Fred Phelps Rickrolled!!!

Just saw CGH Tweeting this and had to spread the laughter...

San Francisco's Answer to Westboro Baptist Church

You might think that it's NSFW, from the title, but really it's just plain awesomeness and not even a little NSFW except for the Westboro creeps' signs that say the word "F*GS" on them. It's about time somebody did something like this, and if the WBC creeps ever come anywhere near where I live, I'll do the same thing, I swear.

Business purchase

Just made a bidness-related purchase... I went to RubberStamps-Dot-Net and ordered a stamp to use on the back of my cards. It has my e-mail address and my Etsy address on it. I decided NOT to put my phone number because I'd rather deal with people online and not on the celly. I'm not a talker.

I called my bidness "Dazzling Designs." It's not wonderful, but I figure it relates to my e-mail address well enough AND incorporates the blingy-ness of the cards.

I have already made some dough on these things... not a LOT of dough, but it's coming in AND I'm getting great feedback. I would really like for this to take off. It's something I can do and I like doing it enough to keep doing it.

I may look into some local craft fair events; these are cheap enough and easy enough to produce that it just might be a pretty good sell at one of those kinds of places.

Relax, man. It's Caturday.

Dude is in one of his prized snoozing spots, curled up on top of my purse on the floor. It's the perfect way to spend a frigid Saturday morning.

Burrrrrn

Can I just say that Gabrielle Anwar's character Fiona in Burn Notice just might be my personal hero? I love love love love love her. What a terrific TV show, too. If you haven't caught this cheeky spy thriller on the USA network, you're missing out. The whole family loves it.

To the oars!

The rain continues to come down in waves, accompanied by the occasional thunderclap (which seems odd for January, but I suppose anything's possible). It's a cold, copious rain and it isn't accompanied by the lovely rain smell that I adore so much because it's just too darn cold out. Rick took his suitcase to work with him, because they may close down the Red River bridge if it ices over, and he'll be stuck at the casino hotel. Poor baby.

In more jubilant news, I made my first Etsy sales today. Yippeeee!!! I ain't quittin' my day job yet, of course, but if I could supplement the income this way, I wouldn't be forced to go get a third job to overcome the deficit left behind by his long period of unemployment. I would so much rather make money doing something I *love* doing, like making these cards, than by flipping burgers down at the convenience store on the interstate (which I *will* do if I need to -- nothing wrong with honest employment).

Bathroom humor

Met my Aunty Ada at Braum's in Ardmore last night because her youngest son, my 14-year-old cousin Daniel, was going to go with me and my art students to the Amon Carter museum in Fort Worth today and we needed a place to meet and hand-off. We love Braum's burgers and ice cream, so it was a logical choice.

After our marvelous repast, I excused myself to the restroom and closed the stall. I then suddenly realized that the feet going past the other side of the stall door were decidedly masculine in nature. HORRORS! I realized I had just entered the wrong restroom and I was now trapped inside. I patiently waited for the other occupants to exit, but as soon as one would leave, another would enter. I had no recourse.

I texted my cousin out in the restaurant: "Pls help me! I came into the wrong bathroom and now I am trapped!" Then I waited quietly, hoping everyone would PLEASE LEAVE and let me exit gracefully.

Finally my cousin and my son came in and waited for the other man to leave. After he did, Isaac said, "Mom?"

"I'm here," I said. "Is it safe to leave?"

"Yep."

I exited as quickly and quietly as I could. Aunty Ada and Unka were shaking with laughter at the table. As was I.

Life's always entertaining.

For sale at Etsy

Click here to buy it, or e-mail me at gradualdazzle-at-google's mail program-dot-com with custom or personalized ideas. There are 58 different cards in my shop to choose from!!

It's Caturday!

I ordered a Random Box o' Crap from Woot the other day and looky what came in the mail today! A kitteh with laser-beam eyes! How cool is that? I love Woot.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a terrible mom

Until I hear something like this from one of my students. He's a senior and had to get a schedule change recently because he had to drop off the varsity basketball team. He was getting some heat about this because some were assuming it was laziness. He hadn't said anything to anyone about it, though, because the real reason was that he had had to get a third job in order to pay for his mom's rehab.

I really don't have any words.

