Monday, April 27, 2009

Vicious skwerl attacks teacher

No, it wasn't me this time. A skwerl in Michigan attacked a teacher who was trying to help its babies back into the nest.

In further proof that squirrels are a malign force dedicated to the merciless destruction of humanity, a teacher in Michigan has been attacked by an enraged squirrel - for trying to help one of its young.

The teacher from Detroit was showing a group of students around the campus of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor when she spotted a group of squirrel infants who were not in their nest.

Concerned that one of the squirrel babies had been left behind, and was being eyed hungrily by a lurking crow, the teacher intervened; first trying to shoo the crow away, then drawing the mother's attention to her child's plight.

But instead of thanking the teacher and taking better care of the infant in future, the mother turned on the teacher, attacking her.

The teacher fled in fear, attempting to get back to the group's bus as the furious squirrel chased her down. She fell as she attempted to get away, during which time the furry avenger bit and scratched her leg.

People, people, people. If you see skwerl babies out of the nest, do NOT -- I repeat -- do NOT attempt to "rescue" them. Any mama animal, even a terizt skwerl, will interpret your actions as threatening and will become a grizzly bear in an instant. That's just common sense. Of course, one can't expect a university professor to have any of that.

That being said, whoever the reporter was who wrote this article is definitely a kindred spirit. Did you catch that first sentence? Heh!

(h/t to Prochein Amy, who e-mailed this article to me this morning)

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