Special-ed meeting this afternoon

Today, we five Resource teachers and our SPED consultant were to meet with administrators and counselors to work out the scheduling snafu. We showed up. The SPED consultant showed up. That was it.

So we just conferenced between us, determining which students we DID see during the course of the day and which ones weren't being seen by anyone. We divvied up the ones we saw, in order to make sure that the person monitoring their IEP progress was someone they actually SEE during the school day. There were quite a few who are being seen by NO-ONE -- which is in direct violation of federal law.

Now realize what I say that we "see" a student, here's what I mean. For example, let's say I'm "collaborating" in a Conceptual Algebra class. Let's say there are six Resource students in that class. Theoretically, those students are being "served" as Resource students because I'm IN their classroom with them.

Where this goes awry is that each individual student has individual goals. Four of those six students may not even have a math goal; they're in Resource because of their low reading level. But they're being "served" in a MATH class.

It doesn't wash. Not even a little bit. And I found out today that during another meeting a few days ago, our school principal ADMITTED OPENLY that the reason we were doing "collaboration" was because we had NO SPACE. Not because "collaborating" is the best for the students. No, it's because we don't have anywhere to put them.

Big problem. Because SPED is a federally-funded program and they're short-shrifting it in our building because we don't have the space.

You don't get to "not have the space" for SPED programs.

This isn't an issue with regards to the one-cent local-option sales tax that didn't bring in as much $$ as they promised it would, in order to rebuild the city's crumbling school infrastructure. SPED isn't locally-funded. Yes, it's provided within locally-funded walls, but BY FEDERAL LAW they have to do it. You find broom closets to stick your Regular-Ed classes, but by golly you had better make sure you're not stiffing the SPED kids because you're getting Federal Dollars for each one of them to get a Free, Appropriate Public Education (FAPE).

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Please note that I am not agreeing that education should be within federal oversight. On the contrary, I think that whoever in the Fedrul Gubmint promised that they'd provide a FAPE for every single American child (and eventually every illegal immigrant child, too) was sentencing this country to eventual internal collapse under the weight of what's "Free", what's "Appropriate", etc.

But I'll be durned if they're going to keep this leaky tub adrift on the backs of MY STUDENTS, when they were supposed to use their allowance from Uncle Sam to make sure they were safe and sound.

We're already educating them in broom closets. My classroom last year was a closet, and it's still being used, just by another SPED teacher. The Athletic Director's office has even been converted into a classroom -- for eleven SPED students. Eleven BEHAVIORALLY-DISTURBED students.

I know there's no space at North High School, believe me. I know they can't just wave a magic wand and make space appear. But they do need to remember the Order of Operations, the Chain of Command, the Line of Succession... what have you. You want federal dollars, you make sure the federal programs are getting what they're supposed to. It's the way it is. Doesn't make it right, but it's what you NEA-types have foisted upon the nation, and now you'd better lie in that bed you made.

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I am not the type of person who enjoys making waves. On the contrary, I prefer to work in the background. But I am also a person who values principles and will doggedly stick to something when I know I'm right.

I would much rather cheerfully and quietly do my job and stay away from administrative-types as much as humanly possible. I wish I could continue doing that in good conscience now, but I can't.

Time for a meme

My brain is total sludge this afternoon, after my lovely after-school special-ed meeting, so the best I can come up with right now is to take up the meme at Lair Simon's blog, which he got from Elisson, which he got from... oww, that hurts my brain too much. Who cares where he got it.

Well, okay, it's probably some cool person's blog. But I don't have the neural capacity to chase it down right now.

Anyway, here's the meme:

The idea is to examine, in glorious detail, the Depths of Suckitude of the music that was popular when you got out of High School. Philosophy being, I suppose, that the music that was popular during the time you made that high school-to-college transition is the music that shaped your Sonic Consciousness.

Whatever.

Anyway, here's what you do. You go to the Music Outfitters website and type your high school graduation year into the search tool. Select the "list of the 100 most popular songs" and you will get the Raw Material for the next step in the process, which is to look through the list and decide which songs you hated, which ones you liked, and which one was your favorite.

Post the list on your Online Journal, striking through the songs you hated (or still hate) and boldfacing the ones you liked (or still like). Bold and underline your favorite song. No opinion? Leave it as-is.

It's painful to see what 1985 holds in the archives for our retch-inducement. Here's my list:

1. Careless Whisper, Wham!
2. Like A Virgin, Madonna
3. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham!
4. I Want To Know What Love Is, Foreigner
5. I Feel For You, Chaka Khan
6. Out Of Touch, Daryl Hall and John Oates
7. Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Tears For Fears
8. Money For Nothing, Dire Straits
9. Crazy For You, Madonna
10. Take On Me, A-Ha
11. Everytime You Go Away, Paul Young
12. Easy Lover, Phil Collins and Philip Bailey
13. Can't Fight This Feeling, REO Speedwagon
14. We Built This City, Starship
15. The Power Of Love, Huey Lewis and The News
16. Don't You (Forget About Me), Simple Minds
17. Cherish, Kool and The Gang
18. St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion), John Parr
19. The Heat Is On, Glenn Frey
20. We Are The World, U.S.A. For Africa
21. Shout, Tears For Fears
22. Part-Time Lover, Stevie Wonder
23. Saving All My Love For You, Whitney Houston
24. Heaven, Bryan Adams
25. Everything She Wants, Wham!
26. Cool It Now, New Edition
27. Miami Vice Theme, Jan Hammer
28. Lover Boy, Billy Ocean
29. Lover Girl, Teena Marie
30. You Belong To The City, Glenn Frey
31. Oh Sheila, Ready For The World
32. Rhythm Of The Night, Debarge
33. One More Night, Phil Collins
34. Sea Of Love, Honeydrippers
35. A View To A Kill, Duran Duran
36. The Wild Boys, Duran Duran
37. You're The Inspiration, Chicago
38. Neutron Dance, Pointer Sisters
39. We Belong, Pat Benatar
40. Nightshift, Commodores
41. Things Can Only Get Better, Howard Jones
42. All I Need, Jack Wagner
43. Freeway Of Love, Aretha Franklin
44. Never Surrender, Corey Hart
45. Sussudio, Phil Collins
46. Strut, Sheena Easton
47. You Give Good Love, Whitney Houston
48. The Search Is Over, Survivor
49. Missing You, Diana Ross
50. Separate Lives, Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin
51. Raspberry Beret, Prince and The Revolution
52. Suddenly, Billy Ocean
53. The Boys Of Summer, Don Henley
54. One Night In Bangkok, Murray Head
55. If You Love Somebody Set Them Free, Sting
56. Obsession, Animotion
57. We Don't Need Another Hero, Tina Turner
58. Material Girl, Madonna
59. Better Be Good To Me, Tina Turner
60. Head Over Heels, Tears For Fears
61. Axel F, Harold Faltermeyer
62. Smooth Operator, Sade
63. In My House, Mary Jane Girls
64. Don't Lose My Number, Phil Collins
65. All Through The Night, Cyndi Lauper
66. Run To You, Bryan Adams
67. Glory Days, Bruce Springsteen
68. Voices Carry, 'Til Tuesday
69. Misled, Kool and The Gang
70. Would I Lie To You?, Eurythmics
71. Be Near Me, ABC
72. No More Lonely Nights, Paul McCartney
73. I Can't Hold Back, Survivor
74. Summer Of '69, Bryan Adams
75. Walking On Sunshine, Katrina and The Waves
76. Freedom, Wham!
77. Too Late For Goodbyes, Julian Lennon
78. Valotte, Julian Lennon
79. Some Like It Hot, Power Station
80. Solid, Ashford and Simpson
81. Angel, Madonna
82. I'm On Fire, Bruce Springsteen
83. Method Of Modern Love, Daryl Hall and John Oates
84. Lay Your Hands On Me, Thompson Twins
85. Who's Holding Donna Now, Debarge
86. Lonely Ol' Night, John Cougar Mellencamp
87. What About Love, Heart
88. California Girls, David Lee Roth
89. Fresh, Kool and The Gang
90. Do What You Do, Jermaine Jackson
91. Jungle Of Love, The Time
92. Born In The USA, Bruce Springsteen
93. Private Dancer, Tina Turner
94. Who's Zoomin' Who, Aretha Franklin
95. Fortress Around Your Heart, Sting
96. Penny Lover, Lionel Richie
97. All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Don Henley
98. Dress You Up, Madonna
99. Sentimental Street, Night Ranger
100. Sugar Walls, Sheena Easton

