My son, the warrior

Isaac asked me to take a picture of him with his weapon.



The thing that has taken me by surprise the most has been that despite his compliant and sweet nature, he's a warrior on the inside. Very different from my girls, and different from me when I was a little girl as well. There's a fierceness within him that burns brightly at times; can you see it in his eyes in that picture? He may be small, but he means business and he's not kidding.

I've encouraged him to watch out for his sister Alice and to be her protector when they're riding the school bus, etc. He takes this role very seriously. He's not a bully or a big talker, but he's also quite unafraid to defend and do what's right.

I'm thinking of enrolling him in Tae Kwon Do this spring. I don't know where we'll get the $$, but I think it would be worthwhile for him. He's got the quiet resolve and fearlessness and self-discipline that such an endeavor would require.

Life in a northern town

Wasn't that a song or something? By Dream Academy, I believe... anyway, here's what our street looks like tonight.

Communist ghost?

Lenin's ghost haunts his museum

The director of Russia's Lenin Museum says the ghost of the former soviet dictator is haunting the building.

Maja Obraszowa, head of the museum located in Vladimir Ilyich Lenin's former house in Samara, says staff often hear footsteps and see furniture moving, as well as other inexplicable phenomena.

Obraszowa said: "We walked into the master bedroom one morning and saw the bed had been slept in, even though the door was locked all night.

"And we can often smell apple cake, which was his favourite food, even though there is no bakery near here."

The ghost story emerged after a group of school children visiting the museum swore to have smelt fresh coffee while looking at the former revolutionary's ancient coffee machine.

Lenin studied law in Samara from 1887 to 1891. His body is on display in the red square though many Russians feel it should be removed and given a Christian burial.

1. The ultimate irony! The dude who spearheaded the Communist Revolution, given a "Christian" burial (whatever that is -- does the New Testament specify anywhere how dead bodies are supposed to be buried?). He and his pals did everything they possibly could to eliminate religion from Russian society altogether. A Christian burial... so, Mr. Ghost, how do you like them apple-cakes?

2. I think it's really weird to display someone's preserved shell and have people file past it and look at it. Whatever brought that tradition about, I think it's actually kind-of sick and repulsive. The whole notion of preserving someone's shell to make it look as close to "alive" as possible, then purchasing an inordinately expensive wooden case lined with satin and velvet and putting the shell in it and burying it in a specially-bought parcel of ground and erecting an expensive granite marker over the spot -- I just think that's bizarre. Honestly. And for that matter, a highly lucrative racket.

When I go home to be with my Lord, toss my shell in the dump. Okay, I know that isn't legal, so do the next most logical thing and cremate it. If it's really important for you to commemorate my life, take the leftover ashes to Tahiti, scatter them on a remote beach somewhere, then enjoy yourself on my behalf.

15

This coming Friday marks fifteen years of marriage for Rick & me.

Any suggestions as to how to celebrate it?

Turkish Delight!!!

To celebrate the upcoming release of the movie "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe," I thought I'd share a recipe for the famous -- or infamous -- Turkish Delight:

Zest of 1 medium lemon
Zest of 1 medium orange
1/4 cup (2 fl oz) orange juice
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 cups super-fine sugar
1/2 cup (4 oz) water
2 tablespoons gelatin
1 cup (8 fl oz) water, extra
2/3 cup cornstarch
3-4 drops orange or rose flower water
red food coloring
1/2 cup powdered sugar

Line base and sides of a square cake pan with aluminum foil, leaving edges overhanging. Brush foil with oil or melted butter. Combine zest, juices, sugar and water in large heavy-based pan. Stir over medium heat without boiling until sugar has completely dissolved. Brush sugar crystals from side of pan with a wet pastry brush. Bring to boil, reduce heat slightly and boil without stirring for 5 minutes or boil until your candy thermometer reaches 221F (105C). Combine gelatin with 1/2 cup (4 fl oz) extra water in bowl. Stir over hot water until dissolved. In separate bowl combine cornstarch with remaining water, mix until smooth. Add gelatin and cornstarch mixtures to sugar syrup. Stir over medium heat until mixture boils and becomes clear. Stir in flower water and a few drops red food colouring. Strain mixture into pan; refrigerate overnight. When set, peel off foil and cut into squares. Roll in powdered sugar.

