Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Dazed

I've wondered... is there an etymological kinship between the word "dazed" and "dazzling"? There has to be. Today, "gradual dazzle" seems befitting. I guess it's a reaction to stress and change, but I can feel myself walking in that mental fog that I occasionally find myself in. As I've gotten older, I've recognized it as my mind's involuntary shut-off mechanism when things get complicated or difficult.

My prayers lately are mostly just inwardly guttural pleas for peace and relief from the war against my flesh and the unending pursuit of self-discipline which expertly evades me. Sometimes I just can't muster any more than that... clinging to God's leg like a terrified toddler, depending on the folds of his robe to hide me from everything and everyone.
And have you entirely forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, his children? He said, "My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes those he accepts as his children." (Proverbs 3:11-12)

As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Whoever heard of a child who was never disciplined? If God doesn't discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children after all. Since we respect our earthly fathers who disciplined us, should we not all the more cheerfully submit to the discipline of our heavenly Father and really live?

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always right and good for us because it means we will share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening -- it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in his way.

So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong.

--
Hebrews 12:5-13

[sigh] Okay, God. I get it.

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