If I had lots of money...

If I ever won the PowerBall (assuming I ever actually buy a lottery ticket, but that's beside the point), I would lavish stuff like this on my soon-to-be-born niece:

Disco Tex Texano
by Roberto Cavalli Kids
on sale for just $208 at Zappos.com

I swear, if they came in my size, I'd probably get some for MYSELF. Holy cow those are too cute! hehe

Ten fictional towns/places in which I'd like to live

1. Hogsmeade (from Harry Potter)
2. Cair Paravel (from Narnia)
3. The Shire (from The Hobbit)
4. Avonlea (from Anne of Green Gables)
5. Risa (the vacation planet from Star Trek)
6. Dibley (from The Vicar of Dibley)
7. Gilligan's Island (surely you know this one)
8. Mayberry (from Andy Griffith Show)
9. The Hundred-Acre Wood (Winnie-the-Pooh)
10. Naboo (Star Wars)

Feel free to add ones you like in the comments! :)

Caturday

Dude's new favorite spot: wherever I lay my purse. I have no idea why; I'm not keeping any cans of tuna in it. But I've even seen him lying asleep with his face IN my purse.

Dancing Baptists! Oh my!

My eighty-something grandparents, who I've always called Grandmother and Granddad, were introduced to Dance Dance Revolution yesterday by their great-grandson Isaac:



Next thing we'll hear they've been playing CARDS. Oh the shame of it.

I'm actually joking; I don't think dancing and card-playing and lipstick-wearing and stuff like that have been actually scandalous for nearly a century in Baptist circles. I could be wrong, of course... Baptist churches tend to do things autonomously and not within any denominational regulation or oversight.

And my grandparents are AWESOME people. The epitome of coolness.

I won! hehe

Just for funs, of course... no Saddest Bee mug or anything like that... but I won a caption contest!

Skwerl Stuff

The police in Atlanta have arrested Sam Alston, 61, for shooting skwerls in his backyard. "They were eating from my bird feeder," he insisted.

What I want to know is -- how can I contribute to his legal defense fund?

----------------------------------------------

Ten thousand customers lost power in Allentown, PA this morning because of a skwerl. One more suicide skwerl has made life difficult for thousands of Americans. Wake up, folks! This is war!

----------------------------------------------

Joseph Shelfo of Alexandria, Louisiana has a skwerl for a friend.

"He fell out of a tree," Shelfo said of Rusty. Shelfo said he took the young squirrel into the house. Rusty lived for just a little while in the kitchen window, receiving care from Shelfo. Shelfo then began to take Rusty outside for a refresher course on climbing trees. "Whenever he got scared he would hold onto my hand tight," Shelfo said. "He trusts me." Now, Rusty is back at in action and is climbing trees all around the neighborhood, Shelfo said. But the little furry guy hasn't forgotten to come by and thank the man who helped him get back on his feet.

Dude, I have news for you. Rusty is NOT your friend. He's just lulling you into a false sense of security. He WILL attack you. It is only a matter of time.

My TV Favorites

John Caparulo, host of CMT's Mobile Home Disaster

I have a new favorite television show... it's called Mobile Home Disaster and it's on CMT.

No, I don't make a habit of watching Country Music Television, I swear. I mean, country music's great and I've come to appreciate a few of the new folks (Brad Paisley, anyone?), but watching MTV or CMT or any other Music Television is just not really my cuppatea.

I was browsing through the list of channels, though, and saw that a show called "Mobile Home Disaster" was on right then. I thought I'd check it out and see if it was as goofy as it sounded.

O. M. G. that is one of the funniest shows EVAR! The host, John Caparulo (Cap), is fall-down funny and totally TOTALLY makes the show. We now DVR the show so I don't have to watch anything else on CMT.

I also have made a switch in my late-night preference. For many, many years I have been a firm Lettermaniac. In recent years, however, he has become increasingly bitter and nasty about President Bush. I can live with silly mockery, but out-and-out hatred is just too much. Especially when it's every other joke. Dave, you're great, but get over the Bush Derangement Syndrome. Puhleeze.

No, I usually watch something else until Leno/Letterman are over and then switch to CBS to watch Craig Ferguson:



Craig is the bomb. I heart him. A lot. And he's actually FUNNY without all the bitterness. Dave needs to retire and CBS should give that time slot to Craig.

Something I don't think I've ever seen

Dude was PANTING tonight... apparently our little laser-tag session on the living room walls was a pretty serious workout, because he's lying down and has his little kitty-tongue hanging halfway out of his mouth.

He's just so dadgum funny when I get the laser pen out. He actually comes over to me and ASKS me in kitty-speak to get the pen out, and when I pick up the pen, he literally hunkers over and gets into the On-Your-Mark, Get-Set position and waits for me to turn on the fun. I make him chase it around the living room floor, then I take it up the wall and he follows it up as if he's got gecko-feet.

Gotcha!!!

Hey, how did you get on my foot?!?