Extract of White Witch Enchantment is strictly optional... however, I'd avoid it if I were you. Particularly if you dislike being cold, or if you love Christmas.

What about the survivors?

Would you believe that some babies actually survive an abortion attempt? In the UK, at least 50 of them do each year, according to this article.

In practice, according to Stuart Campbell, former professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at St George's hospital, London, a number do survive.

"They can be born breathing and crying at 19 weeks' gestation," he said. "I am not anti-abortion, but as far as I am concerned this is sub-standard medicine."

The number of terminations carried out in the 18th week of pregnancy or later has risen from 5,166 in 1994 to 7,432 last year.

That's seven THOUSAND late-term abortions in the UK last year. Of course, if you're only worried about the botched ones that live through the procedure, that's, what, six tenths of one percent? Probably one of the better statistics for surgical procedure success rates. But if you're like me and you're just simply appalled at that number, well, just imagine that in the United States alone, since 1973 when abortion was legalized, there have been nearly forty-six MILLION legal abortions (using data through 2002). Anyway, back to our article:

Prenatal diagnosis for conditions such as Down syndrome is increasing and foetuses with the condition are routinely aborted, even though many might be capable of leading fulfilling lives. In the past decade, doctors' skill in saving the lives of premature babies has improved radically: at least 70%-80% of babies in their 23rd or 24th week of gestation now survive long-term.

Abortion on demand is allowed in Britain up to 24 weeks -- more than halfway through a normal pregnancy and the highest legal limit for such terminations in Europe. France and Germany permit "social" abortions only up to the 10th and 12th weeks respectively.

Doctors are increasingly uneasy about aborting babies who could be born alive. "If viability is the basis on which they set the 24-week limit for abortion, then the simplest answer is to change the law and reduce the upper limit to 18 weeks," said Campbell, who last year published a book showing images of foetuses' facial expressions and "walking" movements taken with a form of 3-D ultrasound.

The Department of Health was alerted three months ago to the issue of babies surviving failed terminations. In August clinicians in Manchester published an analysis of 31 such babies born in northwest England between 1996 and 2001.

"If a baby is born alive following a failed abortion and then dies (because of lack of care), you could potentially be charged with murder," said Shantala Vadeyar, a consultant obstetrician at South Manchester University Hospitals NHS Trust, who led the study.

A systematic investigation of data collected through the CEMACH indicated that there are at least 50 cases a year nationwide in which babies survive abortion attempts.

"First sight of our data suggests this is happening," said Shona Golightly, the agency's research director. She said official confirmation of the figures would be available next year.

It is not known how many babies who survive attempted abortions go on to live into adulthood.

Paul Clarke, a neonatal intensive care specialist in Norwich, has treated a boy born at 24 weeks after three failed abortion attempts. The mother decided to keep the child, who is now two years old but is suffering what doctors call "significant ongoing medical problems."

The woman who tried to kill him is now allowed to keep him... that makes a lot of sense to me. Don't they put moms in jail for attempted murder, and doesn't a horde of social workers descend upon her to remove ALL her children from her care? Anyway, if a doctor performs a late-term abortion, botches it to the point that the baby lives through the procedure, then dies because it wasn't given adequate care, and the doctor gets charged with murder... then why wasn't this mom charged with attempted murder, and why wasn't this little boy removed from her custody? I know, I know... but please, people, can we not just either take responsibility for what we do OR remove all responsibility completely? Either it's okay to kill a baby or it isn't. Make your "choice" folks, since it's all about choice for you. You can twist and bend and contort the law just so far before it becomes completely contradictory and ridiculous.

