Okay.

You asked. And actually, it probably isn't much. It's just the usual whining. I just feel like this blog's becoming a one-note samba and I'm losing the fifteen regular readers I still have because I'm boring them to death.

Where to begin? How about the persistent hacking cough that has not completely gone away since November 3 of last year? It still kept me up last night. And it's not one of those nagging, niggling things that makes me think I've got something underlying wrong with me. It's my typically tubercular wheezing yelp that I always get... but I am pretty sure I've had three solid rounds of new rhinoviruses that have just arrived at precisely the right times to re-irritate my bronchii just when they're about to heal over.

Then there's the usual yelling and screaming and arguing that accompanies life with a bipolar teenage girl. I grew up as an only child, you see (until I was almost fifteen, when Manita was born), and I was a bookish little kid that didn't yell and scream and make a whole lot of noise. Our house was really rather quiet. The loud rages and defiance are new territory, and not territory I had wanted to explore. I suppose it's possible that other households, even those without the bipolar angle, have raucous sibling squabbling... but here's my take on parenthood -- if it's unacceptable in OUR house, it doesn't matter what other houses approve of or dismiss offhandedly. We don't taunt or belittle or provoke one another in our house. Period. But I'm tired of fighting it already, and she's not even fourteen yet. It's hard not to wonder what life's going to be like as she gets older and as she becomes an autonomous "adult." It's probably the one good thing about being dead broke -- at least if she tries to come back to us for money, we can honestly shrug our shoulders apologetically and turn our empty pockets inside-out.

But I try to remember that it doesn't do me much good to be anxious about something that may not even occur.

Besides, we still haven't been able to convince the "expert child psychiatrist" that Geodon (the new medication she's been switched to) is JUST NOT WORKING for her. Our next move will have to be to lithium, which I'm sure the doctor is loathe to do... but something has GOT to work. We have added one more Geodon capsule right after she gets home from school in hopes it will stem the furious nighttime rages. It does seem to help somewhat with the fury, but the giddy mania is a problem because she's unaware of her limitations.

As for other family issues... well, there are some things I will not talk about much, but something I was told a long time ago by a wise friend is still fitting: Change will not occur until the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.

On top of everything else, the peaceful coexistence of our household animals has been disrupted. Rick unwittingly agreed to care for the neighbors' miniature Dachshund, Tina, while they left town to care for a dying relative. These are the same neighbors who produced the demon-spawn fifth-grade boy who murdered the white cat and who ended up in court for setting fires in his backyard... but let's not go there right now, ok? Back to the story at hand... Rick doesn't put two and two together on this deal, and instead cheerfully agrees to take the animal in for a few days.

Not only is this pitiful animal NOT housetrained, it's completely out of control. It lives in this enormous, vile-smelling travel crate which could comfortably house two Great Danes. The pad they kept in the bottom is encrusted with dried urine... Rick gingerly removed it and put it outside, since it made our tiny utility room unbearable.

Remember, we're living in a cramped two-bedroom rent house. There's not enough room for those of us who DO live here, much less for a giant, foul-smelling crate with a persistently barking, whining dog that pees everywhere if allowed out of the crate. Rick's been letting Tina stay outside most of the day, since the weather's not bad, but I feel terribly sorry for that poor animal. Her condition is not her fault, but she's the one suffering because of her owners' neglect. She's obviously a very social animal who'd probably like to be loved and fawned over and who'd like to lick her owners' noses happily.

And I have to "not care" ... I have boundaries, after all, and investing time housetraining a dog whose owners will not maintain her? I can't do it. And I won't. I'm not the one who has to exist here at home all day with the poor creature.

Add all these things to the fact that the other van is in the shop for several days undergoing an expensive re-fit of something or other.

And I have to blend every single thing I eat now. Did you know that blended cabbage soup looks remarkably like wallpaper paste?

I brought some black beans in broth for my lunch today at work, but I didn't run it through the blender first. They were soft, after all. I spent the next hour holding it in, hoping it would eventually work its way through, but finally one of my yearbook students said, "Mrs. Wood, are you about to yak?"