Lookit! Up there!! MUST. CATCH. LITTLE. RED. LIGHT.

I sure wish my clawz would grip this slippery paneling so I could really catch the little bouncy light...

Contest!!

Not here, of course... someday when I win the lottery or something, I'll host cool giveaways like this:

IowaGeek's (NON) Scrap Bribing

Prize is either a Flickr Pro account or a Premium Picknik account. I'm gunning for the Flickr Pro account, myself, but that's because I've already got pretty good photo editing software and capabilities.

Y'all go on over there, and leave a comment, and be sure to mention that you saw it HERE on GradualDazzle's Anywhere But Here blog.

News roundup

Just stuff I thought was interesting:


Idiot Parent of the Year

From the day they were weaned, Bertie and Lizzie had never eaten meat, fish or dairy foods - except a slice of raw goat's cheese once a month.

'I'd heard about the raw food diet through a friend and thought it sounded like a really healthy thing to do,' says Holly, 45.

But then I started noticing that something wasn't right. The children were wearing clothes two sizes smaller than they should have been.

Money, money, money, money... MONET

Claude Monet's painting "Le Bassin aux Nympheas" sold for 40.9 million pounds (51.7 million euros, 80.5 million dollars) at an auction in London on Tuesday, smashing the previous record auction price for the artist's work.

Even the cops are trying to get out

Dozens of law enforcement agents and business owners from across the border in Ciudad Juárez are seeking political asylum here, or moving to other Texas cities, including Dallas, a situation that underscores the escalating drug war and its widening impact on families, government officials and humanitarian groups say.

What Would Chicks Drive?

Because it's been the No. 1 woman-dominated vehicle for years, the automotive press has long maligned the VW Beetle for being the quintessential "chick car." To be fair, the flower vase on the dash does give this impression. But since its arrival in May, the VW Tiguan has taken over the No. 1 position, making it the ultimate in estrogen-based car buying.

They have lawns at the North Pole?

Alaska State Troopers used lights and sirens to apprehend a North Pole man suspected of driving under the influence after he allegedly led them on a slow-speed chase that covered several lawns.

The 20-year-old man was on a riding mower. Sunday's pursuit lasted about 200 feet and reached speeds of up to 5 mph before a trooper got out of a cruiser and told the man to stop.

Redneck Trailer-Trash Skwerls

Apparently the beloved red skwerls in the UK that they're trying to rescue from the Big Bad Grey Skwerls aren't exactly the classy type:

When It Comes To Female Red Squirrels, It Seems Any Male Will Do, Even Close Relatives

The researchers also found that the relatedness of parents had no effect on the neonatal mass and growth rate of their offspring. As well, whether or not an offspring survived to one year of age wasn't affected by having related parents either.

As I've proven recently, skwerls are alien invaders. Inbreeding isn't a big deal because they're just Replicators.

What bothers me is that there is someone somewhere being PAID to test the DNA and measure the neonatal mass and growth rate of baby skwerls.

Particularly when the threat they pose merits ACTION NOW:

Sewage flows into Lake Estes

A squirrel zapped by a power line disrupted electricity to an Upper Thompson Sanitation District lift station Sunday morning, causing a 30,000-gallon sewage spill into Lake Estes.
Somehow, according to district manager Jeff Hodge, the Fish Creek station’s backup generator did not turn on.
“It was the way that the power went out,” Hodge said. “It was one of those acts of God, or act of squirrel in this case.”
Fortunately, the accident happened around 4:30 a.m., when the flow to the lift station is low.
And by 8:45 a.m., the pumps were up and running.
And, also fortunately, a manhole cover kept any solid sewage from overflowing, so only liquids leaked out of the station.
The sanitation district is testing the water at Lake Estes and in the creek and other water sources to be sure the levels of fecal matter are not too high.

Need I say more?

From the Wall Street Journal's online site

How to prepare the perfect pot of green tea






I have read that the ideal water temperature for brewing green tea is around 150 degrees. I'm not yet able to determine that without a thermometer, but when I'm dealing with super-good tea leaves, that's exactly what I do. I heat the water and use a meat thermometer to determine the precise moment when to put the leaves in. Then I let them steep for four to five minutes, but no more than that or you get a slight bitterness.

As far as brands of commercial tea, I have found that the Rishi products have been satisfactory. Republic of Tea is *okay* but it isn't my favorite. I don't even bother drinking the stuff in bags anymore, because it just doesn't hold a candle to the exquisite flavor and aroma of the Real Thing.

Yet another major endorsement for Obama

From the NY Post, we have news of the terrifying Donatella Versace's endorsement of Barack Obama:

BARACK IS IN FASHION

Barack Obama scored his latest over the weekend when glamour giant Donna Versace described him as "the man of the moment."

She dedicated her Spring-Summer 2009 collection to the Democratic presidential contender, saying she was creating a style for "a relaxed man who doesn't need to flex muscles to show he has power."

