Groaner of the day

So there I was, drawing silhouettes of Jennifer Aniston, when it suddenly occurred to me that I was engaging in Rachel profiling.

[ba dum CHING]

Caturday humor

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Do YOU love your Poo Chi?

I LOL'd when I saw this over at The Anchoress' place:

Isaac humor

Okay, so when a person undergoes a BPD/DS bariatric procedure, it's almost a guarantee that THERE WILL BE GAS. And lots of it.

I'm proving this to be true. If I didn't just, well, cut loose while I'm here at home, I'd spend my entire life in the bathroom. It's just the way it is. So I will occasionally rip one. Everyone here is accustomed to it and usually doesn't even notice anymore.

Except when there's a particularly vehement expulsion. Just now, Isaac said, "Holy cow, Mom. D'ya think that one showed up on the Richter Scale?"

heh

Fred Phelps Rickrolled!!!

Just saw CGH Tweeting this and had to spread the laughter...

San Francisco's Answer to Westboro Baptist Church

You might think that it's NSFW, from the title, but really it's just plain awesomeness and not even a little NSFW except for the Westboro creeps' signs that say the word "F*GS" on them. It's about time somebody did something like this, and if the WBC creeps ever come anywhere near where I live, I'll do the same thing, I swear.

Bathroom humor

Met my Aunty Ada at Braum's in Ardmore last night because her youngest son, my 14-year-old cousin Daniel, was going to go with me and my art students to the Amon Carter museum in Fort Worth today and we needed a place to meet and hand-off. We love Braum's burgers and ice cream, so it was a logical choice.

After our marvelous repast, I excused myself to the restroom and closed the stall. I then suddenly realized that the feet going past the other side of the stall door were decidedly masculine in nature. HORRORS! I realized I had just entered the wrong restroom and I was now trapped inside. I patiently waited for the other occupants to exit, but as soon as one would leave, another would enter. I had no recourse.

I texted my cousin out in the restaurant: "Pls help me! I came into the wrong bathroom and now I am trapped!" Then I waited quietly, hoping everyone would PLEASE LEAVE and let me exit gracefully.

Finally my cousin and my son came in and waited for the other man to leave. After he did, Isaac said, "Mom?"

"I'm here," I said. "Is it safe to leave?"

"Yep."

I exited as quickly and quietly as I could. Aunty Ada and Unka were shaking with laughter at the table. As was I.

Life's always entertaining.

It's Caturday!

I ordered a Random Box o' Crap from Woot the other day and looky what came in the mail today! A kitteh with laser-beam eyes! How cool is that? I love Woot.

Tee hee!

I love LOLcats and LOLdogs pictures. Some are funnier than others, of course, but once in a while one of them will give me a lasting smile:



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Heh

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And yet not one of them said "Ni!"

Nor did I find any adjacent shrubbery. This particular room at the Metropolitan Museum of Art was rather devoid of vegetation. Of course, if I'd been able to take these kuh-NIGGITS out back into Central Park, they might've just sprung to life and jousted a few joggers.

A lovely specimen Japanese maple tree (actually, this one could be a Korean maple; they always seem even more delicate than their Japanese siblings) in Central Park on my birthday, November 14, 2009.

Tongue-In-Cheeky!

Promising Pre-Med Wins Nobel Prize in Medicine

The Nobel Prize Committee announced today that it is awarding the Prize in Medicine to Jimmy Duncan, a senior at Horace Greeley High School in Chappaqua, New York, for getting a 97 on his bio-chem final.

“The Committee felt that Master Duncan has shown great promise with his outstanding grades,” said Dr. Leif Quisling, chairperson of the Nobel Prize Committee. “It is our fervent hope that this award encourages him to do great things in the future, such as find a cure for cancer.”

The committee was first alerted to Jimmy Duncan when they came across a YouTube clip of Duncan’s class presentation on his career goals.

“We were particularly struck by his unbridled optimism,” said Dr. Quisling. “Duncan closed his passionate talk with these inspiring words: ’And we can end cancer in our lifetimes if we all work together really, really hard!’ It is exactly those kind of empty platitudes that impress this committee. Far more so than anything so gauche as actual achievement.”

Mr. Duncan was somewhat blase’ about the news. “I was lying in bed playing a little X-Box before heading off to school when my mom yelled, ‘Jimmy, you’ve got a phone call from Stockholm!’ It was pretty cool, yeah.”

Saw this place over in Vienna, Virginia on the way to the Metro stop there. I pondered aloud whether it was next door to Our Lady of the Sacred Duvet.

The grounds were beautifully plush and, well, comforting-looking. As it should be, I suppose.

Why do they call them "hummingbirds?"

Because they forgot the words.



This little female hummer is diving in for some sweety goodness.

And now, for your amusement, a selection from LOLcats:

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A chuckle for your day

Beaker for the win!!

Hat tip to my pal Esbee for this little nugget of... wait for it... JOY. hehe

Why I'm irritable this week

Thanks to Elisson, I can now laugh about it.

Fun bumper sticker of the day

For RedFish and my cousin Heather

The perfect t-shirt for y'all.

Geopolitical humor

Saw this over at BabaluBlog and nearly had to replace my computer keyboard afterward:

What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the copy, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, drinks tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

Hah! Mas!