FCC's 10th Anniversary service

Our church is celebrating ten years since it got started, and it was quite a shindig tonight. We had a worship service which included a choir, which we haven't really done before, then there was some preaching, and a concert by a gospel trio called Testify, and then a SoulFire concert and fireworks.











It was a phenomenally awesome evening and the stadium was packed. They started the fireworks during our last song, which was just outstanding. They hadn't warned us that they were starting them DURING the song, and when they first started popping, I thought we were shorting out something electrical on the stage. Then I realized WOW, it's the fireworks already! They were beautiful. They're also difficult to capture with my digital camera, but I did manage to get the one decent photo of them.

As you can see in the one photo, the sunset was absolutely gorgeous. The whole evening there were thunderheads to the south of us, but everything around us stayed clear and beautiful.

And now I'm dog-tired (and kinda doggy-smelling, too, I'd imagine, having sweated hard all day long).

Another big day for Isaac

My baby-boy got baptized tonight!





Something really cool -- Rick got to baptize his own dad about 20 years ago, and now he's baptized all three of his own children.

There were sixteen people who came to be baptized tonight at our big anniversary service at the football stadium; five of these were all members of the same family.

What a great night.

Guess what this is, Part 3

Okay, last try:


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Any guesses? How 'bout this one?



Still can't figure it out?
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Give up?



It's a Toyota Sienna mini-van, and it's sitting in my driveway! With my name on the title! How cool is that?

[happy dancing]

Guess what this is, Part 2

Here's another view of the item in question... again, fifty points to the person who specifically identifies what this comes from.

The birthday party

My baby boy can't count his birthdays on one hand anymore... he's SIX! He wanted a Chuck E. Cheese birthday (big surprise there), and MamaSue & Poppi came to visit from Texas for a couple of days, so we had a happy celebration.











The day before his birthday, I had romansroad practice at church. Jeff graciously sang "Happy Birthday" to Isaac.



On Sunday night, Tim and SoulFire had sung Happy Birthday to him, and on Wednesday night, the entire church choir sang to him. I'd say he was well-congratulated for his six-year achievement.

Guess what this is

Fifty points to the person who can specifically identify this photo.

101 Uses For a Tiny Toy Poodle

#7: Quick cleanups



I took a bag of shredded cheese out of the fridge and quite a lot of it accidentally spilled out onto the floor and onto the bottom of the refrigerator. I went to get the broom and by the time I had gotten back to it, Bijou had cleaned up every shred. So I opened the fridge and let her clean up the shreds that were in the bottom there, too.

School issues

Well, now that I have a couple of free moments that I wasn't expecting to have, I'll sit down and fill you in on what's casting shadows on an otherwise decent year of teaching. This may also give you a peek through the window into the world of public education... if you're not already familiar with it, that is.

I teach high school, specifically special education. Each special-ed student has what's called an "Individualized Education Plan" or IEP, which is a legal document specifying what the student's particular deficits are, what their goals are, and what the public school system is REQUIRED BY LAW to provide for them.

The students I serve are not severely disabled, for the most part -- mine are the ones who have significant learning disabilities causing them to have difficulty processing language or mathematics, etc... For the most part, my students travel in the general population of students, then come visit my classroom for one block. My class is called Resource, and in it we serve two purposes. First, we address each individual student's goal areas (for example, Ricky will complete his math assignments with 85% accuracy by May 2006); if they have trouble with math, we drill math and give tips on how to remember math facts, etc. If one has trouble reading with fluency, we read and we give tips on how to make reading less difficult. The second purpose of Resource class is to actually give each student assistance in completing their assignments from all their other classes. If the ninth graders are all doing a research paper, we hit that hard and reinforce what their English teachers are requiring them to know and do.

For some students with disabilities, this is all they really need -- some extra support and reinforcement. Otherwise, they can mingle into the general school population and be successful at regular-ed classes, and usually not even noticed by their peers as being "different" or "dumb" because they're not. They just learn differently. I sometimes like to think of myself as a translator, in a way... find what "language" each kid speaks and translate everything into that language. Resource class is a terrific, successful program that's been quietly helping kids succeed for years, in one form or another.

Enter a couple of wrenches into the works.

