon point-and-shoot, hence the poor quality of the closeup. But that certainly looks like a boll weevil to me. Why he's sitting on a coffee mug on my dining room table, however, I cannot begin to guess.

Catch the Blues

Apparently they do exist -- blue lobsters -- but they're pretty rare.

NH man snares rare cobalt-blue lobster

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. (AP) - At first, New Hampshire lobsterman Bill Marconi thought he had caught a shiny blue beer can in his trap. It turns out it was a rare, cobalt-blue lobster. The 52-year-old lobsterman was out hauling 400 traps with his son Wednesday when he snared the 1 1/2-pound lobster in between his dock and the Isle of Shoals, about six miles off the coast.

New England Aquarium Research Director Mike Tlusty told Foster's Daily Democrat only one in 5 million lobsters are blue.

Tlusty said blue lobsters are different in that they are better at processing astaxanthin, an antioxidant with a red pigment derived from algae. The substance bonds with proteins in the lobster's shell, resulting in the blue pigment.

He didn't eat it, in case you were wondering. He donated it to the Seacoast Science Center. The photograph above isn't of the one he caught; there wasn't a photo included with the story. So instead I Googled "blue lobster" and that photo by Leslie Ricker was the first one to return. I thought it was a spectacular photo. I love the intensity of the blue.

Freaks are beautiful. I aspire to be one, myself.

Funky fruit

Pomegranates are some weird-looking fruit, that's what.





They're like little alien spacecraft... or like a tomato that's being shot through with a bullet emerging out the end.



Just very weird.

Always look on the bright side of life [whistle]

Python tune top 'alternative' funeral song

A British survey has named the Monty Python tune Always Look on the Bright Side of Life as the country's top alternative funeral song.

The survey of 764 people, commissioned by the Children's Society, found the song from Monty Python's Life of Brian was the top choice among respondents, with one fifth of those polled saying they would like the ditty played at their funerals, The Daily Telegraph reported Tuesday.

Personally, I want the theme song to "Red Dwarf" played at MY memorial service:

It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.


I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

And when my shell gets cremated, I want it to be divided in two equal parts. The first part is to be transported to Fiji and scattered on a beach there somewhere by my best friend, who will be required to then spend an inordinate amount of time vacationing there.

The other part of my ashes is to be used during the next ice storm to "grit the path." Any true Red Dwarf fan will know exactly what that means.

Just don't put him between two pillars in the courthouse, k?

Grayson County (TX) death row inmate gouges out other eye, eats it

HUNTSVILLE, TX ― A Grayson County man sentenced to die for killing his wife, her daughter and their son, gouged out his other eye in prison last month.

According to the warden at the state prison in Huntsville, death row inmate Andre Thomas gouged out his left eye in early December and then ate it.

Five days after the murders in March 2004, Thomas gouged out his right eye inside a Grayson County jail cell after reading a Bible verse.

I got nothin'.

Jell-O-stone solution to lake trout problem?

Jell-O might eliminate lake trout in Yellowstone

Apparently they're trying to get rid of an introduced species of fish in Lake Yellowstone, and they've found that Jell-O might be a legitimate solution.




I have no idea why I'm posting this. I just thought it was really weird and that you might think it was weird, too. Can you imagine visiting Yellowstone (one of my very favorite vacations, I might add) and standing at the shore of the lake and jiggling it with your toe?

EWWWW!!

Nebraska's "Butt Bandit" suspect faces charges

Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said that on Tuesday he filed nine counts of public indecency and one count of disturbing the peace against 35-year-old Tom Larvie of Valentine, Nebraska. All are misdemeanors.

Larvie is suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints of his naked behind, and sometimes his groin, on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine since the spring of 2007.

The marks were made with lotion or petroleum jelly.

Larvae tend to be smallish and worm-like, right? Maybe the guy's just a walking self-fulfilling prophecy.

Where's the outrage?

Police net Shanghai's cricket fighting king

Shanghai police have smashed a professional cricket fighting ring in a raid that snared the city's most notorious handler of the insects, state media reported Thursday.

Police arrested 66 people and seized 520,000 yuan (72,000 dollars) at an illegal cricket fight on Monday night, a police spokeswoman said, confirming state media reports.

The blood sport, which dates back to the Tang Dynasty (618-907 AD), is flourishing in China's financial hub particularly among middle-aged unemployed men who bet tens of thousands of yuan on bouts, the Shanghai Daily cited investigating officers as saying.

