Friday, August 12, 2011

Little things that are big things

Last weekend I wrote about not wanting to go to church. Well, I did anyway, because it's not about me... I'm a mom with kids who need it and love it... so I have to hitch up my big-girl-panties and deal.

Church services at the New Place are actually a respite. I don't feel pressured or "on display" or even obligated. I didn't lead worship. Didn't want to. I just enjoyed it quietly.

After we wrapped it all up, I was gathering up the Offspring when a kind-faced lady sidled up to me and handed me something. "This is a Wal-Mart gift card. There's $150 on it, for you to go get your kids' school supplies."

I wanted to melt into a puddle of butter.

God is so good. And He doesn't seem to mind when I'm tired and cranky; He keeps loving on me through it.

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Rick brought home some seedless green grapes from the grocery store yesterday. I hadn't really even taken them out of the sack; we'd just stuck them into the fridge as soon as he got home with them. I pulled them out tonight for a snack and HO. LY. COW. these grapes are the giant economy sized softball grapes... more like grapeFRUIT in size, maybe. Okay, I'm exaggerating. But they ARE enormous.

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Pop came home from the hospital tonight. A few days ago, I hadn't been entirely certain that he would. I really want him to get better; it seems brutally unfair that he's worked so hard all his life, that he's so young, and that he doesn't even get to enjoy it. I know, I know... lots of people don't get to have even the enjoyment that he's had... but I can be petulant from time to time, no? I want him to feel really good again. Mom got her second chance seven years ago. I'm hoping Pop gets his now.

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Tomorrow is Saturday. I am tentatively planning to do something unusual... I'm going to go to a Saturday vigil at the St. Maximus the Confessor Orthodox Church. Not because I particularly want to become a member of the Russian Orthodox Church, per se. No, it's just because I want to connect with God in a different way. It was suggested to me by a longtime friend, and I think it's a good idea. Or it could be just awful; I may accidentally desecrate something and get struck by lightning. Either way, it will be a change of pace.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you ever thought about unadoption?
from a website about the process it states---"As a general rule, however, adoptions dissolve by actions requested under the direction of the adopting couple and seems to impact those families in which the adoption was made for a child who may suffer from significant pre-existing medical or emotional health issues which, in turn, lead to an extensive struggle and strain upon the adoptive couple and possible siblings."

Gradual Dazzle said...

My initial understanding is that those tend to happen with state adoptions, not private ones. Our other daughter came to us as a result of a disrupted placement, but she hadn't been finalized and legally adopted yet when they relinquished her. It was due to her significant medical needs... and while I confess that I used to view them a little judgmentally, I don't anymore. Huge health issues are a HUGE strain, and if they were worried about that, they were right to disrupt it early on like they did.

The Chick Voice said...

I'm very excited to hear about your experience at the Orthodox church. I've wanted to check it out for years.

Anonymous said...

have not seen a post from you in a while...i know screwl has started but wondering how things are going...you are in my prayers