First is a buzzword called "collaboration." Someone from on-high somewhere in some ivory tower has decreed that too many students are being served in special-education classrooms... probably someone in the federal gubmint who's realizing just how federal money is being disbursed to public schools to educate the disabled population. Since, of course, some brilliant person passed a law sometime back there somewhere that obligated the taxpayers to provide Free, Appropriate Public Education to every single individual, regardless of their situation, that now means exactly that... meaning that because my daughter Alice is physically and mentally disabled, the public school system is required to provide adequate transportation for her (meaning, the school bus actually comes to our front door instead of making Alice walk a couple of blocks in the ice and snow, which she can't do). It's nice, certainly, but multiply that sort of individualized attention by millions and you find out that it's collapsing under its own weight. So the Feds have to lower this without sounding like they're going against what they've already said they HAVE to do... so to cut down on the billable SPED hours served to each student per school day, why not put Resource teachers into regular-ed classrooms to collaborate with the regular-ed teachers and help the SPED students who are in there? That way, we get rid of Resource class altogether except for one or two class periods. Sounds like a brilliant idea, right?

Problem. Five Resource teachers simply cannot cover every single regular-ed classroom that has SPED students in it... plus monitor all the 30 kids on their IEP roster, most of whom they never even see during the school day now, and make sure their IEP goals are being worked on and met.

Next wrench in the works which is factoring into this issue? There is NO SPACE in our high school building. We're already using every single broom closet and office space and hallway as it is. So to alleviate the space problem and address the "collaboration" buzzword at the same time, let's spread out the Resource teachers so thin we can't even see them anymore.

It's only a matter of time before the schools get sued by an irate parent who points out, quite accurately, that their child's IEP specifically states that they are to have a Resource class. I'm left wide-open for a lawsuit, myself, because I'm not providing what their children require.

It's a huge mess.

Please understand -- I totally enjoy working with the regular-ed teachers they've assigned me to work with. They're both awesome people. And I'm a very adaptable person; as I said last week, if they asked me to, I'd probably scrub floors with a toothbrush because I'm just thankful to have a job. But I'm not Superwoman. If you're going to ask me to scrub floors, you're going to have to realize that I cannot ALSO provide individualized education to each student in my charge. Pick one, and I'll do it cheerfully. I can't do both.

Obviously they aren't making me scrub floors. But do you see my dilemma? The four other Resource teachers and I are being spread so thin that we can't do ANY of the jobs adequately.

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Apart from that wrenching issue, I'll have a great year. I love my kids and love working with them. Most of the other teachers I work with are okay, too, as long as I don't have to sit in lengthy meetings with them. I am a generally cheerful person in the hallways of that school; I smile at everyone and make eye contact with everyone I can. I want it to work, and I want the kids to succeed, both educationally and personally.

I still actually preside over two fer-real Resource classes, and get to see a few of my "peeps" that I totally love... which makes all the trudging-through-crap worth it for me.

[sigh]

Jeff called me at school today to let me know that Neal (our drummer) had called to tell him that his mom (in Ohio) was gravely ill and that he had to leave immediately. This, of course, means that we have no drummer for Oakfest tomorrow...which means that romansroad won't be playing tomorrow afternoon.

Can I possibly convey to you just how disappointed I am? I'm not sure I can adequately express it.



Totally, totally, totally bummed.

UPDATE: Mom writes to remind me that it was just about this time last year that she was gravely ill and near death, and that we need to be praying for Neal and his mommy and his family. She's right, of course, and I'm ashamed of myself for being so selfish.

Couple of items of interest...

I don't have a lot of time this morning, but a couple of items in the news caught my interest yesterday:

2 Suspects, Parakeet Sought In Robbery

Yes, you read that right... a couple came in to the store; the woman had a bird on her shoulder that she kissed during the holdup.

Missing Boy Found With Sex Offender He Met Online

The money quote in this article? "The boy's mother said he'd been communicating with adults on the Internet despite safeguards and blocks she put on his computer." Huh? How about taking his computer away? I'm sure that never occurred to her. Although I know that there are computers in public libraries, and heaven knows the librarians wouldn't interfere in a budding relationship like that. Might as well provide that at home so you can at least know your son is cavorting with freaks online.

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Students arrive this morning. I'm actually relieved; it means that most of the first-of-the-year meetings are done and people will start sending e-mails to let us know the important stuff now.

Pray for me, though, if you get the chance. This is not shaping up to be a happy year; I'll fill you in later when I get more time.

Light posting

Blogging is going to be spotty for me this week... with students starting on Thursday and with evening band practices every night for multiple gigs this weekend, I'm pretty much booked up. I'll be doing well to check in to my University of Phoenix classes and fulfill those requirements.

This weekend is the humongous 10th-anniversary church service; it's going to be a humdinger of a deal. They're having it at the football stadium there in Norwalk, and it's at night instead of in the morning. I am really excited about it; the music should be really good -- but I have to admit that it wouldn't matter how well I played if the sound system wasn't good. I don't know what kind of sound system is going to be there that day, but I hope it's decent.

My head still hurts. I don't know why. I took drugs twice today to try to get it to go away, and nothing touched it. I'm taking more drugs and going to bed in hopes that I can sleep it off, whatever it is.

Day two

Still more meetings.

My head always aches when I have to sit in meetings, especially ones that don't let out even remotely close to on-time. The meeting I had this afternoon, could've been well taken care of in an e-mail. The throbbing has settled into the spot just behind my right eye, and naproxen has not made it go away.

I do, however, think that I will enjoy working with both of the regular-ed teachers who I've been assigned to collaborate with. The biology teacher is just wonderful, and the math teacher is as much (or more) of a cut-up than I am.

Tomorrow morning is the staff photo.

I'm finally beginning to get my desk arranged the way I like it, and it's beginning to look like "home." All the little knicky-knackys that I haven't seen all summer, are there to greet me -- my little glass polar bears, my VanGogh horse, my angel, my pictures, they're all dusted off and back on display. Tomorrow I have to unpack my classroom library books and get them sorted on our book tables.

And tomorrow, my wee son is six years old.

First day back

And you all know how much I loooooooove meetings, right? Hah.

Actually, I am tireder than a dead dog at the moment. I did get my computers moved and my desk one all wired into the system, downloaded my class lists, etc. Still got no input from anyone as to what "collaboration" is actually supposed to look like in practice. At this point I don't care; I'll work it out with each of my two collaboration teachers as to how they want the relationship to work.

When I checked into the computer, I found out that now not only are outside e-mail sources blocked from the system, but now blogs are blocked. Sooo, no blogging from school. Which is fine; I wouldn't have had time to, anyway.

Saw lots of familiar faces and was glad to see most of them. A couple of them, I'm steering clear of this year. I am a friendly and optimistic person by nature, but there were a few people who were just plain ugly to me last year. I have no interest in revenge behaviors, but I do know now who to trust and who to be politely distant from. Useful information in a school atmosphere, for sure.

