There have been occasional moments within the timeline of my life... few and far between, to be sure... when I have taken sudden leaps of understanding, when I have quite suddenly left behind certain ways of thinking and/or certain behaviors. For some people, I think these sorts of changes happen slowly and deliberately, but for me, they've almost invariably been tectonic-level shifts, as sudden and as violent as an earthquake, leaving behind smoking rubble and a forever-transformed landscape.
Ten or eleven years ago I experienced one of these jarring, instantaneous jolts. It came in the form of a smile. I very suddenly understood that if I smiled at people, they usually smiled back, and that others were NOT really walking around thinking what a loser I was... that really, people don't think about other people very much at all. People think mostly about themselves, and most people are somewhat uncomfortable with themselves to some degree -- even "skinny" people, even "popular" people.
This changed my entire life. I very quickly began to make friends with people of all ages, all around me. I smiled at people and spoke to them cheerfully.
It literally happened overnight. And I have never gone back. Sure, we all have moments of self-indulgent navel-gazing, but on the whole, I have adopted the stance of "smile at people and say something cheerful, and they'll not only be happier, they'll think nice things about me as well." It works. And it works even when I feel crappy. If I smile anyway, nobody has to know that I feel crappy, and eventually I'll even quit feeling crappy.
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I have undergone a similar transformation in the past couple of years. My understanding of myself and my life's purpose, of my faith, and of my God (while far from complete) has taken a major dimensional leap. I can't really call it a "forward" leap, or a "backward" leap. It's more of an enormous "expansion" in all directions. I can't even really quantify it just yet. But it has changed literally everything for me. I think differently than I did. I feel differently. I see differently. And it happened very suddenly, very cataclysmically.
It has changed many, many things in my life. There have been many things that I have left behind... not without great pain, in some instances... but amazingly and wonderfully, God has replaced the things I've left behind with things more exhilarating than I ever thought possible. Remember that TV show called "Quantum Leap"? I feel like I've taken one of those quantum leaps, only instead of leaping from one circumstance to another, I've leapt from one dimension to another.
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As a baby and a young girl, I drank lots of milk. I loved it... drank it all the time, poured it on my Cheerios and then drank it when the cereal was gone. As I got older, milk still tasted good for a while, even though it was less critical for nourishment. Recently I've developed an actual intolerance for it, and drinking it actually makes me nauseated.
Similarly, things in my life that once satisfied me are no longer satisfying... and in some cases, are almost toxic.
I'm guessing that the jug of milk in the fridge doesn't really care that I don't drink it anymore. There are still plenty of folks in the house who do still enjoy it, so it doesn't miss me. It doesn't worry whether I'm getting enough calcium or vitamin D... I'm a big girl, and I can take care of those nutritional needs in other ways.
Milk was really good for me. It helped me grow in many ways. I'm thankful for it. But I can't drink it anymore.
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