Funniest. Show. On. TV.

Okay, so I'm a little late to this party... I didn't even know it existed, and apparently it's already in its fourth season. Sheesh. I'm going to have to pick up the DVDs of the first three seasons and catch up... although you can come in right in the middle and not be lost at all -- it's just that random.

But It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is absolute comedy brilliance. It's not at all appropriate for children, mind you, but it is fall-down, pee-your-pants funny every single week I've seen it so far. It is definitely now my favorite comedy TV show. The drama fave is still The Closer, but I'm having to wait until fargin' JANUARY for the new episodes.

The writers on this show are just sick and wrong. How could anyone write an episode entitled "Who Pooped The Bed?" and have it be so funny you just can't stop laughing long enough to breathe?

Sick and wrong.

Where's the outrage?

Police net Shanghai's cricket fighting king

Shanghai police have smashed a professional cricket fighting ring in a raid that snared the city's most notorious handler of the insects, state media reported Thursday.

Police arrested 66 people and seized 520,000 yuan (72,000 dollars) at an illegal cricket fight on Monday night, a police spokeswoman said, confirming state media reports.

The blood sport, which dates back to the Tang Dynasty (618-907 AD), is flourishing in China's financial hub particularly among middle-aged unemployed men who bet tens of thousands of yuan on bouts, the Shanghai Daily cited investigating officers as saying.

In a cricket fight, handlers prod two insects with sticks until they are angry and then set them loose on each other in a box for a fight to the death. Gambling on these bouts is illegal in China.

Winning crickets can become famous and funerals have been known to be held for them when they are defeated. The prize fighters are fed special diets and are plied with female crickets to keep them in top form.

Somehow this just doesn't raise the same amount of ire in me as the Michael Vick dogfighting thing did. They're bugs, for Pete's sake. BUGS. Let the poor old men get their jollies pitting BUGS against one another... who cares? Sheesh.

I heart Fauvism

I think that Fauvism might be my very favorite art history movement. I love Abstract Expressionism, of course. But my heart belongs to Henri Matisse, Andre Derain and Raoul Dufy and their wildly colorful, brazen paintings. I have known for some time that I am deeply affected by pure, brilliant color. Even when painting something from a photograph, I tend to heighten the color saturation level of the resulting work as an unconscious act.

Charing Cross Bridge, London, 1906
Andre Derain

Take a look at this nifty cityscape... even an obviously industrial London scene can be beautiful in and of itself. Our surroundings, regardless of drear, have color. You can find it in a color photograph by upping the saturation and contrast levels to their furthest limit. Derain could see it and bring it to life.

Hommage a Debussy, 1952
Raoul Dufy

Can anyone see any similarities between Dufy's style and the 1960s DePatie-Freleng cartoon art? Maybe that's why I love Dufy's work so much... the style pervaded my formative years of television viewing.

La leçon de musique, 1917
Henri Matisse

See how pure the color is! Matisse was the master of color. His vision inspires me every time I look at his work.

Any-hoo, I just thought I'd share some Fauvism with you today. Enjoy!

Okay, I give up.

All the reasons you, too, should vote for Barack Obama:






(h/t IMAO)

Where I'm going to be on November 21, in case you missed the last post

Cedric Diggory's a VAMPIRE! A very HOT one, too, although technically I guess that isn't possible.

What a terrific choice to cast Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen. [wiping the drool from my chin]

I can't believe I still have to wait three more weeks to see this.

Where I'm going to be on November 21

Okay, I confess. I've been reading the Twilight series.

One of my students lent them to me a few weeks ago. I didn't begin because I was already reading something else, and I frankly didn't think I could be that fascinated by a story about vampires (of all things).

Then last Friday I started the first one.

Today, Tuesday, I'm almost done with the fourth and last one.

Yeah, I'm pathetic.

I don't think they're quite as wonderful and well-crafted as the Potter books, but I'm hooked nonetheless. Hooked enough that I'll be going to the movies that night to see Cedric Diggory/Edward Cullen, anyway. YUM!

