* Always sit at least 100 yards from sun.
* UV rays can damage the corneas; don't forget to rub a good sunscreen into your eyes.
* Risk of sunburn is especially high while swimming; strap on a thick lead suit before entering water.
* Instead of using our sun, sunbathe using safer, more distant star like Beta-Sirius.
* Avoid harmful UV rays; live underground until your descendants evolve into eyeless, albino mole people.
* For those raised in a red-sun environment, yellow sun may cause superpowers; use only for good.
* Tanning is safest when done in short spurts; disrobe for just a couple of seconds every few blocks while walking through town.
* Allow thick, protective melanoma to grow all over skin.
Sorry... it just made me laugh.
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