Dialogue

ME: You gotta go outside. It's raining, and the smell is incredible.

HIM: Oh, yeah. That IS your favorite smell, isn't it? Wet dirt?

ME: I don't care what it actually is. I just know that that smell is what heaven is going to smell like for me.

[going outside onto the front porch]

[breathing in the rain smell]

ME:

HIM: Did we just have a moment?

ME: No. Go away and let me smell in peace.

Cards! Cards for sale!

Y'all head on over to my Etsy storefront and buy my cards!

Handmade cards

I'm going to give Etsy a try, selling handmade cards and watercolor items. As soon as my storefront is set up, I'll toss out a link. The above is a sample of what you'll find there.

How do you pronounce "Uranus" ?

I've always wondered, myself...

How do you pronounce "Uranus" ?

Uranus is the planet with the funny name and the odd orientation. So, when you say the word 'Uranus' do you stress the first syllable or the second? Or, perhaps you do as Dr. Pamela Gay suggests, in order to avoid "being made fun of by any small schoolchildren … when in doubt, don't emphasize anything and just say 'Uranus.' And then run, quickly."

Home again, home again -- jiggety-jig

Miss Alice came home from the hospital today -- Praise The Lord! -- and is resting peacefully on the sofa. She will not be going back to school this week, nor will she go next week. The doctors don't want her to do too much too soon... no P.E., etc. ... so she'll just stay home for a while and get fully recovered from this crazy ordeal. Thankfully, because she's in a life-skills special ed classroom, she won't get behind in her classes. They'll just pick up where she left off.

Thank you again for all your prayers and support and kind words. I'm no hero -- we just do the next thing, as Elisabeth Elliot always says -- and I am deeply grateful that this wasn't some horrible metastatic tumor. Nothing like the "C" word to re-order your priorities, right? I used to be all worried about some little something-or-other, but when you dodge the big one, you're reminded that the little something-or-other isn't really that big a deal.

The Lord is good.

Haiti Cherie

My thoughts and prayers are with the dear, precious people of Haiti tonight. I am deeply concerned about my friends, and I have no way to find out about them. But God knows their needs, and He knows how to provide for them. If He needs me to help Him, I'm ready.

Bondye bene ou, Ayiti cherie.

Out of surgery

They decided to forego the extra CT scan this morning and just get in there and take out the nasty mass. If things looked bad, they'd do another CT tomorrow and figure out what to do from there.

So she went in to surgery at about 10am or so. At about 11:30am, the surgeon emerged and told us a strange tale of discovery.

When they opened her up, there was all this old blood. That's odd, they thought. When they got further in, they realized that what they were looking at was NOT a tumor at all. It was her left ovary. It apparently had done what they call "torsion," which just means it twisted around on itself, strangulated, swelled up huge (at least as big as a ruby-red grapefruit), and had begun disintegrating. Obviously that ovary was gone, so they took the whole thing out. The other one was swollen, so they biopsied it and found it to still be okay, so they did a "pexy" on it (which just means they tacked it down with a stitch to prevent it from twisting on itself like the first one). They cleaned all the yuck out and closed her up (a big incision, from her navel all the way down).

They moved us to the surgery floor, which is a newer and wider-open section of the hospital. She's resting and waking up intermittently, having some chicken soup and apple juice, deep-breathing and turning. They want to get her up and have her walk a little bit this evening.

She received a couple of balloon arrangements and several stuffed animals from well-wishers at church and at school, as well as a few cards, which she read aloud. She loves hearing from everyone and when I tell her that I've gotten an e-mail from someone, she is always delighted to hear it. She's an easy keeper, this kid... if it were Martha, I'd agree with Charles, who left a comment that she'd be complaining about the food soon. Alice, though -- Alice just doesn't have a complaint in her little body. She inspires me.

Life's never quite what we expect, is it?

All week last week, Alice had been growing more and more listless. She was severely constipated and had no energy or appetite. Finally on Friday evening she could no longer stand unaided, and we felt it was severe enough to take her to the ER.

I decided it would be prudent to take her in to Children's Hospital in Dallas, since that's where she's participating in the drug trials for a new seizure medication and where all her doctors are. We arrived at the ER at about 1:30AM and began the mind-numbing wait for things to happen.