I'm not at all ready for the kids to show up yet, though. Tomorrow morning I hope to be able to get my desk sorted out and things put where they're supposed to be.

In the meantime, like I said, I am super-tired. I think I'll lie down for a few minutes just to recharge.

Insomnia posting

So I can't sleep. In a few hours I'm going to be back at the high school, and my blissful sleep-late summer is over for the next ten months. [sigh]

Anxiety usually gets the better of me in situations like this. I know it's dumb; I shouldn't stress over it, but I always do. The "night before" anything new or important is invariably a sleepless one for me. I almost always have trouble sleeping on Saturday nights because I love Sunday mornings so much and I'm always a little afraid I'll set my alarm incorrectly and wake up late.

JoeMama always tells me that the greatest beauty of being a schoolteacher is SUMMER VACATION. Yes, I work like a cart-pony in the coal mines for ten months, but then I get two months off. It's worth it.

Until the cart-pony has to hitch herself back up to the cart.

I'm a total-and-complete night person. I am at my most alert, productive and creative beginning at about 8 PM and stretching through til about 2 AM. Great for a gigging musician, not so great for a teacher. By last spring I had found a rhythm which suited me; get up early and get to school, then take a nap when I get home so I can stay up a little later. I'll probably find a way to continue that pattern.

Youth Sunday

Today at my church was "Youth Sunday," highlighting the very vibrant and active youth ministry there. SoulFire led the Sunday morning worship and my new protege Kyle played the piano along with one of our songs.



Kyle is going into sixth grade and is a phenomenal musician, dancer, artist, etc... and a quick learner too. When SoulFire announced that we were going to train up a youth band to lead youth group worship, he prayed about it and felt that God wanted him to learn to play piano in worship. So I took him on as my "apprentice," so to speak -- which is exactly what I love doing. I feel selfish when I'm the only one who gets to enjoy doing what I do, so I feel it's incumbent upon me to train my replacement. How else are church musicians going to be trained up? Why should we in the church rely on the secular world to train our musicians for us? Anyway, Tim and Mark are working with the guitarists, and we're all helping out with the vocal team. I'd like to see the whole thing work on a discipleship model; people being trained, then replicating themselves, so to speak. Nobody ought to feel like their position should be permanent; what a waste!

One of the girls in the younth group approached me tonight and asked me if I'd be willing to be her mentor this year. I feel very humbled by this; I mentioned it to Blue Fish, who chuckled and said, "Oooh, you get to be an officially-sanctioned bad influence! Cool!" heh Seriously, though, I'm really excited to get to partner with this young lady. I may end up learning a lot more from her than she from me. In fact, I'm counting on it.

Bath Aftermath

I gave Bijou a bath tonight, and thought I'd see if I could capture the after-bath shakes on camera.





She was dashing around here, spritzing everything and everyone with water as she shook. I wish I could capture the funny sound it makes, but I don't have a mic for my laptop. Someday maybe...

Distant thunder

Saw this thunderhead tonight when Martha and I were leaving the church parking lot. Looks as though the folks down south of us were getting a little rain.



I thought the clouds looked cool with the setting sun shining on their tops.

Duh, yeah, I know... they're just clouds, after all. But sometimes I just like the way things look, so I grab the camera. To you they're just clouds, maybe, but to me they're brilliant, cream-colored billows against an intense blue.

When we were just a couple of blocks away from home, Martha and I saw this sunset:



Spectacular! God's a lovely artist.

Blue Fish izzinahouse!

Thought you might enjoy a couple of pics of Blue Fish while he was practicing with SoulFire this afternoon.





He has really been working hard to try to learn all our music and he has done a really great job. We are soooooooo indebted to him for helping us out.

Blue Fish, you rock!

I'm not complaining...

Okay, I guess I am, a little bit. I'm glad Rick has a job that pays decently. It's just that now that he's been shifted out to the plant floor, in the bindery, it seems to have changed everything. Now he's at the mercy of schedulers who give him mandatory overtime (more money, yes, but no Rick at home) even on the weekends, and he leaves early every morning and comes home late every night and he's dead tired.

What I hate most about this is that he's got so much more to offer than a plant job. I wouldn't be bothered if it were just a menial 9-5 thing because he's always had to have one of those. It's always been the way he's been able to be in the ministry and do what he's REALLY equipped to do. But now he's working so hard and so long at the plant that I'm not seeing that he has anything left to give.

It just started this past Monday. If it keeps up like it has been this week, I'm not sure how much longer he's going to be able to do it. Again, it's not that the work is hard; it's that it's hard AND that he has to do it for ten hours, six days a week.

I guess we'll live through it. We've always managed to make it before, and God has never led us anywhere without there being a purpose. I am thankful he HAS a job, and that I have a job now too.

I'm a leetle worried because the kids will be becoming latchkeys. Both Rick and I have to leave earlier in the morning than they do, so they're going to have to get themselves onto the bus. The bus for Alice and Isaac does come to our front door, however, because of her disabilities, which is a blessing. And then they'll be coming home before we do as well, so they'll have to let themselves into the house. I don't doubt they can do it; I had to do it when I was their age, and I survived. But I'm a mommy, and mommies worry.

Kooky

Hasn't this sort of thing been tried before, with unpleasant results?

Conservationist Plan Would Give Lions, Elephants a Home on the Range

People hoping to glimpse lions, cheetahs, elephants and other megafauna in their natural environment must journey to Africa's wildlife reserves. But if one group of ecologists and conservationists gets its way, safari-goers could soon head for the Great Plains of the U.S. instead.

In a report published today in the journal Nature, Josh Donlan of Cornell University and his colleagues propose replacing the large carnivores and herbivores that disappeared from North America 13,000 years ago, at the end of the Pleistocene epoch. Noting that humans likely had a part in these extinctions and that our subsequent activities have stunted the evolutionary potential of most remaining megafauna, the scientists say we have an ethical responsibility to address these problems.

Huh? Ethical responsibility? I hate it when scientists afflicted with God-complexes feel compelled to start saving the planet by suggesting insane ideas like bringing African animals and turning them loose in the US. Good grief, people. I'm all for managing resources and all, but doesn't the notion of "bringing foreign species to our country to solve some sort of ecological problem" have a bad track record? Kudzu comes to mind, for starters...

State Fair Champs

Y'all go on over to see Brent at Law & Disorder; his daughter's dance troupe just won their age division at the Iowa State Fair this afternoon!