Tinnitus is back again

Click here for accounts of my previous battles with tinnitus

The low roaring sound in my head is driving me batty. I asked my students today if they wouldn't mind keeping their voices low to spare my madness, since the roaring becomes like speaker feedback whenever voices get louder. They tried, and were very kind about it, but it just makes me crazy anyway.

I really wouldn't be a bit surprised if these troubling bouts indicate that I'm getting closer to losing my hearing for good, though. My first experience with hearing loss was actually a personal one -- I had tubes put into my eardrums four separate times as a child because of such frequent ear infections. By age four, when I finally had the first of these procedures, I was almost completely deaf because of the buildup of fluid. When the fluid drained, I could hear the radio in the car. I was startled at the flush of a toilet. It was like a new world had opened up to me.

But at the same time, the grandma I spent so much time with was losing her own hearing. She fiddled with hearing aids and other assist devices, to little avail. I learned to speak very loudly and clearly to her so she could understand me.

Her grandson, my dad, is also losing his hearing... although he never admits as much to any of us.

I'm right behind him. I already have difficulty hearing my students if they're not directly facing me when they speak... particularly if there's any ambient noise like, oh, for instance, the drama class next door. Not that I'm complaining about the drama class -- I'm glad they stuck us together back there in the back part of the building, even though neither of us now has nearly enough room to accomplish what we need to do, because we're rather compatible. If I have to be stuck with little room, I'd want it to be with someone else who has a similar classroom management style.

It doesn't make the tinnitus much better, though. Let's hope I can ride this one out without the assistance of steroids or other meds.

Meet the Verminator

This dude is my new hero:


Skwerl Wars

“YOU’RE not squeamish are you?”, Paul Parker asks me when I ring to arrange a rendezvous.

Next day, as he opens the back doors of his pest control van, that question quickly makes sense.

Out flop several bushy tails attached to several stiff grey squirrels.

But this isn’t as bad as it gets . . . little do I know that, by the end of the day, the photographer and I will be munching one of them.

Paul is The Verminator. Decked out in camouflage kit, his .22 rifle slung over his shoulder, he’s an assassin, hell bent on the extermination of that foreign invader — the grey squirrel — and the preservation of our native red.

he pest controller is Lord Rupert Redesdale’s right-hand man and together they form the Red Squirrel Protection Partnership, one of a plethora of squirrel saving societies across the North East and Cumbria.

But while some groups are reticent about using the “c” word, culling is what the RSPP claims to do best.

Although their figures are considered by some to be grossly exaggerated — squirrel conservation is nothing if not political — the RSPP say they’ve slaughtered more than 20,000 grey squirrels in the past 18 months, virtually clearing the whole of Northumberland and, according to Lord Redesdale, pushing back the advance of the greys by 10 years. “Red squirrels are magical, mystical little things,” Paul tells me as we check traps in an oak copse in Riding Mill.

“They’re totally different to the greys. Every one is unique. They’re like the Beatrix Potter characters.”

Their North American grey cousins, imported into the UK over 150 years ago, get no sympathy from Paul who puts them in the same category as “long tails” or “tin hats”, he’s a superstitious man who won’t say the word “rat”.

“They are just vermin with a big bushy tale,” he says, “the animal equivalent of hoodies. People don’t understand that they eat songbirds’ eggs and let’s talk about our ancient woodland that they’re wrecking.”

It is not just the squirrel pox, a virus carried by the greys who are immune, that is responsible for the red’s demise, it is the fact that the greys can out-compete them in other ways.

“Greys will eat anything,” Paul says. “I’ve caught them with mince pies, jelly babies, honey and even liquorice allsorts.”

The traps he’s checking today are laced with beef.

He says: “I’m always trying to get the edge on them,” with a glint in his eye. “When I started laying traps in this wood 18 months ago we were getting seven to eight every day. Today, as you can see, there’s nothing.”

You gotta go read the rest, especially about the little old ladies with elephant guns. I swear, this makes me smile so wide I think my face will break in two. These salty Brits GET IT.