The nurses manually removed her constipation issues (those women deserve a huge bonus for having to do THAT) and one of the doctors on hand thought it might be a good idea to do an ultrasound of her belly, just to make sure she didn't have some kind of obstruction.

They also admitted her overnight for observation, just to make sure she was going to be able to eat and go to the bathroom.

Well, they saw something weird on the ultrasound. So they made her swallow a couple of bottles of lemonade with contrast fluid -- which took about four hours because she just didn't have any ability to eat or drink -- and then put her through the CT scanner.

Turns out, she has a massive tumor on her right ovary -- fills up her whole pelvic cavity. It is blocking intestinal movement, possibly even strangulating it somewhat, and causing her to be anemic. They've already given her two units of blood to try to combat the anemia, and the tumor is coming out tomorrow sometime.

They don't know yet if it's benign, but statistically most of these kinds of ovarian tumors are benign. They'll check it, obviously, and we'll go from there.

Tonight they're going to do another CT, this time on her chest cavity, just to be sure there isn't more going on elsewhere.

Mom came and brought me her laptop to use tonight, and Rick came and brought me a few essentials from home (like the cell phone charger! hallelujah!), so we're all set. She's in the best place she could be to deal with stuff like this.



Alice, in her hospital bed.

Here, she's getting a unit of blood... B Positive, appropriately enough! Alice's personal message to the world (Be Positive!) also happens to be her blood type.

Thanks for all your prayers as we deal with this new curve ball in her life. She's dealing with it very well, and I'm in good spirits too. Might as well be, right? I'll let y'all know via my Twitter feed whenever there's new news.

Deep freeze

The low tonight here in Ballyhoo is forecast to be 9 above.

If we were still in Des Moines, I would gripe (of course) but it would be surviveable. Heck, we lived through 25 below several times. As an aside, did you know that if you take a glass of water outside when it's 25 below and toss the water into the air, it goes POOF! and becomes a clap of snow? Instantly? Well, it does. I tried it.

Anyway, 9 above isn't that big a deal, right?

Well, in Ballyhoo, it is. Our houses here are just not set up to deal with that kind of cold. For one thing, when we lived in Des Moines, we had a basement in which our plumbing pipes resided. They weren't going to freeze up. Here, though, our pipes are just coming up through a pier-and-beam foundation, out in the air. It just doesn't generally get so cold that there's a danger of them freezing.

Until they do.

We've got all the faucets dripping and all the cabinets open, in the hopes that we'll still be able to flush the toilet and take a shower tomorrow morning. The space heaters are cranked up (yes, Virginia, we have a CO detector in good working order) and the kids are all sleeping downstairs in the rooms that are warm(er).

I can gripe, of course, but I still think of my pals in Des Moines who, at this particular moment, are registering 0.5 degrees. That's a HALF A DEGREE ABOVE ZERO. You want that half a degree. It's a psychological thing.

Bundles of joy

Phyllo Mushroom Bundles

You are NOT going to believe how good these are. I decided I'd give phyllo a try after I read this recipe, and I was not disappointed.

Neither was my husband, who declared, "You can make these anytime you like, but just make sure you make enough for both of us."

Holy cow, they are tasty. I used baby portabella mushrooms, garlic and basil, and I left off the parmesan just because I didn't really feel like adding it.

UN. BE. FREEKIN. LIEVABLE.

It's the first thing from Pioneer Woman that I've actually made. I still read her blog, even though I hate her and am insanely jealous of her.

The house is now redolent with garlic and portabella and toasty buttery flaky stuff. You wish you lived here.

Stupidity Kills

Just not always fast enough, unfortunately.


NY Killer Tripped on Baggy Pants, Plunged to His Death

...his low-slung pants fell to his ankles, tripping him and sending him falling three stories to his death, authorities said.

A trend I really, really never understood. And I'm pretty hip to most trendy stuff that comes along -- even if I don't adopt it, I understand it. But the sagging thing I just never quite got. Thankfully it has mostly disappeared from MY high school, where the "gangsta" look came and went pretty fleetingly and where such things just aren't tolerated in the dress code anyway.

Go Frogs!!!

