Rumsfeld Must Go!

Sean Gleeson has Ten More Reasons to Hate Rumsfeld, in case you needed any.

This morning, ten more outrages were added to the big outrageous pile of outrages over outrageous revelations that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld had used a so-called "autopen" to sign condolence letters. Even though he has not denied these ten additional outrages, Rumsfeld still refuses to resign.

1. Instead of dialing his telephone by pressing all the digits, he makes use of a "speed dial" device for frequently called numbers.

2. Instead of dicing, boiling, and mashing potatoes, he sometimes mixes freeze-dried mashed potato flakes with hot water.

3. When he needs donuts, he buys them from retail outlets, instead of frying his own donuts from scratch ingredients.

4. Instead of lacing and tying his shoes, he sometimes makes use of so-called "loafers," which have no laces.

5. Instead of typing into input fields on website forms, he has his name and other information saved as "cookies" which fill in many forms automatically.

6. Once he bought new spark plugs, when cleaning his old spark plugs with a toothbrush might have extended their useful lives by up to six more months.

7. He has had most of his clothing outfitted with "buttons" and "zippers" to make dressing and undressing almost effortless.

8. When driving, he almost never tunes in his favorite radio stations with the "tune" dial, preferring to make use of special "preset" and "seek" buttons.

9. If he were Buddhist, he would probably use a "prayer wheel," which offers up prayers to the Deity on the behalf of the person who spins it.

10. Instead of resigning in disgrace, he tends to win wars.