Chicks Rule!

At least one of them does, anyway.

Goldikova wins Breeders Cup Mile

Filly Goldikova triumphed in the two million-dollar Breeders' Cup Mile on Saturday to give French trainer Freddie Head a unique Breeders' Cup double.

The sparkling bay filly burst through late on the inside to take the title from her male rivals.

...

"After a nice trip, just before the last corner, I was waiting for a chance," said Goldikova's rider Olivier Peslier. "When that hole opened, she jumped up and just kept going. She's very good."

...

Despite his disappointment, [the second-place horse's trainer Rick Dutrow] gave Goldikova her due.

"We tip our hat to the filly. She's a freak," he said.

It's a nice treat when a filly smokes the boys. I remember watching the Kentucky Derby in 1980 when filly Genuine Risk whipped the colts and won the coveted roses.

Wanna know something else? I didn't have to Google that... I really do remember it. I know, filly Winning Colors also won the Derby a few years later, but by then I was in college and not quite as horse-crazy as I had been as a starry-eyed seventh-grader.

Received in today's mail

OFFICIAL JURY NOTIFICATION

GREETINGS -- You are hereby notified by Grayson County District Clerk Tracey Powers that you are being considered for jury service.
---------------------------------------

When I logged onto the web site that the card directs me to, I find that the fact that I no longer live in Grayson County to be one of those little exemptions that will keep me off the jury this time around. We moved one county to the west when we moved to Ballyhoo.

[silently murmuring a thankful prayer]

Guess what I got to do today?

I learned how to weld!

I had spoken previously to our ag shop teacher and he was rather excited to find out that I wanted to learn how to weld. He invited me to come into the ag shop during my conference period and he and the students would teach me.

It was messy today, but I'm hoping to get better. I'd like to make Big Art someday, and learning to work metal will certainly be a useful skill to have.

And it's fun to melt steel. Wicked cool, even.

I had forgotten...

...just how much I love MTV's Headbanger's Ball...

until just now. I am watching it and remembering just how much I love super hard rock music. I don't listen to it often because I really don't have an appropriate outlet, but when I do get the chance, it's immensely satisfying.

I don't want to know what that says about me.

Solidarity

reference here

And there's our answer

The institutional church decided to leave things the way they currently are, with a volunteer. I'm not surprised, and a little relieved in a way. I would've done it, but I'm not disappointed that we're not going to have to be beholden to a committee for our livelihood.

Rick has an interview with a nearby distribution plant this week. The postal job he has had for the past year and a half just doesn't have a chance of becoming more than the merest part-time in the foreseeable future, thanks to the retarded way the USPS runs things (yeah, we want government doing health care, too). We've just GOT to have another full-time income or we won't make it.

And I know that it'll all work out in the way it's supposed to.

Life with her is unbearably hard right now. Just so you know. I'm not sure how much longer any of us can last like this.

And I still know that it'll all work out in the way it's supposed to. And it's definitely not boring.

Let's see... according to BlogDog, the entire phrase goes something like, "May you live in interesting times and come to the attention of important people." Hmmm... important people... that could mean a lot of different things.

I have often said that if my mugshot hasn't been flashed on The Smoking Gun today, then I'm having a good day so far. By that criteria, today was good... because even though she screamed at me to go to hell, told me she wished I were dead, and told me repeatedly that I am NOT her mother, I did not lose my temper... thus, I did not end up with my mugshot on The Smoking Gun.

We must find the silver lining, no?

Thee boy, he ees seeeck

He spent the wee hours last night puking, then was fairly okay through the day. We put him to bed and he woke up with major vertigo and a low-grade fever and hallucinations (the monster was in the net and wouldn't go away).

So I get ANOTHER get-out-of-jail-free pass, since it appears that he and I will be up for a goodly portion of the night. He can't lie flat due to the vertigo. His head aches, his stomach aches. He's miserable and a little confused. He's sleepy but can't sleep because of the hallucinations.

This will be fun.