The issue will be highlighted by Gianna Jessen, 28, who survived an attempt to abort her. She is to speak at a parliamentary meeting on December 6 organised by the Alive and Kicking campaign, which is lobbying for a reduction of the abortion limit to 18 weeks.

Jessen, a musician from Nashville, Tennessee, was left with cerebral palsy but is to run in the London marathon next April to raise funds for fellow sufferers.

"If abortion is about women's rights, then what were my rights?" she asked.

"If people are going to talk about abortion, then it's important for them to know that these are babies that can be born alive and survive."

Like father, like son

Every once in a while, I encounter a blatant reminder that Isaac is most definitely, through-and-through, the son of his father. He may have my toes and my nose, but he thinks like his daddy.

This morning, I was in the kitchen pouring my Pepsi before leaving for work, and Rick came into the room in a huff. “I can’t believe how many checks I have to write each month now.” He began thumbing through the check register, counting [out loud] the checks he’d written in October, then comparing the amount to the number already written for November. “This is the first time EVER that I’ve had to use more than one register-book to record all the checks for one year,” he sighed ruefully. “Ridiculous.”

??

I just looked at him blankly, ‘cuz I got nothin’. He actually got up from his chair in the living room and walked back to the kitchen to tell me this.

Just then, Isaac came downstairs and announced, “Guess what, Dad? I figured out how to flush the toilet only one time instead of three every time I go to the bathroom!”

Aaack!!

Belding's Ground Squirrels live in a different place than they did a hundred years ago. And you should care about this... why??

Well, duh, nincompoop. Don't you know? It means that we're all doomed.

A meme

Saw this one over at Yippee-Ki-Yay! and thought it looked like fun. Mom, if you're reading, move along. Nothing to see here, ok?

Question: "Have you ever....?"

Smoked a cigarette or tried it: Yes

Crashed a friend's car: No

Stolen a car: No

Been dumped: Yes

Shoplifted: No

Been fired/laid off: Yes

Been in a fist fight: No

Snuck out of your parent's house: Yes

Been arrested: No

Gone on a blind date: Yes

Lied to a friend: Yes, but usually only when they've asked me for a loan

Skipped school: Umm, yeah

Seen someone die: Yes

Been to Canada: Yep

Been to Mexico: Yep

Eaten Sushi: Love it

Met someone in person from the internet: heavens, yes -- more than I can count

Taken painkillers: Very rarely, and only post-surgery. I don't like the way they make me feel.

Had a tea party: When I was a little girl, yes

Cheated while playing a game: Yes

Fallen asleep at work: Yes, but only when I've been taking an antihistamine -- those things always knock me out.

Used a fake ID: No

Felt an earthquake: No

Touched a snake: Yes

Been robbed: Yes, our house was broken into and our electronics stolen back in 1999.

Petted a reindeer/goat: Yes

Won a contest: Sure, lots of times. Piano contests, spelling bees, art contests mostly.

Been suspended from school: No. I would've sooner died than gotten in trouble at school. I was terrified of being in trouble.

Been in a car accident: Yes

Had braces: No

Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night: At least!

Witnessed a crime: Sure, I've seen drug deals go down lots of times.

Swam in the ocean: Yes, on both coasts and the Gulf of Mexico.

Sung karaoke: No, but I'm about to have my first karaoke experience at the wedding reception of Frank J. and SarahK.

Paid for a meal with only coins: Sure, in college when I was dirt-poor and that was all I had. I've never done it purposefully as a way to be mean to a waitress, though.

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose: Yes

Been kissed under mistletoe: Oh yeah

Crashed a party: No. I'm not a big party-person, and I don't always go even when I've been invited, so it's unlikely I'd ever show up UNinvited anywhere.

Worn pearls: Absolutely. I have a beautiful strand that my dad gave me when I graduated from college.

Jumped off a bridge: Yep... my pal Kimmer and I used to jump off bridges into creeks to wade around and catch crawdads. They weren't terribly high, of course.

Ate dog/cat food: Not that I knew of

Kissed a mirror: EWWW!!! No!!!! That is just sick.