Separated at birth: Donatella Versace and The Wraith from Stargate Atlantis?

Yummmmmm

I found this recipe this morning on 101 Cookbooks and inadvertently began drooling.

Blackberry Limeade

I am SOOO going to make this.

Parliament gets it... when will Congress?

BBC -- MP calls for mass squirrel cull

The reds are in drastic decline, and Mr MacLean, an MP in Cumbria, wants a pilot scheme run in Northumberland rolled out across the UK.

The scheme saw 17,000 greys destroyed, and supporters say this has led to a revival for the smaller red squirrels.

Even more amazing:

Liberal Democrat peer Lord Redesdale has been overseeing the scheme in Northumberland, and says he has almost rid the area of the grey squirrel.

This has been achieved with a government grant of just under £150,000, a professional trapper and 300 volunteers.

LIBERAL DEMOCRAT! Where are his animal-rights-activist pals now?

But Andrew Tyler, the director of Animal Aid, told Five Live the project was "absurd".

"It's hateful and bigoted," he said.

"The reason the red squirrel is endangered in terms of its population is because it is being persecuted by people.

"Up until the 1950s people killed them by the hundreds of thousands because they were considered pests, just like the grey."

The reds are cuter, for sure. But in the end, they're all just skwerls. There are lots of different kinds of mosquitoes, too, but they're all nasty and vile and useless.

There are only 140,000 red squirrels in the country, in comparison with 2.5m greys. It is believed that the greys have thrived because of their greater ability to compete for food.

Mr MacLean has accused the government of not providing a "small investment" which he says could see, in the long-term, a native British species to thrive again.

Hey... if they want to get rid of all their two-and-a-half million American import skwerls, can we send all the gazillion English sparrows and starlings back to the UK? Arrange a swap? I can think of a lot of great stews and pot-pies I could make with all that influx of skwerlmeat.

Baby powder! We need baby powder!

My sister is expecting a baby in about a month and a half. It's their first, and we can't wait to see baby Ava's red hair. How do we know baby Ava will have red hair? Well, it's inevitable.





Recently one night, my sister and my BIL had just gone to bed, when suddenly he piped up, "We need baby powder!"

She told him that people don't use baby powder much anymore, and reminded him that their Lamaze coach actually told them NOT to use it because it can cause cancer.

But we all thought it was cute; he hasn't really been around babies very much.

Thumpity thump thump

Driving home from picking up Alice at Camp Spike 'n Wave (epilepsy camp... get it? EEG spikes and waves? hehe), we drove through Luling, Texas, where they were celebrating the Thump Festival. Hot chicks sitting on the backs of convertibles were rolling up and down the main drag shouting, "VOTE FOR MICHELLE" or "VOTE FOR SAVANNAH!". We stopped and bought a couple of watermelons. The guy thumped them for us.

Yummery Summery Goodness

It's time once again for the Carnival of the Recipes, a weekly internet roundup of recipes from people all over the 'net.

This week, I volunteered to host it here on my own humble blog, and I chose the theme:

The Colors of Summer

Are we ready to begin our brilliantly colorful tour of deliciousness? I thought so.

Red:

Stuffed Shells from BlogChef

I made this last night and needless to say, they were all gone very quickly. What’s great about this recipe is the sauce, adding a little red wine to the sauce gives it just the right amount of kick.

Hellfire and Brimstone Chili from Food In The Fort

By the time Catherine came home, the paint was peeling off the ceiling and god knows what sort of damage Leo had inflicted on his intestinal tract in the sampling.

Sausage and Apple Frittata from The Chef's Day Off

This is a simple dish, which can be made very easily at home. In essence all a frittata is an oven baked omelette.

Slow-Roasted Gammon (Ham) With Port & Garlic Sauce from The Chef's Day Off

I have always been fond of gammon ham. When soaked then roasted, it gives a wonderful flavour that is complemented greatly by the sweet region of the palate - using orange, cranberry, pineaapple, and any sweet fruit can produce tremendous results.

Lobster from The Chef's Day Off

...should you come across lobster at a reasonable price, the best lobster you can obtain is Scottish lobster.

Watermelon Soup with Floating Meringue from This Mama Cooks!

Paul Simon may have sung, "Kodachrome, it gives us those nice bright colors.
Gives us the greens of summers. Makes you think all the world's a sunny day, oh yeah!" But I think red is the color of summer...

Farmstand Gazpacho from This Mama Cooks!

I love gazpacho and feel healthy just by eating a bowl. However, I can't understand the need to put bread in the soup to thicken it. Here's a non-bread, gluten free gazpacho recipe from Parade Magazine. It's also a great way to get your daily dose of olive oil in.

Orange:

Orange Baked Rainbow Trout by The Chef's Day Off

Once you have a prepared trout, (head, tail and fins removed, and deboned), open out the fish. Inside the fish add half of the orange zest, one thyme sprig and the crushed garlic clove. Fold the fish back over and repeat with the other trout

In Vino Veritas, In Gravlax Gravitas by Elisson

Yessiree, while you may find Truth in that glass of wine, gravlax - Scandinavian salt-cured salmon - is Serious.