I've put him in the recliner in hopes he'll be able to sleep slightly upright.

If I had to guess, I'd guess that he has a virus affecting his inner ear, causing him to feel disoriented and spinny.

UPDATE: He's sitting upright now and singing along with a commercial. This bodes well.

UPDATE2: Not so fast. He woke up in a panic several times during the night. He IS sleeping soundly right now, though. I'm hoping it was just a passing virus and that I won't have to take him to the doctor.

[sigh]

UPDATE3, Monday noon: First sign of true perk-up -- I made myself some baked catfish for lunch and he came traipsing into the kitchen for a bite. He finished most of it himself. That was probably a very good choice; catfish is extremely mild and not the slightest bit fishy-smelling or fishy-tasting. Anyhoo, that's the first thing he's eaten in a day and a half.

So talented...

Pavakitti serenades us yet again:


An appropriate aria when it's so chilly? He must have been inspired when I tried to pet him with my icy-cold hands.

I love La Boheme. So tragic... so beautiful.

Skippin' out

Isaac spent most of the wee hours puking, which scores us a "get out of jail free" pass on a Sunday morning. At the moment he seems to be stabilized, as he's comatose in front of the Boomerang network watching Popeye cartoons.

I have finished Frank Viola's Pagan Christianity and am about halfway through his Reimagining Church. They're quite provocative and, I have to say, are stating some of the things I have been thinking for literally YEARS already.

It's also interesting that we're staring down the barrel of yet another institutional church staff position.

I was speaking to the pastor of said institutional church a couple of weeks ago and decided to casually drop the conversational bomb of mentioning my latest reading materials. I was surprised and pleased to note that he is reading exactly the same books and even had some suggestions for others along the same lines. I smell something interesting coming down the pike.

I like interesting.

The fabled "May you live in interesting times" curse has never really bothered me that much. Yes, I gripe about my "interesting" life because it's not perfect or smooth or even much fun sometimes. But it's definitely interesting. And I'd way rather have interesting than boring.

The way I get around the fear and the loathing is this -- if I really make an effort to separate my "self" from the situation and prevent it from becoming entangled and intertwined with the situation, I'm much happier. If, however, I take it personally that my bipolar daughter tells me to PISS OFF and that she HATES THIS F*CKING FAMILY, then I end up crazy or depressed or both.

She ran away yesterday afternoon and none of us noticed. She was supposed to be doing yard work to earn the money to pay us back for some serious debt she incurred (phone bill) and came in a little later with a couple of backpacks and a teddy bear. "Did you even know I was gone?" she asked me. I looked at her blankly.

"Why did you come back?" I said.

"The person I went to see wasn't home," she said. She had calmed down considerably.

I happen to know who she made the "secret runaway pact" with, and I know that the entire idea is beyond ridiculous, so I'm not particularly ruffled. There are perqs to being in-the-know with all her friends at school. Plus, the entire situation reminds me very much of the typical four-year-old who "runs away" and comes back a little later when she gets hungry or decides it's not such a great idea after all.

Besides, I "ran away" when I was her age. We all survived it then. We'll survive this now.

Doesn't mean I'm not worried. Heck, I worry a lot about where this is going and where she's going to end up... but I also have to keep reminding myself that I am not the architect of who she has turned out to be. I just have to try to help her get through adolescence intact... which I will admit to you is no easy task, but is much less onerous than believing I must somehow re-craft her personality. That I cannot do.

As for skipping church, I don't think my attitude toward it now is one of "running away." If anything, it's surprising to me how difficult the whole idea is. It's ever-so-much safer to join an institution and play the game the way I've always played it. That is even more tempting than I ever expected.

We'll see what comes down the pike. I believe with all my heart that God takes all things, even situations He doesn't approve of, and works them together for His purposes. We'll just continue to "do the next thing" (as Elisabeth Elliot always urges) and see where He takes us. I may not be terribly organized or even-tempered, but I think God can usually count on me to be willing to jump into the Unknown.

Usually.


UPDATE: Isaac puked again. Sunday Funday!