I nodded and headed out the door to the bathroom as fast as I could go.

I just have to make this last until June... of course, there's always the possibility that the surgery will go horribly wrong and I'll be unable to eat at all. Or that there's something else wrong with my stomach and when they open me up they'll find such a mess that it's not even worth waking me back up. LOL

Sorry for the black humor... I have to laugh about something.

Besides, I still have the best job EVER. And there's no sarcasm in my tone when I say that. I really do love my job and I'm glad I get to wake up every morning and go to work there.

Thanks... it felt good to spew a bit. Like I said before, eventually things WILL get better. I will stop coughing someday. Tina will go home. Our house didn't burn down in the wildfires all around the area today due to high winds (which, interestingly, blew down another large chunk of the dead cottonwood in Tina's owners' yard... right on top of one of their several late-model vehicles... and we can't get in touch with them because the cell phone number they gave us is not in service... sheesh).

And I don't live in a French prison on Devil's Island off the coast of French Guiana, being nibbled to death by malaria-infested mosquitos.

Comparatively, I have it pretty darn great.

UPDATE: Add "John McCain" to my Misery List, since he just won all the Florida delegates. [growl] We are going to have a Liberal president, regardless of party affiliation. I wonder if they need any art teachers in Tahiti? They're probably Socialists there, too, but I might as well be miserable in someplace beautiful. Who's with me?

Misery, anyone?

Okay, honestly. I have two choices. I can find humorous distractions to post about, avoiding all reference to my life... or I can tell you the truth and feel guilty that I've emoted all over everyone.

Shall I keep up the cheerful veneer, knowing that eventually things won't be so bad?

Or would you rather read the brutal reality?

The idyllic picnic, or the fire ant infestation?

Sick.

I'm sick.

Again.

I'll try to be back when I can form a coherent thought again.

Quote of the day

Today's Quote Of The Day comes from SteveH of HogOnIce:

Part of the art in art, if you will excuse me for putting it that way, is in deciding what to leave out. It's always a problem for me, because I have both an artistic side and a mathematical side. It's like having Ted Nugent and the character Ray from Rain Man, constantly fighting inside your skull. If I leave a detail out, Ray has a fit. And Ted won't let me proofread.

I'm switching parties

Don't believe me?

Believe me.

I am hereby officially declaring myself a member of the GOMLP.

Six Weird Things About Me

Another goofy meme, found over at Mel's Place. This time, if you're reading it, consider yourself tagged and you can post your own weird things on your blog (or leave them in the comments if you don't have a blog of your own).

Six Weird Things About Me

1. I don't have a bellybutton.
2. I sleep with a teddy bear.
3. I can recite the alphabet backwards as fast as I can recite it forward.
4. I like the smell of good brands of cigars or cigarettes.
5. I do not like pancakes or doughnuts.
6. Some part of my body must be moving at all times while I'm awake. Either my toe is twitching in time, or my teeth are gritting out a rhythm. It's always in rhythm. And it's rarely in time with whatever's on at the moment; rather, it's much more likely to be a made-up tune/rhythm combo playing over and over in my head.

What's weird about you?

Good news on the personal front

I've actually had three separate classroom observations by administrators this year -- more than any other year since I started teaching. Two of these were district observations done by the testing and compliance coordinator, who's a delightful lady with an immense job I wouldn't touch with double gloves. After both visits, she had nothing but wonderful things to say. She was very, very encouraging to me.

The other one is the Official State Thingy, with official forms in triplicate that must be signed. It's almost always done by the campus principal. I had this observation back in November, but haven't heard any feedback on it until today. I received an e-mail from my principal requesting I come to his office during my conference period to go over his observations and sign my forms.

Even though I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be an unpleasant visit, I can't help but feel trepidation and watery guts whenever I get called into The Office. For heaven's sake, this guy holds a great deal of power over me and my entire career at this point, and I absolutely must meet his approval. Having had some very nasty shocks at the hands of administrative-types, I can't let my guard down for a millisecond.

