One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good, because He wanted to encourage them..give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Okay, I was just wondering; I didn't get one either...
And then I got this one from Blue; he read it on his DFI forum, but I've modified it to suit my style:
Two men were wandering in the desert, near death from dehydration and hunger. They had almost decided to lie down in the sand and give up, when one of them looked up sharply.
"Dude, you smell that?"
"What?"
"Bacon. I smell bacon."
"Hey, now you mention it, I smell bacon too."
The two perked up somewhat and set out over the next sand dune in search of the source of the aroma. Sure enough, there in the distance was a tree. The branches of the tree were heavy-laden with every kind of smoked, cured pig meat known to man. The smell was overpowering.
"It's a mirage, man."
"Have you ever smelled a mirage? No, this is real." He set out at a dead run, his friend behind him. When he was about five yards from the tree, he was suddenly sprayed with a hail of automatic gunfire. Mortally wounded, he reached for his friend, and in his dying breath he warned him.
"Dude, go back! It's not a bacon tree! It's a ham bush!"
Just thought you'd enjoy a little annoying humor.
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