Okay, I just can't resist this one

Drudge has a newsflash up:

REPORTER VOWS TO 'KILL SELF' IF CHENEY RUNS FOR PRESIDENT
Thu Jul 28 2005 15:32:13 ET

Veteran wire reporter Helen Thomas is vowing to 'kill herself' if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president.

The newspaper HILL first reported the startling claim on Thursday.

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"The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself," she told the HILL. "All we need is one more liar."

Thomas added, "I think he'd like to run, but it would be a sad day for the country if he does."

Umm... forgive me, but if you were gone, Helen, that would be one less liar, not one more. But I digress. If you're suicidal over something as trivial as a person announcing their candidacy for president, then you need to examine your priorities. You need something worth living for, because political leaders come and go (as you well know, dear).

Get a LIFE. And while you're at it, why not just retire and give us all something to smile about? No need to commit suicide, mind you. Go get yourself a chateau in France somewhere and enjoy the years you have left.