Glued your hand to something: Yes, I've had numerous SuperGlue accidents. I try to avoid the stuff now because I just don't have good luck with it.

Done a one-handed cartwheel: Not beautifully, but yes

Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours: Not a chance. I don't like talking that much anyway.

Didn't take a shower for a week: No, that's just nasty

Picked and ate an apple right off the tree: Sure, lots of times. Other fruit, too.

Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot: No, not a chance. I've never had head-turning looks in my life. I've accepted this about myself and have understood for a long time that if I'm ever to be noticed, it'd have to be for my brains or my sense of humor or my talent. I figure God gave me extra of a few of those others to make up for the lack of physical attractiveness.

Okay, now it's your turn.

Rock stardom

Or at least, now I can sort-of look like a rock star...



This is the new double-stack piano stand that Jeff bought a couple of weeks ago. Yes, I've already suffered through innumerable versions of "Are you sure you can see to play that top one?" or "Should we get you a stool to stand on?" YES, I can see the top one. Without standing on my tiptoes, even.

Brain teaser

CHINK, TRANCE, STAIN, CHIME, TUBA and PERK.

These words all belong to the same logical family. Which of the following words also belongs to that family?

GERMANE, EMBARGO, BANANA and NIGHTMARE

Click here for the answer.

Isaac's Santa story

Yesterday I was tired of the endless cartoons on television, so I turned it off. "Write me a story about Santa," I said.

Isaac dutifully got out paper and pencil and began to write. Later he handed it to me. On the paper were two drawings of Santa; one with a sad expression on his face, then the other with a really really angry expression. Between the two Santas was a bi-directional arrow. The caption read:

one day Santa
DiD'nt hav enyone
to Go to he over
ReYact

Translation: "One day, Santa didn't have anyone to go to. He overreacted."

Can someone tell me where a six-year-old boy comes up with stuff like this?!?

Family meeting

At tonight's family meeting (we have those about once a week or so), Rick talked to us all about love. It's fun to hear the kids respond to him, too. They all totally enjoy the family meetings and have lots of suggestions as to subject matter. Martha wanted to do Bible verses. Isaac wanted to lead one himself.

We didn't really have family meetings when I was a kid, but they probably would've seemed odd because I was an only child until I was in high school. Pretty much every time we were together was a family meeting.

Certainly Rick's family never had such a thing as a family meeting; his parents rarely spoke to one another at all.

So I'm not sure where Rick came up with the notion of having family meetings; I think they just naturally arose from situations he was noticing that needed to be addressed in a group format. I'm glad we have them, though. They seem to be what works for us, anyway.

Shopping story

Brent over at Law & Disorder had a near-death experience at Wal-Mart this morning.

Things are looking up

I know I said I wasn't going to talk about this subject, but I do want to share whenever something good happens.

Tonight, as Rick and I stood to pray with Isaac and Alice in their room at bedtime, I invited Martha to come stand with us, and I held out my hand.

Any other time before, she would angrily refuse. Tonight she actually came over and HELD MY HAND and prayed with us. In fact, ever since she began taking a low dose (2.5 mg) of a drug called Abilify every morning, she has begun to show signs of willing participation in family life. She speaks to us rationally... makes accurate observations... and just generally connects in ways she never did before.

My heart is glad. Maybe it sounds like no big deal to you, but to me, it means more than I can express. It's a glimmer of hope for things to come.

I do not plan to go stand in line at some store waiting for the doors to open in another hour. There ain't too many bargains I'd say were worth that. In fact, I'd probably only do that if someone were selling Roland RD-700SX keyboards for $500 apiece.

For the past few years I have done most of my Christmas shopping online. It's easier to keep track of everything, and I don't have to get out in the bitter cold temperatures. If I were in Dallas, perhaps I'd consider shopping on the Friday following Thanksgiving, but not Des Moines. Please. Are you out of your mind?