Yellow:

Broccoli, Potato & Onion Gratin by The Chef's Day Off

This dish was originally served as a main meal to sit alongside the orange baked rainbow trout for a vegetarian guest, but can easliy be used as a sundry for accompaniment to a main meal, not unlike daupinoise potatoes (which are a particular favourite of mine).

Pineapple Meatballs from BlogChef

This recipe for pineapple meatballs would be a great dish for a graduation party or for a dinner. I would suggest white rice as a side dish.

Green:

Famous Dave's Firecracker Green Beans by redrocksunrise

We create and find, sometimes in deep dark places of the internet, the best of recipes from famous restaurants.
Now that summer is here, it's time for an EASY and delicious Famous Dave's Restaurant recipe!

Eastern Zen Noodle Soup by Vegetarian Frugal Housewife

The cooking, once I had decided on all of the ingredients, was so fast that those seated at the table awaiting a meal must have wondered if the soup came out of a can.

Nope, it is all freshly assembled, I swear!

Cheesy Pesto Stuffed Mushrooms by EVliving

Put basil, olive oil, pine nuts, Parmesan and garlic in food processor; process until finely chopped, scraping down sides of bowl once.

Sweet Apple Salad from Michele at Meanderings

Beautiful green Granny Smith Apples remind me of summer. They also make a quite tasty sweet apple salad that is quick and easy and oh so yummy!!

Collard Greens & Bacon from The Expatriate's Kitchen

So, we got some real pork from a couple local farms. It tastes good. Which is to say, it has a taste. Grassfed meats are, well, meatier. Personally, I won't ever go back. I'll go vegetarian before I give up grassfed meats. It's that good.

Blue:

Blueberry Pudding Cake by Shawn

Note: To flambé the cake, combine 1/4 cup brandy with 1/4 cup (or less) rum, Grand Marnier, or other orange-flavored liquor. Pour combined liquors into a saucepan and heat until tendrils of smoke begin to rise from the liquor. Carefully light liquor with a match. While flaming, pour over cake and serve.

Purple:

Eggplant-Stuffed Manicotti from Jack Burton

I'm a meatatarian. A true carnivore. If it doesn't have meat in it somewhere it usually doesn't make it to the dining room table.

Which makes things a real challenge when my new daughter-in-law [a vegetarian] comes over to eat.

So the other day, facing a visit from the newlyweds, I had to look around and see what was available to put together - and that all of us could enjoy at the same time.

Being a believer in the art of impromptu cooking I was able to not only meet the challenge, but from the response of the family, far exceed it.

Brown:

No-Knead Bread from Al Nye the Lawyer Guy

Well, I'm here to tell you that I've recently discovered a type of no-knead bread that hands down beats any kind of bread I've made in the past. Really. This bread is slso as good, if not better than, anything you can purchase in your local bakery.

Sweet Noodle Kugel from Innstyle Montana

But as in typical Jewish tradition, there’s always food involved. It was the Shavuot tradition of incorporating dairy products into the festival meal that gave birth to the dairy noodle kugel, and especially the sweet noodle kugel — which echoed the theme of the “sweetness” of the Torah.

How To Grill Fish from The Grilling Coach

Using a wooden plank for grilling fish recipes is fantastic since it allows you to have a great steady surface to hold, whatever food you are grilling especially fish, and together giving you the smoked flavor that you want for your grilling fish recipe.

How to Make a Custom Birthday Cake from How To Me

After our first post on “How to Make Custom Birthday Cakes,” one of our guests asked “Does anyone know how to make a NASCAR cake?” She received several fun suggestions in the comment fields: here. The following is my attempt to answer her question.

Fabulous New Pasta Dish from One Little Corner of the World

I love making a new pasta dish when it turns out well. I found a recipe that called for pancetta and sausage. For my sausage, I used salsciccia that I bought on the hill in St. Louis - the other Little Italy. I love to buy meats, cheeses and other food there.

Grilled Quail over Warm Lentil Salad with Poached Egg, Garlic Cream, Frisee and Bacon from Professor Bainbridge

Spatchcock the quail: Thread two wooden skewers crosswise through the bird to hold it flat in position. Each skewer should pass through a wing and out through the leg on the opposite side, forming an X.

Wow-Your-Friends Iced Tea from Tea Party Girl

Friends, there is no reason to buy a powdered mix filled with chemicals or sweeteners. There is no reason to buy bottled iced tea (that’s expensive water and high fructose corn syrup you’re purchasing! Save your money to fill your gas tank.)