I'm grateful and thankful to God to be able to say that the principal's evaluation of me was bordering on stellar. One of the things he seemed to be most pleased about was that my classroom management skills were extremely good -- he noted that an environment such as an art room has the potential to be a rather chaotic scene, but that my room was never in such a state. A direct quote: "I am proud to have you on campus."

[beaming]

I've worked very hard this year so far. I still have much to accomplish. We're only halfway there.

Sunday night poetry

The nearest dream recedes, unrealized.
The heaven we chase
Like the June bee
Before the school-boy
Invites the race;
Stoops to an easy clover --
Dips -- evades -- teases -- deploys;
Then to the royal clouds
Lifts his light pinnace
Heedless of the boy
Staring, bewildered, at the mocking sky.

Homesick for steadfast honey,
Ah! the bee flies not
That brews that rare variety.

--Emily Dickinson

Images (a meme)

1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket
3) Take any picture from the first page of results and post. (click on the picture and copy the HTML code)
-------------------------------------------


1. Age you will be on your next birthday:



2. A place you'd like to travel:



3. Favorite place:



4. Favorite object:



5. Favorite food:



6. Favorite animal:



7. Favorite color:



8. Town in which you were born:



9. Town in which you live:



10. Name of a past pet:



11. Name of a past love:



12. Your screen name/nick name:



13. Your middle name:



14. Your last name:



15. Bad habit:



16. First job:



17. Grandmother's name:

What's your Travel IQ?

Mine's 113... not fabulous, but not bad.

Go play this game and see what yours is, and report back in the comments section.

Which D&D character are you?

I Am A: Neutral-Good Gnome Cleric (6th Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-8

Dexterity-11

Constitution-12

Intelligence-16

Wisdom-15

Charisma-10


Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.


Race:
Gnomes are in wide demand as alchemists, inventors, and technicians, though most prefer to remain among their own kind in simple comfort. Gnomes adore animals, gems, and jokes, especially pranks. They love to learn by personal experience, and are always trying new ways to build things. Gnomes stand 3 to 3.5 feet tall and live about 350 to 500 years.


Class:
Clerics act as intermediaries between the earthly and the divine (or infernal) worlds. A good cleric helps those in need, while an evil cleric seeks to spread his patron's vision of evil across the world. All clerics can heal wounds and bring people back from the brink of death, and powerful clerics can even raise the dead. Likewise, all clerics have authority over undead creatures, and they can turn away or even destroy these creatures. Clerics are trained in the use of simple weapons, and can use all forms of armor and shields without penalty, since armor does not interfere with the casting of divine spells. In addition to his normal complement of spells, every cleric chooses to focus on two of his deity's domains. These domains grants the cleric special powers, and give him access to spells that he might otherwise never learn. A cleric's Wisdom score should be high, since this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)


Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (26)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (29)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (25)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (28)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (19)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXXX (6)

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Chaos --- XXXXX (5)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Evil ---- X (1)

Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Elf ------ XXXXXX (6)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Halfling - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXX (7)
Half-Orc - XX (2)

Class:
Barbarian - (0)
Bard ------ (0)
Cleric ---- XXXXXX (6)
Druid ----- (-4)
Fighter --- (-2)
Monk ------ (-25)
Paladin --- (-19)
Ranger ---- (0)
Rogue ----- (-2)
Sorcerer -- XX (2)
Wizard ---- XX (2)

-------------------------------------------------

Great. Even stupid internet surveys seem to feel the need to emphasize my stature. First the Star Wars one that always tags me as "Yoda," and now D&D which says I'm a freakin' GNOME.

Not just a gnome. I'm the Church Gnome.

[helium voice] Isn't that special?!? [/helium voice]

I'm still here!

Honest, I am.

Today I had another administrative evaluation which went spectacularly well.

Other than that, I'm just super-tired in the evenings when I get home. I wish we could find a place to live over there in Ballyhoo; the gas prices are killing us. I guess I can't complain, since lots and lots of people have much longer commutes. Nevertheless, the cost is becoming prohibitive. And I'm just plain tired of driving all the time. I guess it's the serious downside to living in a rural area -- you have to drive for at least half an hour to get anywhere.

