Friday, May 15, 2009

Robot Voices

I've had this problem several times before, but the robot-voice synthesizer sounds effect is back again today. It happened once earlier this year too but I didn't blog about it then, for whatever reason.

There's a loud tinnitus-type roar, particularly when the TV or radio or music is playing -- as if there's an echo chamber where every tiny sound is amplified and run through a feedback loop. Sounds themselves are very metallic and robotic, like they're being fed through a synthesizer.

Tonight I'm supposed to attend a Pampered Chef party at the home of one of the church members. I'm needing a couple of PC items and had been wondering if there were any consultants in this area. PC consultants were practically ubiquitous in Iowa back when I lived there. Any-hoo, I also want to work a little harder at establishing relationships with the people at church. I've never really been good at that, and it usually takes me quite a while to get close to people (if I ever do). I'm good at the superficial stuff, but I'm pretty guarded and private and I withhold trust from pretty much everyone for a good while. I wasn't always like that, but I've been burned enough times to know better now. Besides, I can count on one hand the number of people I keep really close to my heart (apart from my children, of course), and I don't know that I really need any more than that.

I felt much better today than I did yesterday after the panic attack. I do NOT like panic attacks -- they are NOT FUN and I don't want another one EVER. Which, from what I understand from my research about them, is a typical response that occasionally goes awry resulting in agoraphobia (never leaving the house). I don't think that remaining in the house is going to be a response I have... running away/avoidance is a more typical response for me. But I am coping with the stress and I'm getting things done, much to my relief. It's going to happen, and this yearbook is going to be GOOD. Really, really good, even. I'm pretty proud of it. I think it's a big improvement over last year's.

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