A colleague at school yesterday said that she was a bargain shopper and that she drives to Kansas City to wait in line at Best Buy. "They bring out donuts and hot chocolate," she said. She told of a time she was assaulted by someone who wanted the vacuum cleaner she had just picked up. Or the time a store posted guards outside the door to only let in a certain number of shoppers at a time because they were afraid of violating the fire code.

Me, it's just not my cup o'tea. I tried it last year and just wasn't inspired. I feel the same way out shopping a sale that I do when I'm trying to collect my thoughts in a verbal argument with someone who talks fast.

I know that lots of people just use pre-written lists to keep their purchases and thoughts organized, and I have done that too. But I generally just don't like big, fast-moving crowds of people anyway. So why torment myself when I don't have to? Click the Amazon button and be done with it, I say.

Quote for today

From John Henry Cardinal Newman:

Therefore I will trust Him. Whatever, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends, He may throw me among strangers. He may hide my future from me - still He knows what He is about.

God's purposes are infinitely bigger than my circumstances. What a privilege to belong to the One who's in control.

The aftermath

Yes, we ate too much.

The pork roast was divine.

The pecan pie tasted great, although it was just slightly too runny on the inside. But that's just the perfectionist in me talking. Should've added one more egg, just to be on the safe side. Next time...

The moms yakked while the dads and kids watched Star Wars in the other room. Then the moms cleaned up the kitchen while the dads and kids watched Star Wars.

I'd like to put up the Christmas tree tomorrow, but Erica is at her dad's house until Saturday, and I know that's something she's really looking forward to, so I'll hold off until she can help.

Preparations are underway

The pork roast is slowly simmering in onions and white wine.

The pecan pie is baking.

In a little while I'll fire up the breadmaker.

I love Thanksgiving. I miss my family, though... being at Grandmother and Granddad's house in Tishomingo, Oklahoma, with all the aunts and uncles and cousins. There wouldn't be room for the whole clan there now, since most of us cousins are grown and married and have families of our own. But it's fun to remember those days, nonetheless.

And we've kept up a few of the traditions, like cornbread dressing. There will be a turkey -- but ours will be deep-fried. My family used to play Moon with dominoes around the kitchen table. We play cards around the table.

It's wicked cold out this morning, but the kitchen is cozy and warm and smells of vanilla and toasted pecans.

We are so blessed.

Surreal late-night grocery experience

I was at SoulFire practice until fairly late last night; we're preparing for the December 4th concert and hitting some new numbers pretty hard... plus spending a lot of time re-tweaking our sound settings because they're getting scrambled by the people practicing for the Christmas play.

Afterwards, even though it was late, I needed some things at the grocery store, so I stopped at the Hy-Vee by the airport. At the meat case I was examining the pork roasts to find just the one I wanted, when about ten feet down (near the turkeys) a young, nice-looking man with long curly hair and a thick Bosnian accent asked me, "Where the toorkeys?"

I looked up, a little startled. He looked at me, and I pointed to the turkeys right next to him. "The turkeys are right there, in front of you."

"No, no," he insisted. "Toorkey neck. Toorkey guts."

Ah, I thought. He's looking for giblets. I walked to the turkey section and pointed to the only giblets I found, a package of gizzards. "Gizzards?" I said.

"Oh, yes!" he exclaimed. "No necks?"

I poked around, but saw none. "I don't see any, I'm sorry."

He clasped my hand to his lips and kissed it firmly. "Tank you, tank you veddy much."

SoulFire's first equipment investment

We just bought a beautiful pair of JBLs that pack some powerful sound. Little by little, we're going to collect all the stuff we need to be an independent band, but it's sure expensive. That's not even counting the cost of each individual band member's instrument(s). Mark's vintage 70s Les Paul would easily fetch $20K if he were ever to sell it. But even if we're just talking all the extra stuff you need to have a band and do a concert, it's amazingly expensive.

Last night's practice was long and hard, but we got a lot accomplished. I am still amazed that they let me play with them!

Chirp... chirp... burp...

My first experience at buying live crickets was interesting. More interesting even than that was dusting them with calcium powder and setting them free inside the geckos' cage. Those lil' lizards can be aggressive when they're ready to eat.