Massachusetts is backwards and messed up

Police arrest man for killing a skwerl and cooking it for dinner

LOWELL -- Police say a Lowell man is facing charges after admitting to police that he chased and caught a squirrel in the backyard of his Walker Street home, bashed it to death against a tree, and then began cooking it with a torch, police said.

Police were called to 416 Walker St., yesterday at 3:36 p.m., after someone called police and reported that a man was killing a squirrel with a blowtorch, police said.

Officers said they arrived and found Odum Chaloeurn, 48, who lives in the home, in his backyard, with a dead squirrel in a makeshift fireplace.

Chaloeurn told police the caller was wrong.

He said he had chased and caught the squirrel himself, then swung it by its tail, smashing it against a tree until it was dead, police said.

He then began cooking the squirrel with a blowtorch, because he planned to eat it, police said.

Chaloeurn was charged with animal cruelty, and was expected to be released on bail last night.

And they can't even leave a guy to eat a meal in peace. Puhleeze. Whadda buncha commies.

Doormat at Isaac's piano lesson

(You can buy one like it here)

This kitteh just doesn't stop!

I'm telling you... you just won't find a more talented kitteh than ours! He not only can sing Puccini's Turandot, but also Verdi's Rigoletto. What will he sing next?

Just sayin'

MY MESSIAHDOESN'T SUPPORT ABORTION by GradualDazzle
See other bumper sticker designs On www.Zazzle.com

If you don't read anything else political this month, you NEED to read this

Wright 101 by Stanley Kurtz

It looks like Jeremiah Wright was just the tip of the iceberg. Not only did Barack Obama savor Wright’s sermons, Obama gave legitimacy — and a whole lot of money — to education programs built around the same extremist anti-American ideology preached by Reverend Wright. And guess what? Bill Ayers is still palling around with the same bitterly anti-American Afrocentric ideologues that he and Obama were promoting a decade ago. All this is revealed by a bit of digging, combined with a careful study of documents from the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, the education foundation Obama and Ayers jointly led in the late 1990s.

Go read the whole thing. Please. And send it to everyone you know.

Tired Eyes

This is a photo that one of my students took of me last Friday night at the Homecoming football game.



I think my eyes are doing their best to remain open... I was soooooo tired by the time this photo was snapped.

Kitteh Opera

Pavakitti!

And he really rocks the Goth black lipstick look, no? I always thought Dude was a rather handsome fellow anyway, but talented? Just amazing.

Powers of Ten

I had totally forgotten about this video until I saw it over at Laurence Simon's place:





Cool, no?

Fair warning

Seen over at this place.

These are the guys Obama wants to negotiate with

Hanged for being a Christian in Iran

A month ago, the Iranian parliament voted in favour of a draft bill, entitled "Islamic Penal Code", which would codify the death penalty for any male Iranian who leaves his Islamic faith. Women would get life imprisonment. The majority in favour of the new law was overwhelming: 196 votes for, with just seven against.

For one woman living in London, however, the Iranian parliamentary vote cannot be brushed aside. Rashin Soodmand is a 29-year-old Iranian Christian. Her father, Hossein Soodmand, was the last man to be executed in Iran for apostasy, the "crime" of abandoning one's religion. He had converted from Islam to Christianity in 1960, when he was 13 years old. Thirty years later, he was hanged by the Iranian authorities for that decision.

Today, Rashin's brother, Ramtin, is also held in a prison cell in Mashad, Iran's holiest city. He was arrested on August 21. He has not been charged but he is a Christian. And Rashin fears that, just as her father was the last man to be executed for apostasy in Iran, her brother may become one of the first to be killed under Iran's new law.

Not surprisingly, Rashin is desperately worried. "I am terribly anxious about him," she explains. "Even though my brother is not an apostate, because he has never been a Muslim – my father raised us all as Christians – I don't think he is safe. They assume that if you are Iranian, you must be Muslim."

