The title is an anagram for the building we're going to visit tomorrow morning. It's also who's talking to me about being music/worship leader... hence my personal dilemma.
Do I really want to entangle myself on a church staff?
Certainly not one like I've experienced in the past.
But this particular group is of a very different, um, "flavor" than I've aligned myself with in the past, and seems quite unlikely to pose the same threat of sucking the life out of me.
Do I really even want to do the institutional church thing ever again?
Not so much. It might've been a mistake for me to read Frank Viola's books and The Shack, but it's done now and I've had external confirmation of my internal sense of truth. Can't put that toothpaste back in the tube now.
But I also don't have any prospects for participating in an organic church. In the meantime, this group has a lot to recommend it. I'm not getting the same overpowering sense of territorial protection and in-fighting that I was perceiving at the Tuft Rich Chips Brat .
I'm speaking in anagrams because I can, because I found a neato site that creates them automatically for me, and because I really don't want anyone from either group to be able to Google their group and find my blog saying things about them. It's just not necessary or helpful.
Any-hoo, I'm sure there's strife. It's an institutional church, ain't it? But I'm not emotionally invested in some institutional vision, I'm committed to The Church. That's a very liberating position to be in, actually.
But even at all that, am I letting our desperate need for money drive my decision? Because while it isn't a lucrative position, it IS a paid one. We've lost the income from the North Ruralville position (gladly, wiping hands on pants) and we're losing the income from me teaching the college night class.
Hence my dilemma.
I'll let y'all know. It isn't imminent; God usually makes these things obvious for us, so I'll be patient and let him show me what he wants.