At Petco, I found their display of live crickets in the back... you can't miss it for the chirping. Not knowing which size to get, I chose a bag of regular cricket-sized crickets and a bag of teeny baby ones. I also bought some jelly-like stuff that is meant for watering crickets. Britt had already given me a bag of calcium powder and a bag of cricket food to get me started.

Now Erica's talking about saving up for another tank so she can have a tree frog. I guess the chirping of the frog and the geckos will drown out the sounds of Isaac snoring at night. That boy must need his tonsils out or something; he snores like a freight train.

Believe it or not...

I actually admire this woman:



Shakira isn't just a bubblehead or a boy magnet. The girl actually seems to have some real talent. Keep your eye on her (not that you guys will have any trouble following through on that one, of course); she's going places.

This one, however, I'm a little worried about:



My eleven-year-old daughter idolizes Hilary Duff. She's got star quality, but she ain't got much musical talent beyond a decent voice -- a little too much like Britney, in my opinion. Hilary has had the squeaky-clean reputation that Britney never did, though, which has made her more palatable to me than BS as far as allowing her music to be played in the house. What I'm seeing, though, is Hilary beginning down the same Lindsey Lohan-ish path... Hilary used to be nicely proportioned, not rail-thin but not fat either. In this picture, though, it looks like she's starting to drink the Hollywood Kool-Aid of Thin-ness. She doesn't even look like the same girl. Somebody give her a sandwich, please.

Worship pix

Here are a few pictures that Rick took during worship a couple of Sundays ago. I needed for him to take them because I was putting together the ministry fair slideshow for the worship team, and we needed some updated ones.

Here's a pretty good view of the stage:


Here's me, up close (this was taken during rehearsal) (notice the ultra-cool mic headset I get to wear):


Hey, JoeMama, do these look like miniature versions of Poppi's hands or WHAT?


One thing has changed in the past week, however... now I'm a REAL rock star, because Jeff scored us a double-stack piano stand. Now the synth is on top of the piano, so I can manage both at the same time without spread-eagling. It's awesome, I tell you. I'll try to remember to bring my camera to rehearsal tomorrow night so I can snag a pic.

Geckos!

Our family just inherited a breeding pair of house geckos, compliments of a girl in the church youth group who upgraded to leopard geckos. We got the whole kit 'n kaboodle -- the tank, the lamps, everything. Erica wanted them next to her bed, on her dresser, and that room's the warmest in the house, so it seemed logical. I think the kids will enjoy having some little creatures sharing the room with them, too.

And no, she didn't save a bunch of money by switching geckos.

Random thoughts

Once in a while, something happens that I just wish I could blog about because it's so stinkin' funny, but I can't do it because somebody might get in trouble. I'll give it some thought; there may be a way I can share the story without incriminating anyone. [snicker] I'll just say that I work with some of the funniest people I've ever met.

Thanksgiving's this week! We'll be celebrating with the same people we have shared the holiday with for the past several years. They're doing turkey, I'll bring a pork roast. I'm also doing pecan pie, while they'll do pumpkin. It's a nice arrangement. Neither of us has family close by, so we've grown to consider one another the closest thing to family there is. It's good to have friends like that.

That also means that this is a SHORT WORK WEEK!! [happy dancing]

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

This morning's worship was pretty rewarding, at least from the perspective of those of us who were leading. Pastor Rob had pretty much given us the list of songs, which he normally doesn't do, and one of them was a traditional hymn that we didn't really have a peppy update to. So on Tuesday night when we were rehearsing, someone suggested we do it a capella, in four-part harmony, so we tried it and it felt right... you know, how when even though something is out-of-the-ordinary, it's still right? This was like that. The other songs were fairly recent contemporary numbers, and the hymn would've seemed out-of-step if we had tried to do it in an updated manner. This way, it was intimate and yet corporate all at the same time -- a room full of several hundred people, singing from their hearts... it was very fulfilling. It was "Great Is Thy Faithfulness," and we led into it straight from Matt Redman's "Heart of Worship."