Carne Guisada from My Wooden Spoon

Carne Guisada is like a Mexican stew. Guisada means gravy**I think**..lol. Carne Asada is just meat (dry). This recipe is my mother’s and since she reads my blog, I knew I better give her FULL credit:)

Sweet Chicken Bacon Wraps from my Aunty Ada

Ingredients:

* 1 1/4 lb boneless, skinless, chicken breasts (about 4 breasts)
* 1 (1-pound) package sliced bacon
* 2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar
* 2 tablespoon chili powder


Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes. Cut each bacon slice into thirds. Wrap each chicken cube with bacon and secure with a wooden pick. Stir together brown sugar and chili powder. Dredge wrapped chicken in mixture. Coat a rack and broiler pan with non-stick cooking spray. Place chick on rack in broiler pan. Back at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes or until bacon is crisp.

Yield: 12-15 appetizer servings
Cooking Time: 30-35 minutes
Ease of Preparation: easy

Recipe courtesy Paula Deen

Black:

Blackberry Cake from My Readable Feast

The recipe for Blackberry Cake was submitted by Elsie Cumpton of Worthington, KY to American Profile magazine. She remembers sending this moist cake by mail to her husband when he was stationed in Germany in the US Army back in the ’50s.

White:

White Chocolate Chip Cookies by Home Life Weekly

This white chocolate chip cookie recipe is perfect for those times when you need the gorgeous taste of chocolate. The secret here is the unique flavor of Dutch processed cocoa powder with white chocolate chips. Makes the perfect accompaniment to a glass of milk.

Multicolor:

New Pan, New Recipe by me-ander

This can be a very filling, impressive, fancy diet meal. Just serve it with a salad. For those who can handle the starch, add potatoes to "decorate." Sweet potatoes are also good.

Pav Bhaji from Anywhere But Here

I discovered Pav Bhaji quite by accident this past spring. I was hunting the grocery store shelves for something I could safely eat and I found a boxed prepared Indian dish called Pav Bhaji that was described as Mashed Vegetable Curry. I bought it and took it to school for my lunch... and I swear it was so good, I could've eaten about three packages.

Enjoy a colorful summer!!!

My latest favorite Indian dish

Y'all go check out the Carnival of the Recipes, hosted this week by ME!!

My favorite Indian dish has been Sag Paneer for quite some time, but I might have found one I like just as much.

I discovered Pav Bhaji quite by accident this past spring. I was hunting the grocery store shelves for something I could safely eat and I found a boxed prepared Indian dish called Pav Bhaji that was described as Mashed Vegetable Curry. I bought it and took it to school for my lunch... and I swear it was so good, I could've eaten about three packages. Perhaps it was because I have become so starved for veggies the past year... nonetheless, it was absolutely fabulous. So I figured I should share a recipe for it with you.

I got this recipe from Allrecipes.com.



Pav Bhaji

INGREDIENTS

* 1/2 cup vegetable oil
* 2 teaspoons chopped garlic
* 1 teaspoon finely chopped green chile peppers
* 1 cup chopped onions
* 2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger
* 1 cup chopped roma (plum) tomatoes
* 2 cups cauliflower, finely chopped
* 1 cup chopped cabbage
* 1 cup green peas
* 1 cup grated carrots
* 4 potatoes, boiled and mashed
* 3 tablespoons pav bhaji masala
* salt to taste
* 1 tablespoon lemon juice
*
* 8 (2 inch square) dinner rolls
* 1/2 tablespoon butter
* 1/4 cup finely chopped onion
* 1 tablespoon finely chopped green chile peppers
* 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro



DIRECTIONS

1. Heat the oil in a wok over medium heat. Saute garlic and green chile for 30 seconds, then stir in onions and ginger. Cook until onions are brown. Add tomatoes, and cook until pasty. Stir in cauliflower, cabbage, peas, carrots and potatoes. Season with pav bhaji masala. Cover, and cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Season with salt, and stir in lemon juice.
2. Toast the dinner rolls, and spread lightly with butter. Serve garnished with chopped onion, green chile and cilantro.

Make sure you make enough, because you won't be pleased if you run out...

The War Between The Pampered Pets

They LOVE playing like this... acting all vicious and stuff. Growling, barking, snarling, hissing, wrestling, it's all part of the act. They'll lie down next to one another for a while, panting and resting, then one of them hops up and starts it all over.

Sprinkler Fun

Sparrows like to play in the sprinkler during the hot summer days, too! They were so cute, splashing around and rolling in the water like little kids.

Free and appropriate, mm-hmm

Special needs cases tax state education budget

...
Then came middle school. District officials said they could help Sam, legal records show. They integrated Sam, then in 6th grade, with traditional students because test scores showed he could handle the work and they believed it put him in the least restrictive environment, a tenet of federal law.

But the chaos of six class changes, tougher assignments and what the Levins contend was misplaced support, proved too much. Sam's depression worsened, and in February 2007 he became suicidal, they said.

The Levins withdrew Sam and moved him to New Hope Academy in Niles, where two dozen teachers and psychologists oversee 60 students.

For the first time, Sam wasn't the only bipolar student in class. His medical prescriptions fell from four to two, and his mood swings leveled.