Public Service Message That May Already Be Moot

This weekend's "I have absolutely no idea what purpose this serves" story

From Ananova:

Man writes with tears

A Chinese man can write calligraphy with water he shoots from his eyes.

Ru Anting, 56, of Luoyang, Henan province, sucks up the water with his nose and then sprays it through his tear ducts.

He recently demonstrated his skill at the Lotus World park in Shanshui city, Guangdong, where he wrote four characters, 'Fu Ru Dong Hai' ('Fortune as vast as the sea'), on a board covered with red paper.

Ru told the China News Network that he discovered his unusual talent as a child while swimming in the river.

"Sometimes I would swallow water while swimming, and once I accidentally discovered the water I swallowed could be shot out through my eyes. My friends were all shocked to see it," he said.

But it wasn't until the 1990s, when Ru lost his job in a local fertilizer factory after more than 20 years, that he began to develop his unusual talent.

"At that time I started to train myself and hone my eye spraying skills," he explained.

After three years of intensive training, he found he could shoot water accurately up to 10ft from his eyes at will.

You're welcome.

OU vs. TX gameday

It's a barn-burner of a game. Can't stay online long... must return to couch and consume chips and dip and scream at the refs.

UPDATE: Well, that was painful. I guess there's always next year. Congrats, Prochein Amy!

Homecoming Tradition!!

Ahh, the season of the Homecoming Mum has come and... just as quickly... gone again.

My students back in Des Moines could NOT believe that such a tradition existed, and to tell you the truth, I had kind-of assumed it had gone by the wayside in the intervening years.

Welp, it didn't. At least, not around these here parts.

Crazy, huh? But it's a humongous deal, for guys AND girls.

I feel a little bummed that I didn't get one for Martha and Isaac this week, but I was in charge of the ceremony and all my energies were focused on getting that done (as well as figuring out my costumes for each Spirit Day). Next year I'll do better. I might even try to make sure Alice has one for HER school, whichever one that's going to be. She goes to whichever school has the right special-ed teacher that she needs... this year, it's a small school seven miles away from Ballyhoo.

The ceremony went off without a hitch (PTL!) and our team won the game in the last thirty seconds. I chose not to go to the homecoming dance afterward; I was just too exhausted. All in all, though, it was a success and I feel pretty good about it.

I've been fraternizing with the enemy...

My pal Prochein Amy is a terrific gal, despite being one of those University of Texas Longhorn types. A few weeks ago she asked me to do a guest post over at her place to get the whole OU/TX weekend thing going. As she was gracious enough to post mine in its entirety without snarky commentary, I shall afford her the same respect.

Hello from Amy, she who does not speak of college loyalties with Kris, except for now. Kris guest posted on my blog about OU. I wanted a different viewpoint on my usual pregame summary of our opposing team. She has asked me to guest post in return.

The Texas mascot is the longhorn cattle, which are tough and strong. We are currently on our 14th Bevo., who has been our official mascot since the end of 2006. Bevo is present at all home games, a few away games, and he will be at the Red River Shootout on Saturday.

Based on the longhorn, the Texas fans show support with the "Hook'em Horns" hand sign that looks like the longhorns horns. Fingers are stretched wide to avoid being confused with the sign of the devil. (tehe)

Burnt orange and white are Texas colors, with the original color being bright orange. Since orange tends to fade, burnt orange was selects. During WWII the cost of dyes went up, so it was back to bright orange. Daryl Royal brought back the burnt orange in 60s, but Mack Brown brought it back to life. Before Mack pushed the true burnt orange and encouraged fans to "Come Early...Be Loud...Stay Late...Wear Orange!", most people leaned towards the white. I look good in burnt orange, so no complaints here!

Texas's oldest rival is the A&M Aggies, but now they are more like an annoyance. In more recent history, OU has been the bane of our existence. Kris explained about the Red River Shootout on my blog. It is unique to be in a neutral site and it tends to give a more even playing field. The stadium is split at the 50 yard line, with half going to each side. It is amazing to see the crimson/burnt orange line down the middle. Also as Kris mentioned, this game can have unexpected outcomes. I have mixed emotions about going to this game since the walk back to the car is even longer when you have lost.