Congratulations, Paige!

101 Uses For a Tiny Toy Poodle

Number 23: Recliner pillow for impromptu afternoon nap





Have I mentioned lately that Bijou really IS the perfect dog? She's actually awake under there, but she knows Isaac is asleep, so she's lying perfectly still.

Mom will win. Resistance is futile.

Martha (age 11) has been particularly obnoxious the past couple of days. I know why; it's because she's anxious about starting middle school next week and she's doing a regression thing. I feel for her, since I'm also deep in anxious denial about school myself. But nonetheless, there is no excuse for sassing Mom or pestering siblings unmercifully. This morning, she got grounded.

It's amazing how she changes when she's grounded. For example, whenever I make lunch, she demands to know what I've made, and if it's something that doesn't sound appetizing to her, she protests and sighs and acts like a nincompoop. I despise this behavior, but she is so doggone impulsive that no matter how I punish or flatly refuse to back down, she still does it.

Unless I isolate her.

Then she's so glad to get to come downstairs to the kitchen and mingle with other humans, she's as meek as milk.

I had some extra weenies from making hotdogs the other day, and I needed to get rid of them. So I made some black beans & rice and sliced up the weenies in it. Isaac and Alice were tickled; Isaac came to me and said, "Mom, you should make this EVERY day. Not the cucumbers, though." (I had sliced cucumbers to go along with it, since everybody's gotta have fresh veggies)

I braced myself as I called Martha down for lunch. She's notorious for disliking this kind of stuff, but hey, she's over a barrelhead at this point. She eats this, or she gets nothing, and no chance for snacking later because she's banished. Still, though, her impulses are so hard to overcome, I half expected her to make some nasty comment about it.

Nothing.

She quietly consumed her sliced cucumbers first. Then in a little while, she came to me and showed me her empty bowl of beans & rice. "Can I have some leftover corn-on-the-cob from last night? And I really liked the beans and rice, Mom. I never wanted to eat black beans because I thought they would be crunchy, but they're not."

Oh yes. I will win.

I heart Victor Davis Hanson

I once heard Brit Hume and Tony Snow (FOX news dudes) referred to as "intellectually drop-dead gorgeous" and I totally got that. I'm kind-of the same way... really hot-looking guys may be okay to look at, but to really light my fire, be brilliant in some other way... particularly intellectually. My Handsome Prince himself may appear ordinary to the eye, but he is quite simply the most intellectually and spiritually drop-dead-gorgeous person in the whole wide world. Brains and heart... much better than looks.

That's why I think Victor Davis Hanson, affectionally known to many as simply "VDH", is so awesome. His column today is spectacular. Particularly insightful:

In the age of utopianism we demand impossible standards of perfection. Then when they cannot be met, we conclude that we are not good at all, but the equivalent of a Pol Pot, Hitler, or Saddam himself -- an elected American president who is a worse terrorist than Osama bin Laden.

And in a war with enemies like few other in our recent history, the contrast between rhetoric and reality is only accentuated: panties over the head of an Iraqi inmate, no head at all on an American prisoner; Korans given to the enemy terrorists in jail, Bibles outlawed for visitors to our friends the Saudis; our elected president becomes a member of the "Bush crime family" as we worry about proper barristers for Saddam Hussein's genuinely criminal family. As we fear that we have fallen short of the postmodern therapeutic age, Islamic fascists brag they are avatars of the Dark Ages.

Go ye, therefore, and read it all.

New Year's Day!

For the Carnival of the Recipes, that is. The Carnival is beginning its second year of existence... and a Happy New Year #2 to all -- and happy eating as well. There's some yummy stuff there, and don't forget to check out the blogs that provided them. You might learn something.

God did some fascinating stuff when he made people. There are interesting people everywhere, and you can check out lots of examples by clicking through these blogs.

Quote for today

from my friend Nathan's blog, Chiefly Musing:

Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and fans a bonfire.

- La Rochefoucauld

Beef and Vegetable Kabobs with Sesame Lime Marinade

Thought this sounded lovely and summery... enjoy!

1 1/2 pounds beef top round, cut into 1.5-inch cubes
2 T sesame seeds
Juice from two limes
2 T vegetable oil
1 T soy sauce
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1/2 t tabasco sauce
2 medium zucchini, cut into 1-inch pieces
8 cherry tomatoes
2 medium onions, parboiled, cut into quarters

Place meat in a bowl or plastic bag. Combine sesame seeds, lime juice, oil, soy sauce, garlic and tabasco sauce; pour over meat. Cover. Refrigerate at least 5 hours, preferably overnight. Arrange 3 or 4 pieces of meat on each skewer. Reserve marinade. Arrange vegetables on separate skewers, alternating pieces of zucchini, tomato and onion. Brush meat and vegetables with marinade. Grill, allowing 15 to 20 minutes for meat and 10-12 minutes for vegetables.

Yields 4 servings.

Welcome, Carnival-goers! Check out the rest of my blog. You might find something there that you like.

Cheap labor

Rick came home from work today and put the kids to work painting the fascia boards he's about to put up.

No more pencils, no more books...

No more teachers' dirty looks.

Okay, scratch that last one. It's inevitable. Although it's unfortunate that the phrase "dirty look" attached to "teacher" has come to mean something entirely different in recent years. Anyway, I digress.

Check this article out:

Textbooks gone from Arizona high school

They've issued iBook laptop computers to all the students instead of textbooks. The article didn't say whether they're all wi-fi enabled or not.

I think it's an idea whose time has come. I am certainly finding the University of Phoenix system to be workable for me; they issue an e-text with each class, downloadable in PDF format, in either "Read" format or "Print Out" format, depending on your own preference.

As for the "no more teachers" thing, I think that might not be too far behind either... but I don't think that most kids at the high school level are prepared for the totally online learning environment. They need far too much supervision.

At any rate, this is an interesting development. I will be curious to see whether it catches on anywhere else.

The Breck Girl is back in town

John Edwards back in Iowa

Lock down your mirrors, gals.

I'd like to thank the Academy...

I'm watching Dennis Rader (BTK) speaking at his sentencing hearing. I'm amazed at how he's going on and on. He spent time talking about each of his victims, and compared himself to each of them. Now he's listing everybody who's helped him since he's been incarcerated. He referred to his victims as "people I, um, encountered..." Encountered? Is that what you call it?

He even complained about minor details in the prosecution's PowerPoint presentation. Nice touch, Rader.

