Thursday, March 17, 2005

Oh, for pete's sake

David Yepsen can't be bothered by reality. Here's a bit of his column from today's Des Moines Register, entitled "Gay bashing seems to be the priority":
It's not even an election year, but political games still rule the day at the state Capitol. It's why the Republican-controlled Iowa House decided this week to approve a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

Never mind that Iowa has more important issues - ones that affect a lot more people - to address. Things like economic growth, balancing budgets, education reform, lawsuit limitations, cleaning up the environment and paying for health care for the poor, just to state a few.

Never mind how - so far - the Legislature has done darn little about any of it. And never mind that the proposed ban is DOA in the Iowa Senate.

No, siree. Out of all the issues facing Iowa, our state representatives took time out of their busy 3 1/2 day work week to do a little gay and lesbian bashing.

At a time when we're trying to make Iowa an appealing place to live in order to attract new workers and keep young people in the state, lawmakers have time to send another hostile, unwelcoming signal. (If you aren't heterosexual, House Republicans don't seem to want you in Iowa. Some of them don't want you here if you can't speak English, either.)

I'm going to assume that he's not so stupid as to actually believe this. It might be a stretch, but I'll give his intellect the benefit of the doubt and just assume that he's getting it wrong on purpose to spin the story to his viewpoint.

I can't believe that a ban on same-sex "marriage" is what's keeping new workers from moving here, or what's driving young people out of the state, for that matter. I'm sure it isn't the fact that there is NOTHING TO DO HERE and that it takes SIX GAZILLION HOURS to get anywhere else and you have to drive through endlessly undulating cornfields... and speaking of endless, why would anyone choose to live in a place where it's this stinkin' cold for most of the year, especially when they could pick a sunny, warm locale? As for English, what incentive does anyone moving here from another country have to assimilate unless they have to? I don't see the tide of immigrants stemming; no, they're continuing to seek asylum in our quiet little state. There are kids from at least ten different countries just here in this high school, and I am not talking about exchange students.

Yes, I gripe about Iowa. I do like it here, despite the drawbacks, but it's not because of Iowa. It's because there are people I love here, and I'm doing things I like doing. Iowa? Maybe it's because I'm not a native, but Iowa just ain't the most happenin' place on the planet. If I were a young, single chick fresh out of college, and I could pick anyplace in the country to work, I'd be heading for New York City or Miami, or even Dallas or Phoenix. Iowa wouldn't even hit the radar screen.

I sincerely doubt that most of the young singles are checking out our gay-marriage policy before deciding whether or not to move here.
So much for the Republican talk about less government in our lives. So much for the Republican notion of defending freedom and leaving people alone. When it comes to the American bedroom, many GOPers seem determined to set up a video camera to make sure everyone is making love only to their adult spouse of the opposite sex in the missionary position.

No, Mr. Yepsen. Are any of you ever going to cease with this tiresome old fallback? Please. We're discussing the legal definition of MARRIAGE. No-one cares what you or anyone else does in your bedroom. I couldn't possibly care less, to be honest. You're a grownup and you can make good or bad choices, same as I can. Just don't expect me to say you're married if you're keeping house and sleeping with another guy. That isn't marriage.

He goes on to argue that it's a ploy to mobilize the Evangelical Right during the next election, when Tom Harkin's term will be up and when a large conservative turnout would help oust him from office. Heavens... I can only hope that they're actually thinking along those lines! It's obviously something that worries Mr. Yepsen... enough that he feels he has to drag out all the shopworn Cassandra Croakings to stir up the obviously overwhelmingly vast base of GLBTs here. I can't imagine that anyone else is remotely bothered. Or convinced. [yawn]

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