Saturday, May 06, 2006

A little loopy, but doing somewhat better

Okay, we might have finally tracked down the headache problem. And be forewarned: I'm typing this while on a 2mg dose of Ativan, so if it makes no sense at all, wait a day or two and I'll come in and try to decipher it for you.

Back when I first made the switch from Prozac to Cymbalta, it was because the Prozac I'd been taking for five years was no longer having the effect I needed it to have. After I'd been taking it a couple of days, I experienced weird heart palpitations every so often, but I chalked it up to no big deal. Then things just progressively, imperceptibly escalated into secret thoughts of self-harm. I lived with this, along with overwhelming feelings of worthlessness and rejection from every direction.

Finally today I got home from the noon gig I was playing at for church, and driving home I had the distinct urge to drive off a bridge. My logical mind knew this was unsafe and took me home long enough to explain it to Rick. We decided I probably needed to go to the ER and get checked out. They discovered that my blood pressure was sky high (200 over 130).

They're switching me from Cymbalta to Effexor FX to see if we can get some relief. I certainly hope so; I can't go on living this way. They want me to be with someone responsible for the next several days just to be sure I'm not going to flip out; I myself don't want to be alone, either. I'm just not well. Pharmacologically-induced insanity, Rick called it.

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