Oh well.

And now, I'm going to bed. Dunno if I'll go to sleep, since Rick seems to have contracted my protracted coughing fits. But at least I can try.

Nighty-night.

Opening night

Well, Two-ey ate Mr. Mushnik and we all learned our valuable lesson: Don't Feed The Plant.

Tomorrow afternoon we'll do it all again, and then I can pack up my synth and my amp and go home. No, I probably haven't really learned my own valuable lesson -- to say NO -- but perhaps I can feel justified in declining to obligate myself for a while.

No more Pentium-III

I don't expect it will always work, but at least this time, the old "ask and ye shall receive" principle worked for me at school. Actually, mentioning it to the superintendent at a football game did the trick. I now have three (3!!) new HP computers with flat-screen monitors in my classroom. Now we can actually work with images without having the computer lock up.

But I did have to take all the yearbook pictures off the district server, because I was eating up all their space (oops... hehe). At least now my classroom computer has CD-burning capability (not DVD, unfortunately, but you can't have everything I guess) so I won't have to fill up our little server. Next year I'm going to request one of these (not that I'll get it, but it never hurts to ask).

And on the same principle, I think I'm also going to request some *real* cameras with *real* lenses. Probably not Nikons, since they're so spendy... but there are some terrific DSLRs by Olympus and Canon that would fill the bill. Even just one good camera a year for three or four years would be a wonderful investment in not only the yearbook production but also the *real* photography education the kids could potentially receive.

My list of big-ticket items also includes a good kiln and pottery wheel, a computer projector and screen, and a classroom set of textbooks. I'm still deciding what textbooks to adopt; it's fun to have the POWAH to decide that kind of thing!

The coolest new food sensation!

Edible googly-eyes!



Blue & Red, are you reading this?!?

I am SO doing this. When I do, I promise to blog the pictures.

Another meme seen over at Dustbury

Premise: bold each of the statements that applies to you.

Original source: The list is based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. The exercise developers ask that if you participate in this blog game, you acknowledge their copyright.

Okay, I've acknowledged. And I acknowledge that somehow this is supposed to indicate how "privileged" or "advantaged" I was as a child. I'll admit straight-up that even though I grew up in a single-wide trailer, I was incredibly privileged and advantaged. I had bright young hard-working parents who loved me, I had terrific teachers, and great friends. It's all good.

Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor (my dad was in med school the whole time I was growing up, and now he's a doctor)
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers (most of them were friends with my parents because my mom was a teacher)
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home (My very best friends were books. I couldn't get enough of them. I would hide in my closet and read with a flashlight. If I was supposed to be cleaning my room, I'd find a long-lost book under the bed and start reading it.)
Were read children’s books by a parent (there was no way they could read to me enough to satisfy me, so I had a little record-player and books with records, and I'd listen to them so often I'd memorize them. If the reader was English, I memorized the book in an English accent.)
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house (does a single-wide trailer count?)
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child (I was an ONLY child until I was nearly fifteen, so duh, I had my own room)
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course (never cracked a single book and made a 30 on my ACT... I am just a good test-taker. Not much of a long-haul study-er.)
Had your own TV in your room in High School (I saved up my own money and bought a black & white TV for my room when I was 9 or 10)
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family (I've never been on a cruise EVER, and I'm pretty sure my parents haven't ever been on one, either.)
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family (even if I had known, it wouldn't have meant much to me because numbers just don't speak to me)

FEED ME

Got a frantic phone call from the theater coach at North Ruralville; he needed me to fill in for a musician who backed out. They're doing Little Shop of Horrors this weekend.

I laughed at him and told him that the only thing I've played for more than a YEAR is stuff out of the Baptist Hymnal, but he wouldn't take no for an answer.

I needed this! But I'm extremely glad it's THIS week and only THIS week. Ballyhoo is having their Semester Exam week, so my schedule is quite light. Positively providential, I'd say.

I don't know how wonderful this production of Little Shop is going to be, but I don't think I care. It's just fun to play in a band again.

Longing!

