Living the Dream

Brett over at Beat Canvas has been writing some VERY inspiring things lately about living the dream. He has been quietly encouraging to me, both on his blog and via personal e-mails. I'm watching him strike out on interesting ventures, taking risks but not without careful consideration and homework, and doing things that he's passionate about, both artistically and career-wise.

In the seasons and stages of my life so far, I can usually look back and see God's hand and his direction in where I've gone. He leads, I follow (to some degree), and he takes whatever I give him and makes it into something useful for his purposes. Sometimes I can see where my disobedience has caused me grief and has prevented me from experiencing the full "coolness" of what he would've liked for me to do, but he always takes whatever I give him.

In this final year of my thirties, I can see that I'm getting better at saying "Yes" more quickly, and I can also see that the adventures God has taken me through have been much more fulfilling than when I was the one in charge. He has taken what I once considered "failed efforts" at piano and shown me that not one single moment of my piano training was wasted. He has shown me that the person he created, Kris, was imbued with gifts that he intended to use at some point in my life and that there was not one single extraneous or unnecessary ingredient used to make Me.

This has helped me come to see that the things I really love doing -- musical and visual arts -- are not just add-ons to my life that I do for fun. They were really, truly meant to glorify God to the fullest degree possible. Anything less would be a misuse of what God gave me. The supposed fact that "you can't make money with those" is not only untrue, it's an attempt by the enemy to prevent God's purposes from being fulfilled in me.

While I love my students here at the high school, I can clearly see that the "education establishment" is not my true calling. As I observe my colleagues who are called to do it, I can definitely see a difference between me and them. I can teach, and I can do it effectively -- don't get me wrong -- but it's not the sum total of my existence, nor is it really what I care to think about once 3:00PM rolls around every day. This doesn't mean that I need to give notice tomorrow, but it does
mean that this job takes second place to the pursuit of what I really am called to do... and that at some point, I may be called to leave it in order to do what God wants me to do next.

I half expected this latest venture of mine, stepping up my production of paintings to auction here on my blog, would become tiresome very quickly, but I was mentally prepared to continue doing it until I had achieved the goal of earning enough money to purchase musical equipment.

But I'm not tired of it. In fact, it has been energizing.

In fact, I can hardly wait to get home every day and paint. It's the first thing I want to do when I get up in the morning, and I have to say "no" because I have other obligations. It hasn't been drudgery, it has served only to spark more and more inspiration and creativity within my mind. As I'm performing my tasks here at school, I'm thinking of what I'm going to paint next and what colors I want to use.

Last year when I joined the music team at my church, I found that it was all I could think about. I couldn't wait to get down there and practice in the evenings and play on Sunday mornings or at gigs. I went to work at the school and did what I was required to do, and even developed some awesome relationships with teachers and students, but I barely gave school a second thought once the day was done. And that enthusiasm for making music with these people has not waned even a little bit, to my surprise. I still feel the same way, and doing it still makes me happier than just about anything else I do. Getting up at 5AM on Sunday mornings this past year has never once been difficult, while the same thing on Monday through Friday is always hard for me.

I think that's what has really struck me most -- usually I'll start something that sounds fun, but I soon become bored or tired of it and my interest plays out. Not so with these recent ventures involving music and painting. Which speaks volumes to me about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

Years ago I noticed that truly good salesmen were people who used their product and believed in it and were enthusiastic about it. It wasn't just a sales pitch, it was a personal testimony.

It has only recently occurred to me that this very same observation applies in my own life. The things I'm most successful at are the things for which I am most passionate. I can do other things for a season, but they're always going to serve the purpose of facilitating what I love.

It is precisely this kind of fulfillment that I hope to encourage in those around me.

Are you living your dream? Why not?