I did not attend the University of Texas, but my husband did. He has been a fan since he was 4 years old and can remember listening to the games on the radio. What initially "hooked" me most is the traditions surrounding the game. The band, the cheers, the songs, the spirit and all the traditions. Over time, I have grown to love the game of football itself. So technically, you could say I am really a fan of Texas Football, but I get excited when Texas excels in other areas. Which they tend to do quite a bit.

The game this Saturday will be very interesting since OU is ranked #1 and Texas is #5. Both teams have great quarterbacks. The spread is only one touchdown in OU's favor. Not much of a spread, so even the Vegas bookies know it will be close.

Thanks to Kris for equal time and for not holding my Texas loyalties against me. I love reading her blog and can easily get past her crazy OU-ness.

Hippie Day, Crazy Hair Day

This week is Spirit Week at school, since it's Homecoming, so every single day is a different theme day. Monday was Pajama Day. You won't get a photo of that because we didn't get any. Yesterday was Peace-Out Day (hippie):


And today was Crazy Hair Day. I decided to go subtle for this one:


Get it? It's "V V" which is my school's initials. I know, it isn't much. I was in a hurry this morning and Martha was driving me insane.

Tomorrow's Western Day.

In an e-mail from my Uncle Carroll

New Stock Market & Business Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo@ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. (It was difficult to find in my Thesaurus ...)

Something beautiful for an ordinary Tuesday

"Ancient Sound, Abstract on Black"
Paul Klee, 1925

(notice that Klee made use of pixelation before there was ever such a thing as pixelation!)

Spirit Week Has Arrived!

This is Homecoming Week for Ballyhoo High School, which means every day is a different Spirit Day. Today was Pajama Day, and I dutifully put my hair in sponge rollers and donned my Cow Jumped Over The Moon jammies and my sheepskin-lined slippers.

Tomorrow is Hippie Day. I'm going to wear a loud green-and-yellow kaftan, a fro-wig with a headband, some Birkenstock-style sandals, and some long beaded necklaces. Peace out, brother.

Wednesday is Crazy Hair Day. I have not yet decided what I will do, but it will likely involve that special punk-rock spiking product I keep for such occasions.

Thursday is Western Day. This is the most difficult one for me. I did actually purchase some nice ostrich Justin Ropers on eBay last year, but I don't have a hat. I should probably find one at Goodwill or something.

Friday is, of course, Green & White Day. I have lots of options here.

No pictures today -- pajamas are boring and I didn't think I looked all that blogworthy. Besides, it's the same pajamas I wore last year, and there's a great photo of that on my Facebook. Tomorrow, though, definitely.

I'm sorry...

Ever notice that when you're watching some show with Canadians, they pronounce the word "sorry" as "SORE-ee" instead of the US version which sounds like "SAH-ree"? It's even more of a dead giveaway than the ubiquitous "eh." Most professional actors get the "eh" trained out of them, but the SORE-ee is kind-of stuck.

Well, apparently now lots of Canadians can say that they're SORE-ee without fear of legal repercussions...

Ontario to make it easier to apologize for mistakes

TORONTO - It will soon be easier to say you're sorry in Ontario.

The government plans to adopt an act that will allow everyone to apologize without having to worry about being sued. Sources say Attorney General Chris Bentley and Health Minister David Caplan will on Tuesday announce the adoption of the Apology Act, initially introduced by Liberal backbencher David Orazietti.

Orazietti tabled his private member's bill last April, saying he hoped to encourage more people to offer sincere regrets for their mistakes.

The bill would allow doctors, nurses and police to apologize for their errors without worrying about whether their statements will be used against them in civil court.

While the law would apply to all Ontario residents, it's expected to have a special significance in health care, since professionals are generally advised to not apologize for fear those statements would be used against them in court.

British Columbia, Saskatchewan and Manitoba have similar apology laws, as do 35 U.S. states.

Bentley has said he wanted to look into the ramifications of adopting the legislation, and both opposition parties have said they like the idea.