Oh, good grief, now he's reading John 8:12, and then said... "Now that I confessed, I expect to be healed and have light. I hope someday God would accept me."

Apologies to the victims' families... "there's no way I could ever repay for what I've done to them."

For heaven's sake, he went on forever. He did admit that he has had a need to be "noticed" in the media. No kidding.

Chilling. Truly chilling. While I heard sadness and saw tears, I never heard him say anything like "I'm a sick creep." He called himself a "criminal" and said that he "wore a black hat" when comparing himself to the "white hats," or law enforcement officers. Those seem just a wee bit sanitized, considering the appallingly violent and sick nature of what he did.

Makes me shudder to even think of it. How many other Dennis Raders are out there? Listening to him talk, I can see how he came off as a decent, churchgoing fellow. I know personally that there are some very ugly sides to people who seem affable on the surface, and honestly, it creeps me out to think of how similar those people are to Dennis Rader in their demeanor. I don't think they're serial killers, by any stretch, but I do think that there are people who possess a similar propensity, perhaps to a lesser degree. I wonder just what triggers these people to step over the line and do something really, really awful? I wonder if there's any way to know?

This plays right into something I've talked about before, and that's HONESTY. Every single one of us has a dark side (not to the degree of BTK), but what separates us from people like that is that we face up to it and expose it. Rader operated in complete secrecy... his inner darkness was concealed from everyone, and his sociopathic nature enabled him to keep it under wraps. What might've prevented him from continuing down the path that finally led him to murder the Oteros is confession and exposure. When we're all truly accountable to one another under God, this vile behavior can't continue to occur. And accountability necessitates transparency. Not transparency after-the-fact, like BTK... transparency from the outset.

If I had anything I could pray for my own church, it would be that people in it could be HONEST and OPEN with one another. I've seen what can happen in churches where people aren't, and it's so completely destructive.

Corrupted OS

I'm not going to link back to his post, because I don't want him to think I'm picking on him because he's Jewish. I just thought this statement was completely truthful and insightful -- he's got it, and probably doesn't realize it. Here's the quote from his blog:

The IDF and police are storming Gaza synagogues to pull out the settlers holing up in there.

Those that condemned Israel for the Church of the Nativity siege and demanded that the Palestinian terrorists within be negotiated with are the same ones cheering on the forcible and brutal removal of these Jews.

They're also many of the same that shriek when Coalition forces in Iraq pursue terrorists right up to the door of a radical mosque, or shriek that Abu Hamsa Al-Masri should be allowed to stump for a caliphate-controlled British Islamic state at Finsbury or other hatemongering cesspools.

The human race is running on a seriously corrupted OS. Let me know when someone finds the install disks.

He's absolutely, positively right. The human race IS running on corrupt software. As for the install disks, I know where they are, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want them.

I really hate it when

I run out of hair products and don't have a spare.

Bit the bullet...

I forced myself... literally... to go back to my classroom today and try to get some things done.

[sigh]

My schedule this year puts me on the wander-from-room-to-room circuit. I do get to have a desk in a room that's not mine, or rather that I'm sharing with another teacher (who I love, so at least that won't be a problem).

All this meant that I had to take down all my cool tropical decorations. No more inflatable palm tree, no more Tahitian beach scenes. I need to start checking out the prices of wheelie carts.

At this point, I'll be honest here -- I'm just thankful to have a decent paying job. I'll clean bathrooms with a toothbrush during my planning periods if they tell me to. Don't tell the teacher's union that, though... they'd probably have a cow.

Fairblogging

Martha and I returned to the State Fair later, after dark, to check out the fine arts exhibits and see what judges consider winning watercolor art. Yes, I've got an ulterior motive of checking out my options for entering my own work in the fair.

I was not impressed with the Best In Show entry, to be perfectly honest. It was a portrait of a man done in automobile paint, and it reminded me of something one of the airbrush artists on the midway might've done (albeit, done well, but still). The first runner-up for Best In Show was an outstanding watercolor of a farmer at night, sitting in his barn with his head in his hands. Very moody, dark. Should've been Best In Show. And as for competing with the likes of that, I doubt I'd have even the remotest chance. It was better than a photograph... it was more realistic than anything a camera might capture, which seems impossible, but it was.

Martha and I wandered the Grand Concourse to check out our dining options.



There was the Deep Fried Twinkies stand. I considered it, momentarily, then regained my senses and kept walking.



Some children were having a keen time playing in the fountains just outside the Grandstand.



Martha chose a pork tenderloin sandwich the size of a dinner plate. She nearly polished off the entire thing, too. I took one look at that thing and just shook my head in disbelief.

I actually chose to try the "Bologna On A Stick" from the Pella folks. It's not unlike a smoked sausage in shape, but it wasn't one bit like the Oscar Meyer stuff either. It was quite good, to be honest.

While sitting at a picnic table finishing our Fair fare, I snapped a couple more pictures. Check out the interesting tree in this one:



And then this one:



After we left the fairgrounds, we had to make a run to Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries. While standing in line at the checkout, I spotted this for sale:



Talk about redundant...

Anyway, it's 2 AM and I'm dog-tired. G'night.

State 29 owes me for this one

Okay, State29, you owe me for this one.

I'm a regular reader of that particular Iowa-centric blog, even though the anonymous collective tends to lean left of center in some things. One thing this morning piqued my interest, however... State29 said that gubernatorial candidate Ed Fallon was competing in the accordion contest at the Iowa State Fair today at 2:30. I did some quick mental calculating and decided I could probably make it out there if I timed things right. I grabbed the camera and the notepad and the three kids, and we dashed over to the Fair.

When we entered Pioneer Hall, the first-prize winner in the harmonica contest was performing. Holy smokes, that guy was good. I don't think I've ever heard a Bach/Ravel medley on harmonica.

During the Button Accordion division, I wrote the following in my notepad: "State29 owes me $20 (the cost of admission for myself and the kids) for having to sit through all this squeezebox action." Thankfully there were only three of those. Then the Keyboard Accordion division got underway. I didn't pay too much attention to the first couple of folks, but then OMG, #804 actually had on a COSTUME with white spats and everything. On his straw hat he had a large button with a photo of a woman and, from what I could gather from that distance, the dates of her birth and death. There's a memorial for ya.

#805 was a white-haired granny doing a medley of hymns: "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms," "Are You Washed In the Blood of the Lamb?," and "Amazing Grace." Not bad, either. She finished up with some polka number that I am, um, unfamiliar with. Thank God.

