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I do not plan to go stand in line at some store waiting for the doors to open in another hour. There ain't too many bargains I'd say were worth that. In fact, I'd probably only do that if someone were selling Roland RD-700SX keyboards for $500 apiece.

For the past few years I have done most of my Christmas shopping online. It's easier to keep track of everything, and I don't have to get out in the bitter cold temperatures. If I were in Dallas, perhaps I'd consider shopping on the Friday following Thanksgiving, but not Des Moines. Please. Are you out of your mind?

A colleague at school yesterday said that she was a bargain shopper and that she drives to Kansas City to wait in line at Best Buy. "They bring out donuts and hot chocolate," she said. She told of a time she was assaulted by someone who wanted the vacuum cleaner she had just picked up. Or the time a store posted guards outside the door to only let in a certain number of shoppers at a time because they were afraid of violating the fire code.

Me, it's just not my cup o'tea. I tried it last year and just wasn't inspired. I feel the same way out shopping a sale that I do when I'm trying to collect my thoughts in a verbal argument with someone who talks fast.

I know that lots of people just use pre-written lists to keep their purchases and thoughts organized, and I have done that too. But I generally just don't like big, fast-moving crowds of people anyway. So why torment myself when I don't have to? Click the Amazon button and be done with it, I say.