Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Same headache, same time

The same headache has arrived again, precisely at 8:30 PM tonight, in exactly the same place behind my right eye.

Rick thinks I might have a sinus infection, but I don't have a stuffy head or drainage or anything.

Tonight instead of the usual two Aleve tablets (which I have to take for my arthritis anyway) I took one Aleve and one 500mg Vicodin tablet left over from my recent dental adventure. I always keep pain meds when I don't use them all because they eventually come in handy. I think I went through almost my entire stash of extra Vicodin after my surgery two months ago... I hurt a LOT more than I expected I would, and we lived so far from a pharmacy that it was just easier to use what I had rather than try to get a refill of what the doc had prescribed for me. Plus, now I always feel really guilty when filling a Vicodin scrip thanks to The Angry Pharmacist and all his rants. Even though my scrips are always legit and never the result of abuse or overuse, I still feel bad about it.

I'm probably going to use this blog as my personal headache documentation again (like I did several years back), to keep accurate track of their onset, duration and location. Feel free to ignore the headache posts.

Oh... and the white-hot anger that overwhelmed me yesterday? I knew it would be better after I woke up, and it was. I had some of those little miniature pumpkins that people decorate with this time of year, and I tied a little note of apology to the stem and put it on the desk of my offending co-worker. Yes, he was in the wrong, and his behavior and attitude were sucky. But he obviously perceived that I was the one behaving badly and I knew there would be no reconciliation if I didn't go forward with a sincere apology. Eventually maybe he'll realize he was the one with the problem, but I doubt it... and it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things anyway. I need to be able to work alongside him without friction, and I've learned where his tipping-point is with regards to sarcasm and jokes. Basically I will no longer joke with him, and hopefully if I stay out of his way I can stay on his good side. And most important of all, I needed to be the one who submitted -- out of reverence for Christ. Jesus didn't deserve the treatment HE got, but he took it willingly. I'm certainly NOT undeserving of punishment for lots of crap I do and don't do, so let's just take the medicine cheerfully and move on.

I have better things to do than hang onto anger and grudges. I see too many people around me who have clutched their lifelong bitterness to their chests like security blankets... it's no way to live, in my opinion.

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