#806 was my very own Iowa congressman and candidate for Iowa governor, Ed Fallon. He actually started out with "Lara's Theme" from Doctor Zhivago and he had me at that one. Very lovely playing, truly. He's a talented guy; I'm actually impressed.



#808 was a woman with short hair and the fastest fingers I've ever heard/seen. She's going to win this. Her dynamics and expression were spot-on.

#810 is a little girl with blonde braids and a Swedish-looking costume dress. Very, very cute. Isaac leaned over to me and whispered, "Mom, she's very pretty. Would you get a picture of her?" [sigh] My little boy's already twitterpated, it seems. hehe

A few more contestants to suffer through, then the awards ceremony. Congratulations to Ed Fallon for his second-place finish, and to the short-haired lady with fast fingers (Sherry Head, I believe was her name) for coming in first. Each contestant spoke briefly and introduced themselves; the emcee mentioned that Ed Fallon was actually running for governor, and Fallon said, "It's about time Iowa had an accordion-playing governor!" which garnered chuckles from the audience (mostly geezers, big surprise there). He also mentioned that he plays seven instruments, but that the accordion takes the most courage to play in public, so that's why he was there. Hey, I can respect that.



I briefly caught up with Fallon after the competition and spoke to him. His inspiration, he said, was his grandmother. I asked him if he was at all inspired by the recently-passed Myron Floren of Lawrence Welk fame and he said, "Oh, I used to watch him, but only under duress because my parents were watching The Lawrence Welk Show."



Whatever his Green-ish views, Ed Fallon really is a very nice fellow, and I respect him for steering clear of PAC money and shady contributions. Iowa could certainly do lots worse than elect him for governor. He'd be a major improvement over the current lot of charlatans. Just sayin'. I'm not particularly thrilled with any of the other candidates from either major party. Fallon has a pretty good chance of getting my vote.

SoulFire music

While I was in a music-clipping frame of mind this weekend, I also made some quick clips of SoulFire's original music. You can give them a listen here... and you'll have the chance to order your own CD if you like what you hear!

Get serious, MLB

Steroid Penalty Over, Palmeiro Back in O's Lineup

If Major League Baseball is serious about getting its integrity and credibility back up, they'll make a no-doping policy with actual teeth. First positive test, you're out. Forever. They'd quit taking the junk if it meant their pro ball career was over.

Why do I want to pay $20 per ticket to see a bunch of cheaters?

My song

Jeff Arrandale is the worship leader at my church, and he's just amazing. I've been working on developing the site for Jeff's band, RomansRoad, which I'm also part of. It's still under construction, but if you go here and click on the "Redemption" clip, you'll be able to hear a clip of the song Jeff wrote using some of the lyrics that I had written. The one called "Count Your Blessings" is also an original; he took the lyrics from the traditional hymn and re-worked them into a new musical arrangement.

There are a lot more to come. Not tonight, though.

Don't look too closely at the wonky site design; I'm still working on it. As you can see by the time stamp on this post, I am up waaaaaaaay too late dinking around with this. I have to be back up by 5 AM. Thank the Lord for creating Sunday afternoon naps.

Forty more than should've been

Fidel is still alive. He's 79. He never should've made it past 40.

Viva libertad. Cuba deserves to see the end of this man and all that he has stood for.

The eating machine

My eleven-year-old daughter Martha is eating everything in sight these days. She's already within an inch of being as tall as me (which isn't saying much, but still!), and at supper tonight she ate a full plate of pork, carrots and cucumber slices and THEN proceeded to consume two PB&J sandwiches. TWO!

Good grief.

Notice in the picture below, how at eleven years of age, she has already begun to master the "teenage girl stance."



I can't believe she's about to start middle school in a few days. Where did my chubby-cheeked fussbudget go? Oh, wait... she's still here. Just bigger and fussier. Hey, at least she's potty-trained.

UPDATE: SirKevin says this pose is really the perfect pre-teen 'tude stance...

Vegetable shopping

Our pastor's wife, Lisa, is an avid gardener and has a huge spread with three separate vegetable gardens on it. She takes the produce and puts it on a little cart beside their house (which sits right on the main highway) and has an honor-system vegetable stand. I like to take a detour down there sometimes and buy some fresh veggies from their garden.

Today the kids and I were stir-crazy, so we got in the van and drove to Norwalk and then south on the highway toward the Jones' house. I pulled up alongside the stand and bought a nice big cantaloupe, some cucumbers and some tomatoes. Then the kids spotted Anna, the pastor's daughter, and everyone had to get out and run around and play for a while. It was nice to stand and talk to Lisa; they have such a nice place out there with so much room to run. Isaac kicked off his flipflops and ran like a madman all around the yard, chasing the kittycats and chatting with Aaron, their teenage son.

Aaron is quite a fellow, himself. He showed me his water garden pond, resplendent with waterlilies and other interesting vegetation.



He also raises chickens and sells the eggs. Here's a picture of him pushing Isaac in their tree swing.



It's amazing to see a teenage boy that's so industrious and friendly, not at all sullen and bad-tempered and withdrawn. He's not a weird geeky kid, either. He's an excellent athlete and plays video games... in other words, he's normal. Just not in a bad way.

Refreshing. That's how I always feel after I've been to their house. Nice, nice people.

Yowza!!

This week's Carnival of the Recipes is over at Blonde Sagacity and it's done-up in fancy-schmancy restaurant style!

The Carnival of the Recipes is a very, very cool thing... bloggers who talk about all kinds of other stuff all the time, take time to share their favorite recipes, and you get to try some new eats. Take the time to visit the blogs on the list and browse around to see what else they talk about... you never know, you might find some new must-read-daily kinds of blogs.

Coconut Catfish

This one's pretty tasty; if you don't care for catfish, any type of fish fillet will work. If you don't do fish, try chicken.

2 lbs fish fillets, fresh or frozen (thawed)
2 cups butter-cracker crumbs
1 cup flaked coconut (not the kind with added sugar)
Small amount of white flour
2 eggs, beaten
2 tablespoons evaporated milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cooking oil

Cut fillets into serving size portions. Combine cracker crumbs and coconut. Combine eggs, milk and salt. Coat portions with light dusting of white flour, then dip into egg mixture. Drain, then coat portions with crumbs/coconut mixture. Heat oil in skillet, and fry fish over moderate heat for 5 to 8 minutes or until browned on both sides and fish flakes easily. Drain on absorbent paper and serve with the following sauce:

Sweet-Sour Sauce

1/2 cup apricot or plum preserves
1/4 cup ketchup
1/4 cup light corn syrup
Juice of one-two limes (enough to make 2-4 tablespoons)
1/4 teaspoon fresh ginger

Combine ingredients and simmer for 2 to 3 minutes. Serve over fish.