Horned Frogs, Broncos ready to meet in Fiesta Bowl

My sister is a TCU alum, but even if she weren't, I'd totally be rooting for the Horned Frogs in this fight. I think they got the shaft during the season thanks to the BCS crappola. I would SO have loved to see them whup the shorthorns, or even the Bama boys. I think they coulda done it.

Since we're on the topic of pointy-ended leather ball, how 'bout my Cowboys? Huh? W00t w00t!! 24-0 smackdown of Philadelphia? Yeehah! Next week's re-match should be interesting. We have GOT to win a playoff game and shake off this ancient December curse.

Ringing in the new year?

Saw this article over at the Beeb and got all excited about the possibilities:

Music therapy may help cut tinnitus noise levels

It is thought that around 1-3% of the population have chronic ringing in their ears which is significant enough to reduce their overall quality of life.

Writing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the researchers said although the cause of tinnitus remains unknown, it has been shown that the part of the brain that processes sounds is frequently disrupted in people with the condition.

The theory behind the new technique is that removing the spectrum of noise associated with tinnitus from the music reduces activity in the brain relating to that frequency, alleviating the condition.

Hmm. I sure do hope they find something that's practical and do-able to treat tinnitus. It's a booger-bear of a problem.

Trying to ferret out the origins and practicable treatments for my own inner-ear issues, I am discovering that a monster headache invariably arrives just before I have an episode, and that if I take a couple of Excedrin early enough, I can usually prevent the episode. Just wondering aloud here, but I wonder if it's some kind of migraine thing that I get periodically, or if perhaps there's a relation between Meniere's and migraines...? Dunno.

UPDATE: Of course, there is always Google to the rescue. According to a web site called "dizziness-and-balance.com", Meniere's and migraine might be two sides of the same coin for some people. I'd be willing to bet on that being my issue precisely. At any rate, it's been easy to control with OTC meds (Excedrin, specifically), if I catch it in time. Heaven help me if I don't, though. Or if I use something besides Excedrin. I think it's the caffeine that's added into Excedrin that helps, since I don't regularly consume caffeinated drinks anymore.

Caturday post

Fallin' down on the job, I am. Caturday is nearly over.



Dude has decided that my purse on the floor is the perfect snoozing spot.

He's been such a snoozy, lovey kitty-boy lately.

There's a cute little calico that has been sitting on our porch lately, calling him. I've tried to explain to her that not only is he unable to fulfill her obvious wishes, she's being rather forward and trampy by parking her cute self on our porch and hollering for him. She doesn't really listen to me, though. Little skank.

No more snow

Well, I can't actually predict that there won't be any more snow this winter here in Ballyhoo... I *wish* I could say such a thing, but I can't... but I *can* say that there won't be any more snow blowing in under the back door thanks to BlogDog, who took pity on me after reading this post.



Hey, thanks, dude! I LOL'd, of course, and my kids were all, like, "Hey, it's that thing from TV! The Twin Draft Guard! Awesome!", but it works beautifully and you have saved the day.

HGTV's 2010 Dream Home

This year it's just outside Albuquerque, New Mexico in a community called Sandia Park.

I'm going to be nice and provide the link here for you to enter the contest, but I'm going to be honest -- I WANT THIS PLACE. I love my old house in my tiny Texas town, but if I won this place, I wouldn't even bat an eyelash at the notion of moving to New Mexico. If you win it, I want visiting rights. Actually, if you win it and I don't, you might want to watch your back. Because I WANT THIS PLACE.

Yum!

May I highly recommend the Barefoot Bubbly Moscato Spumante? It is divine, truly. And inexpensive. Two things I like very much.

I'm using the rest of the bottle to make Champagne Chicken in the crockpot:

Pan-sear a bunch of chicken thighs (boneless, skinless, you can buy them at Sam's Club in a bag from Tyson) in butter, then put them into the crockpot. Make a roux with the remaining butter, then add champagne and stir til it gets thick. Add thyme, cracked black pepper and kosher salt, then pour it over the chicken in the crockpot.

It's simmering on high right now and I'm expecting to enjoy it for lunch later. I'll let y'all know if it turns out. I sorta made it up as I went along.

UPDATE: The chicken itself was very tender and yummy. The sauce would be improved by using chicken stock along with the champagne. I'll try that next time.