This is your brain on Kos

Eventually, you spend enough time immersed in the moonbat wacko Hate-America-First crowd and you end up like this pathetic, angry, hopeless person.

It's become more and more apparent to me over the past five years that all the activism and non-violent protesting in the world will do precisely squat. When you're dealing with evil people who have no shame, the old rules of the game don't and, indeed, can't apply if you have any hope for success. Hundreds of thousands of people have marched, millions of letters have been written, tens of millions of votes cast, and hundreds of trillions of electrons expended pontificating on blogs...for nothing. Nothing has changed. Nothing will change. Not unless it comes in the form of something akin to the French Revolution.

We need terror. We need horror. We need the streets running awash in rivers of blood of these thugs and criminals and zealots. Activism didn't prevent 60,000 deaths in Vietnam. All the activism of the Civil Rights era has gotten African Americans precisely nowhere. Segregation may not be the law of the land anymore, but it's still the de facto state of America.

When y'all want to start throwing molotovs and sniping from windows come and talk to me. Until then, I will be content to retire, be a hermit, and laugh at everyone. Even then, I may still just feel like laughing as the world falls apart around me, but at least I'll be willing to listen.

My mental state is collapsing and deteriorating almost daily. It's so consistent you could practically graph it. My life is falling apart at an equally alarming rate, and yet I feel like doing nothing to salvage it. I feel like I'm standing at the bottom of one of the WTC towers, watching it come down on me, floor by floor, knowing I'll be blown to atoms, yet unable to move.

See what I'm talking about? I've gone from cynicism to hatred to sadness in a few paragraphs. I'm a broken shell of what I used to be. Like Humpty Dumpty, I also doubt very seriously if I can ever be put back together. I'm dissatisfied and miserable beyond measure and no amount of medication, therapy, or vacation seems able to change that.

I actually really feel for this guy. I wish I could talk to him face-to-face and give him some honest, authentic HOPE. I know where he can get it.