In a cricket fight, handlers prod two insects with sticks until they are angry and then set them loose on each other in a box for a fight to the death. Gambling on these bouts is illegal in China.

Winning crickets can become famous and funerals have been known to be held for them when they are defeated. The prize fighters are fed special diets and are plied with female crickets to keep them in top form.

Somehow this just doesn't raise the same amount of ire in me as the Michael Vick dogfighting thing did. They're bugs, for Pete's sake. BUGS. Let the poor old men get their jollies pitting BUGS against one another... who cares? Sheesh.

This weekend's "I have absolutely no idea what purpose this serves" story

From Ananova:

Man writes with tears

A Chinese man can write calligraphy with water he shoots from his eyes.

Ru Anting, 56, of Luoyang, Henan province, sucks up the water with his nose and then sprays it through his tear ducts.

He recently demonstrated his skill at the Lotus World park in Shanshui city, Guangdong, where he wrote four characters, 'Fu Ru Dong Hai' ('Fortune as vast as the sea'), on a board covered with red paper.

Ru told the China News Network that he discovered his unusual talent as a child while swimming in the river.

"Sometimes I would swallow water while swimming, and once I accidentally discovered the water I swallowed could be shot out through my eyes. My friends were all shocked to see it," he said.

But it wasn't until the 1990s, when Ru lost his job in a local fertilizer factory after more than 20 years, that he began to develop his unusual talent.

"At that time I started to train myself and hone my eye spraying skills," he explained.

After three years of intensive training, he found he could shoot water accurately up to 10ft from his eyes at will.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry...

Ever notice that when you're watching some show with Canadians, they pronounce the word "sorry" as "SORE-ee" instead of the US version which sounds like "SAH-ree"? It's even more of a dead giveaway than the ubiquitous "eh." Most professional actors get the "eh" trained out of them, but the SORE-ee is kind-of stuck.

Well, apparently now lots of Canadians can say that they're SORE-ee without fear of legal repercussions...

Ontario to make it easier to apologize for mistakes

TORONTO - It will soon be easier to say you're sorry in Ontario.

The government plans to adopt an act that will allow everyone to apologize without having to worry about being sued. Sources say Attorney General Chris Bentley and Health Minister David Caplan will on Tuesday announce the adoption of the Apology Act, initially introduced by Liberal backbencher David Orazietti.

Orazietti tabled his private member's bill last April, saying he hoped to encourage more people to offer sincere regrets for their mistakes.

The bill would allow doctors, nurses and police to apologize for their errors without worrying about whether their statements will be used against them in civil court.

While the law would apply to all Ontario residents, it's expected to have a special significance in health care, since professionals are generally advised to not apologize for fear those statements would be used against them in court.

British Columbia, Saskatchewan and Manitoba have similar apology laws, as do 35 U.S. states.

Bentley has said he wanted to look into the ramifications of adopting the legislation, and both opposition parties have said they like the idea.


The Canadian Press, 2008

You know, it has never occurred to me that a nurse might actually APOLOGIZE for taking six tries to put in an IV needle... but they never do, do they? I wouldn't sue them, but it would be nice to hear an "Oh geez, I am so sorry, I know that hurts."

Instead they keep smacking your arm to "bring up the vein", leaving it red and inflamed, or they wiggle the needle around in there hoping to strike oil or something.

I'm still going to sing the praises of the folks at North Texas Hospital who absolutely were the BOMB. I was dreading surgery and fearing the worst, having experienced the truly awful in the past... but was pleasantly surprised by the posh treatment and the kind, attentive care I received there. That's where I'll go from now on, whether it's an ER visit or a scheduled procedure.

Big Fun in Ballyhoo

Martha with one of her pals from school.




What To Wear To A Monster Truck Bash: Heels, Daisy-Duke shorts and an off-the-shoulder t-shirt.

I think I was not dressed properly for this event... I was wearing my OU t-shirt (which I wear every Saturday in the fall).



Infant Fashion Tip: Diaper, socks, and a mohawk haircut. Tres chic.


YeeHAAAAWWW!!! It's Monster Truck Time!!!

Here's a brief video of some of the Monster Truck Action. The building in the background is the Ballyhoo Elementary School. You'll hear Isaac in the background as well as a few of my students:





Does this officially make me a redneck now?

