DES MOINES, Iowa -- Times are tough for the Pork Queen. It seems there aren't many young women who want the title.
Now, pork industry officials in the hog heaven of Iowa are wondering if it's time to retire the queen.
Iowa has crowned a Pork Queen every year since 1960. But last year there were only 11 contestants.
One suggestion is to open the contest to guys, too. Instead of being Pork Queen, the title would be Pork Ambassador.
The Iowa Pork Producers Association, which sponsors the queen, is considering a contest makeover. Recommendations about the future of the Pork Queen will be presented at the association's annual meeting next January.
Yeah, I think it would be exceptionally awesome to be known as the Pork Queen. Don't you think that that title evokes visions of loveliness?
No, actually, if we went by what the name actually sounds like, I'd probably qualify hands-down. But would I like to have that title affixed to me? Nah. I'm not ashamed of my shape -- it's just me, and despite innumerable attempts to alter it, I'm still shaped like I am. As Bruce Hornsby sings, "That's just the way it is."
And I think that Pork Ambassador is probably a much better choice, as is the idea of including young men in the competition. I think it's high time we start dispensing with the whole beauty-contest crapola anyway. I am beautiful, even though I'd never win one of those contests. There's way more to being beautiful than meeting up to some arbitrary standard of physical appearance.
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