Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Extreme irritability

One of the things I think I remember about the first time I lost a lot of weight was that estrogen and other hormones are stored in fat and released when that fat is eventually metabolized... sometimes resulting in a cascade of emotion.

Two months ago today, I had surgery. I have lost a LOT of weight in that two months already. And up to now I haven't really noticed much emotional stuff. Until today, that is.

Today I could gnaw nails into finely-honed needles and spit them at light-speed.

This morning at the breakfast table I noticed my eldest daughter's neck and the obvious layer of grime lying there unscrubbed. We were about to leave, so I made her stay behind to wash, and let Rick bring her to school when she'd finished. She is FOURTEEN. When -- oh when -- will the urge to be clean and fresh-smelling kick in? We need this desperately.

A co-worker "did it unto me" today... and I wouldn't normally have noticed or cared, but I have experienced a tsunami of private anger all day. It's tempered with the knowledge and desire to reconcile (more sure evidence of my Savior's presence than of any better nature within myself), but it's white-hot anger nonetheless.

At Wal-Mart this afternoon, I had the distinct privilege of being right behind someone who had gotten a whole cartload of stuff and then discovered she had no way to pay for about nine-tenths of it, so she had to go back through each item individually and decide whether the clerk should void it or keep it in the tally.

More extreme irritability. I kept my eyes averted from her in hopes that I wouldn't go all X-Men Cyclops in her face. I was glad I hadn't bought anything sharp or pointy.

At home afterward, I had to convince my eldest daughter to put on clean underwear after she took a shower rather than re-donning the ones she'd had on all day.

Why should I have to convince her of this? Can someone please 'splain to me why it isn't obvious to a fourteen-year-old girl that she should wear clean clothes?

My molars are nearly nubs.

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