There's one attacking people in Vermont as we speak, y'all.
BENNINGTON, Vt. (AP) — A Vermont neighborhood is being stalked by a renegade gray squirrel.
Several people in Bennington say they’ve been attacked by a squirrel over the last few weeks.
Kevin McDonald tells the Bennington Banner he was shoveling snow when the squirrel jumped onto him. He says he threw the animal off, but it twice jumped back onto him. A game warden says there have been other reports, too.
Repeat after me: SKWERLS are NOT OUR FRIENDS. SKWERLS are EVIL VERMIN who want to ATTACK YOU.