Monday, October 30, 2006

Abolish Halloween?

That's what Steve over at Hog On Ice says. Don't go read it if you're easily offended; Steve has never really played nice. He has a good point, though:
Halloween sucks, by the way. Ever since the Tylenol scare in the early 80's, Halloween has completely blown. When I was a kid, we left the house at dusk and got back at around one. Our parents stayed [expletive deleted] home, where they belonged. Now kids go out in the afternoon with their parents hovering behind them with flashlights. They stop at two or three houses where they're fairly sure they won't be poisoned. Then they go home, and their parents make them throw the candy out. What a load of crap.

...Some idiot told me the other day that Friday was Halloween. Friday, the 27th. Because some eunuchs and bearded ladies at the school board had decreed that it was so. Kids were supposed to go out for like 15 minutes after school, escorted by armed guards. And somehow, everyone in the area was supposed to know this and be ready for it. My response? "Looks like they're screwed."

Halloween is October 31. Period. Come on any other day, and you get nothing. NOTHING. You can move Washington's birthday if you want, because no one gives a [expletive deleted] about it anyway. Halloween STAYS PUT. If you want me to suffer through the local TV news just to find out where some bureaucrat moron has unilaterally moved the holiday, you better stand over me holding a gun.

I think it's [expletive deleted] nice of me to produce free candy on ANY day. Especially now that Halloween is complete crap. Out by four, in by four-fifteen, and have Homeland Security inspect the candy. Especially the funky halvah the Muslim dentist's wife passed out. You call that Halloween? It's about as much fun as a draft physical.

[snicker] I love when people are brutally honest...

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