I want to do this so much!!!!!

Someday I will. My students will love it when we finally get to do it, too.

Tired

of being sick.

How long is a person supposed to cough? The nasty one I developed prior to Christmas never did go away completely, and now it's gotten bad again.

I'll be okay. Eventually.

Right?

If you should see a giant fireball in the sky somewhere over north Texas...

... you'll know it was our house, and that Martha has finally succeeded in burning our house down by forgetting to add the water to the ramen noodles before putting them in the microwave.

This is the third time she's done it. And the second time in two weeks.

The house smells like burnt popcorn times ten.

Back to the grindstone...

Tomorrow morning, we all get to wake up long before dawn and head back over to Ballyhoo again.

I needed to go over yesterday and get some tidying/organizing done in my classroom, but I seem to have come down with a lovely cold and I felt so horrible I ended up spending most of the day sleeping it off. Today I didn't feel quite so awful, so I went over after lunch. Rick and the kids came over to help a little bit later, which made the task easier.

The district's technoguru said that all my new computer equipment has arrived (hallelujah!!), and I wanted to make sure he had a nice clean spot to put all the yummy new toys. Of course, it's not there yet, so I decided to come back home to do the lesson-planning work. Using my current school computer (a Pentium III) (ha!) is very much like trying to sprint through waist-deep mud.

I'm going to bed in an hour. I don't want to oversleep.

It was funny; I hadn't been in my classroom in ten days, and I expected to feel totally bummed to have to be back. But I didn't! I was actually glad to be there and felt excited about seeing my students again tomorrow.

And now for something completely different... the Iowa caucuses are forefront in my mind, mainly because I have gotten a million forwarded mass e-mails from Iowa friends encouraging me to caucus for Huckabee.

Right.

Of course, it's useless to send me these, since I'm no longer a resident of Iowa. But if I were still there, I would NOT be caucusing for Huckabee. Just as I can't support someone with no record at all, I can't support someone who already has a track record of supporting tax increases and a less-than-solid border policy.

I'm quite sure that Huckabee is a genuine guy. If he ends up being the party's nominee, I'd certainly vote for him over any of the Dems. I won't be casting my primary vote for him, however. That still goes to Fred Thompson. I haven't seen anyone else who comes as close to my own political principles. Plus, I think that the Republican Party would be committing political suicide to put forth Huckabee as our nominee.

Are there any Republican candidates I would NOT cast a vote for? That's a tough one... I think Ron Paul is probably last on my list, but I'd probably even hold my nose and vote for him before I'd ever support Mrs. Clinton, Mr. Obama, or (God Forbid) the Breck Girl.

Time Waster

This one's good for a bit of time-wasting fun: Falling Sand

An iTunes/MadLibs meme

Saw this over at Gecko Rock's place.

Rules: Put your music player on shuffle, press forward for each question and use the randomly selected song title as the answer.

What does next year have in store for me?
"Life Support" from the soundtrack to Rent

What’s my love life like?
"Break Away" by Rascal Flatts

What do I say when life gets hard?
"Flash" by Queen

What do I think of on waking up?
"Another Saturday Night" by Cat Stevens

What song willdid I dance to at my wedding?
"Too Many People" by Jake Armerding

What do I want as a career?
"Cooties" from the soundtrack to Hairspray

My favorite saying?
"Money Changes Everything" by Cyndi Lauper

Favorite place?
"A Whole New World" from the soundtrack to Aladdin

What do I think of my parents?
"Thank God I'm A Country Boy" by John Denver

Where would I go on a first date?
"Southwest Wind and the Wheels of the World" by Dean McGraw & John Williams

Drug of choice?
"Unaffected" by Hoobastank

Describe myself.
"You Don't Know What You're Doing" by Debbie Davies

What is the thing I like doing most?
"Travelin' Band" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
"This Is Such A Pity" by Weezer

How will I die?
"Intro To Reality" by Anthrax

Interpret them as you will. I have no idea what any of them mean. It's just a meme, for Pete's sake.

To you from me

May 2008 be a
spectacular year for you!!