But Sam's plateau came as his family labored to secure his costly education. The Levins fronted the cost of private school and spent $15,000 on legal fees while requesting that the Evanston district reimburse them for the costs.

In December, Judge Julia Quinn Dempsey determined the district should have done a better job of training teachers and staff on the nuances of bipolar disorder. The ruling in the due process hearing required the Evanston district to pay Sam's tuition and the Levin's legal bills, for a total of $51,000.
...

That's at least how much it would cost the district to pay one teacher's salary and benefits. But now the district has to pay for him to attend a private therapeutic school.

Is it what the kid needs? You bet. I won't even bat an eye at that one -- remember, I live with one just like him.

Is it the school's job to provide it? You bet. You see, they made the nest they're living in. It's called FAPE -- that every single solitary child, no matter the abilities or lack thereof, has the RIGHT to a Free, Appropriate Public Education.

But it's going to collapse because it isn't possible. We could all pay one hundred percent in taxes and there still wouldn't be enough money to educate every single child to the point where they can pass the Iowa Test of Basic Skills or the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills or whatever other standardized test somebody wants to give them.

I've actually been looking forward to the collapse of the public education system for many years. I think it could really change things for the better. It's too bad all our hard-earned money has to get flushed down the toilet in the meantime. If I had all the money we shell out in ridiculous taxes, I could afford to medicate and educate my children without anyone's help.

Quote of the day

From McGehee:

In 1976, the American people invited Jimmy Carter to become president and mind the public’s business. He wasn’t very good at it, so in 1980 the American people invited him to go home and mind his own damn business. He’s not very good at that either.

[snickersnicker]

Brought to you by the founder of the Get Offa My Lawn Party, with which I have aligned myself now that I have next to no use for the Repubicans.

That wasn't a typo, by the way. It's a Mark Levin-ism.

LRE and FAPE are going to bite us in the butt, peeps

LRE = Least Restrictive Environment
FAPE = Free Appropriate Public Education

These are the two ten-ton gorilla acronyms which have spearheaded all the special-ed reforms that have taken place in the public schools. No matter what the disability, the public school system is required by law to provide a Free and Appropriate Public Education to any child, and that education must by law take place in the Least Restrictive Environment.

These have always been intended for children with disabilities. Parents have fought -- and won -- many court battles declaring their children's RIGHT to a FAPE in an LRE. What the FAPE and the LRE actually looks like, well, this is where the battles get all picky and lawyers get to write public education policy.

I can foresee, however, that parents of gifted children may have a beef with the public education system for the exact same reason... and I expect our societal tendency to grant blanket rights will then dictate that schools MUST provide gifted programs that meet all the needs of every individual student regardless of their strengths and weaknesses.


Schools, Facing Tight Budgets, Leave Gifted Programs Behind

Before her second birthday, Audrey Walker recognized sequences of five colors. When she was 6, her father, Michael, overheard her telling a little boy: ''No, no, no, Hunter, you don't understand. What you were seeing was a flashback.''

At school, Audrey quickly grew bored as the teacher drilled letters and syllables until her classmates caught on. She flourished, instead, in a once-a-week class for gifted and talented children where she could learn as fast as her nimble brain could take her.

But in September, Mountain Grove, a remote rural community in the Ozarks where nearly three in four students live in poverty, eliminated all of its programs for the district's 50 or so gifted children like Audrey, who is 8 now. Struggling with shrinking revenues and new federal mandates that focus on improving the test scores of the lowest-achieving pupils, Mountain Grove and many other school districts across the country have turned to cutting programs for their most promising students.

''Rural districts like us, we've been literally bleeding to death,'' said Gary Tyrrell, assistant superintendent of the Mountain Grove School District, which has 1,550 students. The formula for cutting back in hard times was straightforward, if painful, Mr. Tyrrell said: Satisfy federal and state requirements first. Then, ''Do as much as we can for the majority and work on down.''

My kid is a super genius and your classroom doesn't challenge her... she's acting out and is bored out of her mind. You had better meet her needs. I don't care how many other kids are in the classroom with their own needs...

The time is coming. Keep a sharp eye. When parents as a whole gave over their responsibility for the education of their own children, and when individuals ceased to take personal responsibility for their OWN education, this is what we get: requirement upon requirement upon unfunded requirement heaped atop struggling public school districts.

Whatever happened to being so determined to get an education that you self-educated? Whatever happened to parents, realizing their children's limitations or special abilities, tailoring their child's educational experiences themselves?

Public education can -- and should -- give a solid framework for young citizens to then build upon in a way that befits their unique gifts. When we start demanding that public education provide the whole building, you're going to get the cheap shoddy gray Communist apartment buildings that institutionalization produces. If you start demanding granite countertops and large balconies for every single person, the system will collapse under the weight of that granite.

Pomegranates!

These are growing in the yard of the Ballyhoo house!

