Saturday, September 06, 2008

100 Things You Should Eat Before You Die

In celebration of my new-found ability to eat real food that isn't soup, I bring you One Hundred Things You Should Eat Before You Die. Some of the things I've had before but a few are delicacies of the sort that one doesn't find in restaurants which I frequent. I'm a plebe, I'm not gonna lie to you. But watching Iron Chef has made me want to try some fancy-shmancy stuff like:

#97 Steak tartare
#84 Black truffle
#78 Foie gras
#53 Eel
#51 Sea urchin
#42 Poutine (certainly not fancy-shmancy, of course, but it sounds interesting)
#33 Haggis
#29 Caviar (I'd like to try the really good stuff from Russia sometime)
#16 Kobe beef
(I want a boneless ribeye from a beer-fed, massaged Wagyu steer) (I don't want much, do I?)
#4 Lobster Thermidor
(doesn't this look yummy? I thought so. I've had lobster before, of course, but never this particular dish, and I haven't been able to eat lobster of any kind since my stomach troubles)


Stuff on the list that I've already had: (with asterisks beside ones I'd have again, five asterisks if I totally totally heart the stuff)

Huevos rancheros*

Cheese fondue

Baba ghanoush*




Aloo gobhi*

Hot dog from a street cart*

Steamed pork buns*

Pistachio ice cream*****

Heirloom tomatoes*****

Fresh wild berries*****

Rice & beans (the Haitian kind is the best, IMHO)*



Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl


Root beer float*

Curried goat*

Chicken tikka masala

Krispy Kreme donuts


McDonald's Big Mac


Frog legs*

Funnel cake*

Fried plantain*****

Hostess fruit pie



Goulash (it's too close to soup, which I've sworn off of for as long as possible)




Mole poblano*

Polenta (isn't this just grits? duh!)

Snake (too tough and stringy for my tastes)

And stuff on the list I will never EVER eat if I can help it:

Borscht (again, it's soup. and it's made from beets. I apologize to my Russian friends, but beets have always tasted like mildew smells)

Cognac with a fat cigar
(although I do like the way cigars smell, I'm not particularly interested in toking on one, and cognac always sounded nasty to me for some reason -- maybe it's not, I dunno)

Whole insects
(just no) (I might've been remotely willing to give it a try until I watched Bear Grylls eat a big fat caterpillar on Man vs. Wild and it spurted big yellow guts everywhere and the look on his face was just awful) (so NO)

(who in the world eats clay ON PURPOSE?!? Unless you're a starving Haitian?!? NO.)

(fruit that smells like rotted socks? although I did try Limburger cheese a couple of years ago -- could it possibly smell worse than that? I doubt it. But I don't particularly want to give one a try.)

(WTF? Why is this on the list?!?) (although my great-grandpa Akers used to have a bumper sticker that read "Eat More Possum" on it) (heh)

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