The Canadian Press, 2008

You know, it has never occurred to me that a nurse might actually APOLOGIZE for taking six tries to put in an IV needle... but they never do, do they? I wouldn't sue them, but it would be nice to hear an "Oh geez, I am so sorry, I know that hurts."

Instead they keep smacking your arm to "bring up the vein", leaving it red and inflamed, or they wiggle the needle around in there hoping to strike oil or something.

I'm still going to sing the praises of the folks at North Texas Hospital who absolutely were the BOMB. I was dreading surgery and fearing the worst, having experienced the truly awful in the past... but was pleasantly surprised by the posh treatment and the kind, attentive care I received there. That's where I'll go from now on, whether it's an ER visit or a scheduled procedure.

BOOMer Sooner!

I don't gloat much over a Sooner victory over TCU because of my sister's divided loyalties... but I despise Baylor and am delighted to note that OU is seriously dismantling them at this very moment in Waco. It's already 21-0 in the first quarter and OU is inside the five yard line nearing another score.

Touchdown OU. AGAIN. Forty-one seconds left in the first quarter.

UPDATE: 35-14 at the half. A couple of weird calls from the refs, but as lopsided as this game is, I don't think I mind very much.

Juaquin Iglesias is spectacular, and have I mentioned that I am crushing on QB Sam Bradford? What a cutie -- in that Tony Romo and Michael Phelps sort of way.

UPDATE: 42-14 with 11:42 left in the third quarter.

UPDATE: I decided I wasn't worried, so I went to take a nap. Final is 49-17. Smackdown.

More evidence of just how far I'll go to show school spirit

Today was "Make Them See Stars -- Dress Like Your Favorite Celebrity" day.

I've been no-so-secretly in love with Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise for lo! these many years. I didn't really want to shave my head, however, so a latex bald-cap and some spirit gum had to suffice.

And this photo makes me realize even further that my foundation garments are SEVERELY lacking. They're the only thing I haven't bothered to purchase in a new size, and I can see now that that is a big mistake.

One of my main foundation-garment problems is that I had a reduction mammoplasty several years ago and the plastic surgeon did a truly terrible job of it. I won't go into any detail except to say that the shape is now completely WRONG. Manufacturers of foundation garments simply do not make their products to fit what that weirdo left me behind. My only option has been the very simple "sports" variety -- which do absolutely nothing other than keep things loosely in place.

I gotta explore my options now, though... yikes.

Great... now I have even MORE guilt...

Tomorrow, Dude comes home from the vet.

No, he wasn't being fixed. He was fixed months ago.

I really didn't want to have to break down and do this, but he really has left me with no options.

We had to have him de-clawed.

[hanging head in guilty shame]

I know, I know. It's cruel. I feel awful. But even though I picked out the new furniture with him in mind, he has still managed to leave marks on the arm of the recliner. I won't spend that much money to have it ruined.

He'll just have to get over it.

[sigh]

I am really sorry... I know there are cat-lovers out there cringing and judging... but it's just how it had to be.

Please forgive me. We really are rather good to him, and he's a sleek, fat, happy kitteh. It's just that now he'll also be a velveted kitteh.

There's a new item on the school lunch menu!

Schoolchildren in north Cornwall will be given the chance to tuck into a dish of squirrel on Friday

Chef Gareth Eddy from Da Boes restaurant in Wadebridge (UK) will be giving the pupils a taste of the wilder and more unusual side of food preparation.

The Kids Cook School is part of the Boscastle Festival of Food Art and Crafts, which starts on Thursday.

"Squirrel is real food, it's readily available and it does taste good," said Mr Eddy.

"I can understand why some people might be a little squeamish, but when you think about it, there are an awful lot of grey squirrels around and many gardeners would be glad to be rid of them," said Mr Eddy, who will also be bringing along shark steaks, local venison and mussels.

Yummy! Now THIS is what they ought to be serving in the cafeteria. It's cheap and plentiful and nutritious... what's not to love?