This event was sponsored by all the local churches. The driver of the Monster Truck told his life story after the festivities. Prior to the Smashing of the Junk Cars By The Monster Truck, we were regaled by live worship music -- every single song exactly the same as the ones we did back in the Soulfire days. [sigh] We thought we were so edgy and out-there.

I guess, however, that this qualifies as "speaking the local language" in a way. No-one would come to a symphony performance here, but line up the Monster Truck Guy and give away free hotdogs and the whole town (plus all the even smaller communities nearby) will show up. It's what works here, so we went and participated and enjoyed ourselves.

Weird tooth/mouth stuff

This is long, so if yawners about personal health issues bore you, move along to the next post and ignore this one.

Remember back a couple of weeks ago when it looked like I was going to have to have a root canal? Well, I have a VERY weird follow-up to that tale.

I went to see my dentist in Sanger. She sat me down and x-rayed my mouth and tapped on my teeth and examined me as well as she could. The intense pain I felt whenever she tapped on one particular molar in my lower right jaw was enough to make me nearly come out of the chair. It had already been throbbing and aching for several days and I was miserable.

She noticed a small lesion on the inside of my gums near that tooth. "I first noticed it right after I had surgery, so I had just assumed it was some sort of abrasion related to all the anesthesia apparati that probably had to be crammed in there," I told her. My mouth is rather small, as are my teeth, in comparison to my gigantic head, so I could understand how there might not be room for tubes and masks and things during surgery. At any rate, I had noticed this "skinned place," as I termed it, but had also noticed that (unlike most mouth injuries) it had not healed up at all over the two weeks since my surgery.

The dentist and hygienist both postulated that it could be an opening through which an abscess on the root of that molar was draining. Yecch! Any-hoo, weighing all the facts as she had them, she said it was probable that I needed a root canal. Before she could perform such a task, however, I needed to have the infection cleared up, so she put me on a course of regular old penicillin for a week.

After a few days, Rick and I determined that there was no way we could afford $900 for a root canal, so I cancelled the appointment, but I finished the antibiotic regimen nonetheless. Of course, my tooth stopped hurting (thanks to the penicillin), so I was hoping I could at least hold out until my dental insurance kicked in before going back to have the deed done.

A couple of days later, the little abrasion thingy became a puffy little abscess that was quite painful in its own right (although the tooth itself didn't hurt anymore). I didn't mess with it for a week.

Finally yesterday I decided to lance the thing. THEN it got weird. It burst open and a good-sized shard of TOOTH emerged from it.

Wait, what?

You read that right. A triangular, sharp hunk of TOOTH came out of the abscessed place on the inside lower right side of my gums.

WTF?

There are a couple of possibilities I can see here. First, since I noticed the abrasion right after surgery, it is conceivable that somehow during intubation a bit of one of my teeth got broken off and somehow jammed into my gums. You'd think, though, that if a section of tooth that big got broken off, I'd have noticed.

The other possibility is even weirder. That area is pretty close to where I had my wisdom teeth removed twenty years ago. What are the chances that a stray chunk of wisdom tooth (mine were completely facing the wrong way and a total mess when they took them out) got broken and then healed up inside the gums? And what are the chances that the broken chunk of tooth would eventually have to work its way out?

Anyway, the relief was literally IMMEDIATE. My tooth doesn't even hurt a little bit, and the abscessed place on my gums is GONE just one day later.

And I didn't have to have a root canal.

Here's hoping that was the whole problem and I really DON'T have to have major dental work now. It sure appears to be the case.

Thank you, Jesus. We seriously did NOT need that expense at this moment.

It's precisely at times like these that the Johnny Appleseed song comes to mind:

"Oh, the Lord is good to me,
And so I thank the Lord
For giving me the things I need
The sun and the rain and the apple seed
The Lord is good to me!"

From the "You can't make this stuff up" files:

New Arab Smuggling: Crocodiles, Squirrels & Kangaroos?

(IsraelNN.com) Egyptian officials have arrested an Arab who tried to smuggle into Gaza crocodiles, kangaroos and squirrels, according to GulfNews.com. Officials in Al Arish said, "Emad Khalil Hassan, 48, was caught with two crocodiles, eight squirrels and two kangaroos in his car."

It was not clear where the smuggler obtained the animals and what he intended to do with them.

Hmmm... two crocodiles, eight skwerls and two kangaroos... surely there's a comedy routine in there somewhere...