Tonight was the community-wide Thanksgiving service. It was held in FCC's building; it had originally been slated to be held in the new Catholic church building, but it's not quite done, so we'll do that one next year. Music was by another church's worship team, but I didn't get to hear all of it because the youth exited after about two songs and went upstairs to their own meeting. Tonight we met the guy who, in all likelihood, will be our next youth pastor. He's from the Minneapolis area. He seemed okay; obviously, I can't pass judgment on one hearing, but I'll hold out cautious optimism.

This morning I woke up in the wee hours and couldn't go back to sleep, so I went ahead and got up, took a leisurely shower and got ready for church. I arrived before 6:30 AM and sat in my van with the heater running until Jeff arrived. I couldn't stand the idea of getting out! Pastor Rob was already there, in his office, but I would've had to walk all the way around to the front door and wait for him to come unlock... BRRRR!

I needed to arrive early this morning because today was the Ministry Fair, where each ministry team (worship team, youth team, cleanup crew, children's team, missions team, prayer team, et. al.) had a booth to display some of what they're up to and to recruit new team members. I took my laptop and had a slide show running with cool music. We had several new people sign up to participate, including one guy who plays the bass -- which we needed VERY much. The whole thing made me think of a year ago, of me signing up to participate on a worship team I didn't know, of how I felt: intimidated, honored, exhilarated, humbled, grateful... a whole range of emotions. A year later, and I'm still experiencing all those things to varying degrees. I'm obviously more aware of the conflicts and difficulties, but I knew those things existed even before I knew what they were, and I've been able to put them into perspective in a way I couldn't have before. God has been gracious to me... overwhelmingly so... and I want nothing more than to encourage these people who've really never experienced working with any other church or worship team. If I can serve them... if I can bring peace, comfort, wisdom, kindness... I want to be an instrument of God's grace to them, if I can.

Stuff

I spent about an hour this morning on a volunteer project at an upscale department store. I was assigned to straighten the displays of neckties; no problem there. It afforded me a glimpse back into the mall scene, a place I've managed to avoid since school started because I've just been too darn busy.

I instantly remembered why I dislike shopping whenever it's holiday time... and I also was reminded that I really AM a person who needs quiet and solitude! It was a bit too warm in the store as well, which contributed to my sudden attack of cold sweat.

That, and I'm in the process of switching my antidepressant medication from the one I've been taking for the past six years to a new one. My old one just wasn't working anymore -- I had known for a while that it wasn't as effective as it had been in the past, but I ignored it until one night I lay in bed and realized that I was pondering all the different ways I could kill myself if I wanted to, and that pretty much did it for me. I made an appointment with my doc and she agreed it was probably time to switch, since they can tend to lose efficacy over time. She switched me from Prozac, which is a type of drug called an SSRI, to a combination drug called Cymbalta, which combines an SSRI with an SNRI, helping with serotonin AND norepinephrine levels rather than just serotonin alone. She did say, however, that the first two or three weeks could be a bit rough while I'm adjusting. I'd say that a mild panic response in a department store is probably a direct result of this transition, don't you think?

One of the things I've noticed right away is that it's making me feel somewhat sleepy. I switched to taking it at night rather than in the morning, to combat this problem, and I'm going to give it the full three week trial period just to see if that will subside.

Maybe this will get me out of this slump I've been in for a while. My blog posts have suffered, I know; I can't seem to be interested in anything much. Rick says it still seems like I'm too busy. I'm going to take a hard look at it all over the next month or so, and make changes where they're necessary.

I think I need a "thought shower" after reading this

Gotta love the PC crowd, eh? We have a list from the Global Language Monitor withthe year's most politically correct phrases.

In 2005, some people wanted the word "brainstorming" replaced by "thought shower" so as not to offend people with brain disorders, and they also wanted "deferred success" to replace "failure" so as not to embarrass those who don't succeed.

Help wanted...