Okay, I'm beginning to put the pieces together

This explains much:

Squirrel population up in Roswell

The New Mexico Department
of Game and Fish is having a
huge problem with squirrels in
Roswell, forcing the department
to kill more squirrels this year
than they have in the past two
years.


I knew it!!!!!

Squirrels are part of an alien plot to destroy the human race. It all makes sense now.

At least the New Mexico Department of Game and Fish is taking the proper precautions. Eschew all that greenie animal rights crap -- this is WAR and we have been INVADED.

Phew

I got a replacement phone today. All is well -- except for my contacts, which were lost. I could've done the internet backup plan for my contact list, but I don't do any internet connection through my phone, so it wasn't possible. The last time I switched phones, they were able to take the memory out of the previous one and I never had to bother.

At any rate, if you were on my Contacts list, there's a very good chance I lost your number. Call or text me sometime so I can get it back.

IF you actually want me to have your number, that is. :)

A lotta watta

This is me, with my blues band, almost exactly three years ago. We were playing to a crowd of 750-1000 or so on the banks of the Des Moines River in downtown Des Moines, Iowa, underneath this really cool metal arch amphitheater thingy.

Here's what that metal arch amphitheater thingy looks like today:



I'm speechless.

My prayers are with my precious Iowa friends.

Carnival of Recipes Time!

This week's theme is "The Colors Of Summer" ... e-mail your most colorful summer recipes to

recipe.carnival@gmail.com

by Saturday afternoon at 1PM and then check back here on Sunday evening for the Carnival post.

I mean it -- I'm expecting a recipe from ALL of you. Send me SOMETHING, k?

Very brief movie review

The kids and I went to see Kung Fu Panda today and loved it! Great story, great message (being fat and flabby and lazy doesn't always mean you're incapable of some seriously cool Kung Fu).

Tentative good news

We may... ***may***... have a HOUSE.

Right IN Ballyhoo, no less.

You heard me right!

We made a lowball offer on a short-sell property, and after much wrangling and jangling with bank people, they have approved our offer.

We have ten days to get it inspected; if there's termite damage or other expensive weirdness, we will probably back out of the deal.

It's in pretty sad shape cosmetically, but structurally it seems to be pretty decent. It's over a hundred years old (seems like those are the only kinds we can ever get) and it's big and roomy. It is very bare-bones, but we got it for a low price, so we will be able to afford to make the necessary changes... ripping down the cabbage-rose wallpaper will be high on the immediate to-do list.

More to come. I'm still not going to get really excited about this just yet. The rug gets yanked out from under us fairly regularly, and I don't like the feeling of being yanked around. If this goes through and we start moving in, THEN will I become enthusiastic.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

Last night I briefly wondered what I'd done with my phone, but I dismissed it thinking I'd already plugged it into the charger back in the bedroom.

Then I went to put the wash into the dryer.

And there was my poor little phone, sitting right on top of the wet clothes in the washer.

I killed the phone.

I left it in my shorts pocket when I put them into the dirty clothes.

We do have insurance, so I made the requisite phone calls and paid the $50 deductible. They're shipping me a new one, hopefully by tomorrow. Could be Monday before I get it.

I don't know why it bothers me so much; I get about two calls a week.

We don't have a landline, though, so it's technically my home phone.

Y'all pray it comes TOMORROW.

More local color

Peachy-keen rose bloom



The corn here is definitely beyond the "Knee-high by 4th of July" standard... but I imagine that the crop in Iowa isn't faring quite so well.



Peaceful hay-meadow



Brilliant talisman rosebud

From my sister who works for the people who make this airplane

Hear, hear

30% Less

I know once I stopped worrying about dieting, I thought more about taking care of the people around me. I thought more about making art, music, and laughter in my home. Everybody relaxed more. Until that happened, I hadn’t realized how much time I was wasting on thinking about not eating food, or what it was doing to my personality.

Book review... and philosophical rant

First on my summer reading list was Escape by Carolyn Jessop.

I started it yesterday. I finished it today. I found it to be riveting and horrifying, but I'm certainly glad I read it. It makes me pray even harder for the liberation of all those women and children who live brainwashed, cult-addled lives... and for the prosecution of the vile men who perpetuate the lie.

Read the book, I tell you!

Merril Jessop and his first six wives (Carolyn is on the far right)

I will confess to having some small misgivings when I first heard of the removal of the kids at the Yearning For Zion FLDS compound in Eldorado, Texas... what business is it of anyone else if these people want to live this way? They're not bothering anyone else and it's their right to practice their religion. Besides, women who AREN'T polygamists are making choices about their own bodies all the time. Surely the FLDS women can live like that if they want to.

Trouble is, they either don't want to, or they've been totally brainwashed into believing it's what they have to do to earn salvation. Or they're statutorially not able to make that decision.

The first thing I learned that began changing my mind was that the "wives" and their multitudinous children were all drawing welfare checks. How DARE those people make ME pay for their bizarre choices? Of course, that's my gripe about welfare in general...

