Monday, February 28, 2005

I'm stunned... just stunned

Doug Gross has said he isn't running for governor of Iowa. I wonder, then, who paid for all those warm fuzzy TV ads he's been appearing on lately. I'm guessing that the commercials didn't help his polls any, so he's deciding not to run based on the "strain on his family". Whatever. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but still.

I am glad he's decided not to run; I don't think he's really electable. First of all, and shallowest, he's just plain dorky-looking. He looks too much like Farmer Ted from Sixteen Candles. We've already had a governor who looked like Beaver Cleaver. Lord bless him, he was a nice man, and he was elected governor four times. But at least Beaver was something of a decent comparison. Farmer Ted is a complete geek-deluxe. We'd never hear the end of it. It's already hard enough trying to overcome the fact that our current governor's last name is "Vilsack." What-sack? Eww! Just doesn't sound nice.

Second, he just seems to be too much of an insider. When watching the schmoozy commercials about him recently, I always felt as though he was putting his finger on the pulse of viewers in order to gain some kind of electoral advantage. Blech. Can we at least be a little more subtle about your desire for the top job?

I'm sure there are myriad more reasons why Doug Gross should not run for governor, but I'm too tired to hunt them down at the moment. I am glad, however, that he seems to have decided not to run.

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