Lunchtime fun

Sometimes my pal and I like to head north (normally, north is NOT the direction we'd prefer to go!) and visit a restaurant called Hickory Park in Ames. They make great smoked meats and barbecues and ice cream sundaes, and it's a real treat to eat there. I took a picture of all our kids after we were finished, as we were leaving, and I thought it was cute enough to share.



I had the pork sandwich and a coffee-fudge sundae.

It's worth the 25-minute drive sometimes, y'know?

The weirdos are at it again

Fred Phelps and the Westboro Wackies are busy again. This time they're bothering the families attending funerals of slain US soldiers. This makes me really, really mad.

This guy is going to send the soldier's family $1 for each person who links to his post. I'm linking to it. If you have a blog, consider linking to it, too.

Finished project

Okay, I can finally post a pic of the project I finished last week. It was for a friend's birthday, and her husband had commissioned it. It's in the same style as the flag I painted for Sir Kevin, except it was on a full sheet of watercolor paper. Their decor theme is Americana, so this probably fits right in.



Here's a closer view of it:



He told me yesterday evening that she really liked it, so I guess it was a success.

Yes, I do take commissions. I'm working on a couple right now, actually... one that my Dad asked me to do several months ago and I didn't have time, and one for a friend.

Self-image and acceptance

Just read a post by Red Fish over at Purple Fish Guts that's got me to thinkin'. Dangerous, I know, but it happens sometimes.

Anyway, back to RF's post. Here's a piece of it:

I struggle with mistrusting people who have a picked-up and clean house if I happen to drop over unexpectedly. Lots of us clean and pick up when we are expecting company, but I don't relate to people whose houses are always perfect. For some reason I don't trust them.

Thankfully, she doesn't have that problem with ME, since I couldn't keep house to save my life. I can do it for brief spurts, but then my attention goes elsewhere and I just forget.

I did, for a while, however, have this same problem. It wasn't with people with clean houses, though. It was with thin people. I think that, in my mind, I was inferior to thin (read: anyone not overweight) people because I myself did not belong to their ranks. Somewhere along the way, I got the idea that because I was overweight, I was looked-down-on by anyone who wasn't overweight, so I just saved them the trouble of sneering at me by refusing to even be friends with them. In other words, pre-emptive rejection -- I diss you before you ever get the chance to diss me.

Down deep, however, this attitude stemmed from a profound sense of inferiority. The only thing I ever heard (and still often do) is that when a person is "overweight," it's a sign of laziness, sloth, and excess. Through the years I internalized this and assumed that I was worthless. It did not matter how talented I was... how beautifully I drew or painted, how skillfully I played the piano or sang... I was fat, and that alone defined me. "Defective" would have been too easy an epithet, because it would insinuate that I wasn't responsible somehow. No, I was fat and it was my own doing. It was a moral issue, and I was obviously immoral.

Conversely, people who were NOT fat were morally superior and more valuable.

Somewhere along the way, however, I have come to realize that this is a complete lie, on many different levels. First of all, bodies are all quite different and unique, and equipped with different tendencies and shapes. You really don't get to choose your shape, as much as you'd like to think you do. Some thin people are just thin, even when they eat a Snickers at every meal and never exercise on purpose. Some fat people really are just that way. Yeah, if they starve themselves, they can become thin for a while, but their bodies almost inevitably rebel against this and figure out a way to get back to where they're most comfortable. Some people actually have something wrong with a biological system, resulting in thinness or fatness. Some people do overeat. It's a wide spectrum of issues and cannot be neatly distilled. It certainly has NO business as the basis for judgment of anyone's character.

In the past seven years since I had gastric stapling surgery, I've had the privilege of meeting literally thousands of other individuals who have also undergone bariatric surgery. I find that each one of them has had to walk a different path, and have different experiences before and after surgery. Some of them become ill from losing too much weight. Some lose almost no weight at all. Most land somewhere in between the two extremes. Almost everyone finds that being thinner does not change who they are, and if they didn't like who they were before, they're still not going to like themselves. For some, this realization is too much to bear.

For me, I landed somewhere in the middle. I'm still fat, although not nearly to the extent that I was in 1997. I lost about a hundred pounds, and then my body equalized itself and I gained back about half that. So sue me. I'm not exactly porking out on french fries every day or anything; in fact, I still have trouble with many foods and end up having to puke two or three times a week on average. It doesn't seem to matter what I do or don't eat, though. I stay at my current weight regardless. So why make myself miserable over it? I'd rather not, personally. Yes, it would probably help if I were more physically active. I don't have the time or inclination to exercise, and I think it's a colossal waste of time that I could be spending playing the piano or painting or reading or writing or learning about something on the internet.

Besides a few pounds, something else I have gained over the past eight years is the understanding that my worth as a human being has NOTHING to do with my body shape. It's not an indicator of anything other than simply that -- my shape.

Something significant that has brought me to that understanding, besides having a husband whose love and acceptance of me has never once been based on my appearance, has been having a non-overweight best friend. I discovered that people who aren't fat have "issues" too! And if my friend can have some of the same mistaken and warped body-image issues that I do, it must not really have anything to do with reality.

Conversely, if someone who's "thin" has the mistaken notion that I am somehow inferior to her because of my body shape, then SHE is the one who's wrong and who has a problem -- not me. That's what I now understand when I hear people like Dr. Laura Schlessinger come down on fat people -- obviously all they need to do is exercise and eat less and they'll be morally superior, right? Sorry, Doc -- it isn't that simple. God gave you an energetic and hyperactive body. He didn't give me one of those. Deal, k? Spend your emotional energy elsewhere. I'll do my best to keep myself as healthy as I can, but I'm not going to spend so much time and energy doing that that I neglect to foster the things I'm really good at and enjoy doing.





I wasted too many years trying to be someone I wasn't: a tidy housekeeper, a thin person, a meek-and-quiet-wife-and-mom... and while people who ARE those things are just fine if that's the way God made them, those things are NOT me. And I have mostly gotten past the hangups that prevent me from being friendly to people -- because first of all, I happen to know now that every single person walking the planet has issues and problems and that no-one is either superior or inferior to me -- and second, that the act of being friendly to someone in and of itself will overcome whatever hangups the two of us may have about one another.

Sure, come over to my house. I'd love to have you. If an untidy household bothers you to the point that you can't get past it in order to be my friend, though, then it's your loss.