But reading Jessop's book opened my eyes to the absolute violation of the human rights of these people. Yes, it's a narrow edge I'm perched on -- what if enough people in the US decide that me taking my kids to church every Sunday is a violation of their human rights? Or that feeding them Ramen noodles violates their human right to proper nourishment? It's a quandary that concerns me greatly.

However, I don't kick my children until their bones break, or deny them the proper healthcare they need... my kids don't even know what the word "apocalypse" means, much less center their playtimes around it.

The fictitious sixteen-year-old girl who filed the complaint that led to the CPS raid on the compound? I don't think she really was fictitious. I think she's probably dead and her body's been buried or dumped in some remote Arizona or Utah canyon somewhere. Any children she had already borne would either be absorbed into the rest of the family or similarly disposed of.

Sound extreme? Maybe so, but these men are SICK FREAKS and I don't think a single one of them would bat an eyelash at doing that.

A little local color

I've been trying to avoid any unnecessary driving, but this afternoon I got the opportunity to drive up to the next town where they have a City Pool and sign the kids up for swim lessons. I took the opportunity to snap a few photos here and there:

First Baptist Church, Whitesboro.



Old house and dead tree...



Grass. Just grass. I liked the texture so I took a picture of it.



This entire area is serious horse country; there are herds and herds of Quarter Horses everywhere you look.


And they're rather happy horses, as far as I can tell. Who wouldn't enjoy all those lush green expanses and shady pecan trees?

A typical evening in our house

Particularly when Martha's been secretly feeding her the crusts from her pizza...

No double entendre, I promise.

I just thought this was pretty darn awesome and I was wishing I were there. You wanna make more out of it than there is, just remember -- you have to HAVE coconuts for them to be FALLING.

Seen over at Blonde Sagacity

The Open-Toed Shoe Pledge

Y'all need to read this and seriously consider signing it... for the love of all those around you... 'cuz stuff like this is just nasty and definitely NOT SEX-AYYY:

File this under "Wish I'd Said It First"

Just heard Jay Leno bring up this news item:

Heavy marijuana use shrinks two parts of the brain

and his punch line:

"Yeah, the part of the brain that makes you get up off the couch and the part of the brain that makes you get a job."

Isaac and his Pop

Okay, so we can't stay at home EVERY day. Isaac still has a weekly piano lesson in Denton. Of course, this is a good excuse to stop in at JoeMama's and AngieDaddy's house (my parents).




But on the home front, here's another picture of what's going on here:


We started the 'maters a wee bit later than the rest of the neighbors, but the growing season here is pretty long, so I'm not worried.

Finding fun at home

Since we can't afford to actually GO anywhere anymore, thanks to the price of gasoline, we're going to have to find things to enjoy about being right here. The following photographs were ones I could take right from my front porch this afternoon.


This is a crinum lily that's just starting to open up.



Mommy House Finch really really really wanted to sit on her eggs, but I kept sitting there on the porch, so she just couldn't bring herself to settle down.



This teeny-tiny wasp came and sat on the porch railing. I have no idea what species of Hymenoptera it is, but it was very "flick-y" and quite small. Not as small as a Trichogramma, I don't think, but smaller than the paper wasps I had to blast with pesticide this afternoon.

Confession Time

I love American Cheese.

There. I said it.

I don't care how plebeian it makes me. I love real cheese, too; don't get me wrong. But one of my very favorite snacks for my entire life has been a slice of Kraft Singles folded lengthwise into fourths.

Yeah, I did say "real cheese"... because technically speaking, American cheese isn't really cheese. It does have cheese IN it, but it's processed with other stuff to give it the desired texture and melty-ness.

Cheese is a marvelous invention. But I'm no snob about it. I do like Gouda and Gruyere and Gorgonzola. I also like Velveeta, Kraft Singles, and even the pressurized cans of squirty-cheese.

I'm proud to be an American, yessir!

Gotta love that technologeeeeee

Woman calls police to free her from her car when her battery died

She didn't know how to manually unlock her door. When the cops got there, they tried to tell her how to do it, but she couldn't hear them. She waved her cell phone at them, so they called her and explained how to slide the lock mechanism WITH HER HAND.

In the same vein, my kids absolutely canNOT believe that I used to have to GET UP AND WALK TO THE TELEVISION TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL. I told them that was my job, that if Poppi told me to get up and change the station, I did it.

And we had four TV stations to choose from.

Ancient History 101, eh?

Reminds me of a Star Trek TNG episode where some culture on some planet had no idea how to repair some system on their planet that made it habitable because it had worked for so long that no-one had bothered to learn how it was made in the first place.

Stuff

Notice anything... er... unusual about the school parking lot on the last day of school? No? Well, one of the freshman boys who doesn't have his driver's license yet decided he was driving to school anyway. He doesn't have to have a driver's license to drive the tractor.


And guess who's back on the front porch for another go-round?