Friday, June 27, 2008

Skwerl Stuff

The police in Atlanta have arrested Sam Alston, 61, for shooting skwerls in his backyard. "They were eating from my bird feeder," he insisted.

What I want to know is -- how can I contribute to his legal defense fund?


Ten thousand customers lost power in Allentown, PA this morning because of a skwerl. One more suicide skwerl has made life difficult for thousands of Americans. Wake up, folks! This is war!


Joseph Shelfo of Alexandria, Louisiana has a skwerl for a friend.

"He fell out of a tree," Shelfo said of Rusty. Shelfo said he took the young squirrel into the house. Rusty lived for just a little while in the kitchen window, receiving care from Shelfo. Shelfo then began to take Rusty outside for a refresher course on climbing trees. "Whenever he got scared he would hold onto my hand tight," Shelfo said. "He trusts me." Now, Rusty is back at in action and is climbing trees all around the neighborhood, Shelfo said. But the little furry guy hasn't forgotten to come by and thank the man who helped him get back on his feet.

Dude, I have news for you. Rusty is NOT your friend. He's just lulling you into a false sense of security. He WILL attack you. It is only a matter of time.

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