Sunday night fashion snark

When I go visit the news photo feeds to look at the latest runway offerings, I am truly looking for things that I like. I so rarely find them, however, that I must instead resort to culling through the thousands of pictures of things I find ridiculous in order to keep these posts down to a manageable level. If I shared everything I thought humorous, well, I'd be writing about nothing else. And I have a life, such as it is. Perhaps not much of one, but it's the one I have.

All that being said, let's see what buffoonery graced the runways at the Lisbon Fashion Week:

Alves presents us with a visual interpretation of Hitchcock's well-known avian suspense flick -- interspersed, of course, with a bodice of haphazardly-knotted black pantyhose. Of course, the Alves show wouldn't have been complete without... wait for it... weird headwear:


Is there anything one can say to a woman who walks by wearing her bed canopy on her head and the shower curtain stuck between her legs? "Rough night?" comes to mind. I'm sure someone even snarkier than myself can come up with something better.

Dourado went for the dripping black Goth eyeliner look. I actually think the clothes are funky and fun in a subtly psychedelic, Doctor Who-ish sort of way, but the makeup is an unnecessary distraction in my opinion:


Croatian designer Kolovrat just went way, way past me in the headwear department:



I'm thinking this must be "terrorist chic" or "criminal mastermind" sort of stuff. Disturbing, really. Then there was this one, which seemed to only have his face blackened, but his clothing held together with darts. Not clothing darts. ACTUAL darts:


Sorry, friends, I'm just not seeing it. Maybe it's just the southeastern Europe post-traumatic war thing, I dunno. Paint a picture or something, man. Write a book.

This one was from the collection of Filipe Fa-somebody (I couldn't get the name, for some dumb reason). I actually sort-of liked the outfit, in a weird way. The blouse reminds me of that membrane stuff that the Iron Chefs use to wrap things in before they're cooked. I think it's called caul fat and comes from the innards of pigs. Anyhow, the same thing done in a more recognizable pattern, maybe lace-based, might improve it for me. I like the shape, and I think that the Tin-Man silver tights are beginning to grow on me. I don't think I could successfully wear them, but they're kind-of cool looking anyway:


Ana Salazar decided to do some frightening things to her models' heads, too -- only this time it seemed to be with their own hair:

Bring on the AquaNet, ladies -- the teased-up look just might be back. [shudder] Or in Moura's case, the Lacquered Look:

I've seen women whose hair was so sprayed that it had a helmet sort of effect, but I've never seen it taken quite that far.

Well, that's all for tonight. See you next weekend for the Weekly Fashion Snark! Unless, of course, I see something during the week that strikes my fancy.