I slapped together the web site for my band, SoulFire, but I am a musician -- not a web designer -- and I had/have no idea what to do with it.

Is there any kind-hearted soul with a little generosity and extra time on their hands who might be willing to revamp our site? It's just not representative of our sound and of the quality of our band, and frankly I'm afraid it's driving people away rather than drawing them in.

We have no money, but I'm sure I could score you a free CD and t-shirt and whatever other merch we might be hawking...

Evaluation

My supervisor, one of the vice principals, just left a few minutes ago after observing me in my classroom. I think it went well; the kids all got right to work and asked good questions. They couldn’t have done better if I’d actually coached them (which I didn’t).

I rarely fret over evaluations, because I figure the administrator needs to see an accurate picture of who I am and how I teach on a daily basis. If I pull out a dog-and-pony-show lesson plan, that’s in essence fakery. I don’t like being false.

She’ll observe me in one of the collaborative classes, either Biology or Algebra, and then do a write-up and we’ll chat in her office about her observations.

She’s the one most “feared” by students and other teachers alike, but for some reason she has never really intimidated me. I respect her authority and don’t consider her a chum, but I also have a kind-hearted feeling towards her. She has an extremely difficult job and performs it under some terrible conditions. I don’t want to interfere with her, cause her to have more work to do, or make her life any harder.

I have always felt that her evaluations of me would be fair and honest and accurate. I can’t ask for more than that.

I don’t have any results to post yet, but I will post them when I get them.

Crowder Concert

Erica and I went to see the David Crowder Band in concert tonight at the ValAir ballroom. Opening acts were insufferably somnolent, and I sat at a table in the back corner and laid my head on my rolled-up fleece scarf. Crowder was awesome, as usual, though. Energetic, funny... definitely worth seeing, if you could make it through the opening acts.

Don't get me wrong; Robbie Seay Band and Shane & Shane are very talented groups. But their music is all very slow. There wasn't a fist-pumper or a bounce-jumper song among the entire lot. Not exactly who you want to warm up the crowd, although if your goal was to make it so that people could not WAIT to see you come out, Crowder picked the right ones. hehe

Gotta love the weather here

Here's Isaac and Alice, coming out of school this afternoon:





Looks like we're due for a few inches overnight, and blizzard conditions. Just three days ago it was 70 degrees and we were experiencing tornadoes. Gotta love it.

Hey, at least I don't live in Minnesota, right NorthernLight?

Snow is a four-letter word

When growing up in Texas, I could always count on the sweetgum trees being brilliant with color right around my birthday.

 

Now I live in Iowa, and I can usually count on snow.

 

Today, it began by raining copiously. Now it’s beginning to change to snow. The gray, bitter, pinched days of winter have begun in earnest here in the upper Midwest.

 

Part of me groans inwardly, because I crave brilliance, color and light, all of which are absent during the Iowa winter. This is the season, however, when as a natural response to my environment, I begin to spend more time creating brilliance and color for myself. The barrenness of the landscape falls away as I switch my focus from outdoors to indoors.

 

I’m seriously considering a new coat of paint on the walls in my house. Dingy yellow has never made me happy, and I don’t think it complements the beautiful oak trim anyway. I was considering a lavender or perhaps a bluish sage… in an attempt to move around the color wheel away from the yellow tones.

 

The carpet, we can’t really do much about right now. If I had my ‘druthers, I’d prefer to switch to a wood floor, but that’s not possible at present. I’d also like to re-do the way we have the TV set up, as well as switching the entrance area to the enclosed porch.

 

I also want to do an original watercolor painting for the living room; people are always asking to see my work, but I always give it away, so I never have anything I like that’s just lying around to show to people. I can’t quite decide what the theme will be, though. I guess it doesn’t matter; I can paint whatever I want, and then after it hangs for a while, give it away and start a new one.

 

Thursday, I’m being evaluated by my supervisor, one of the vice principals. I’m not really nervous about that; I usually do fine with my classes. My main problem is just keeping up with all the paperwork crap that has to be completed. I hate paperwork. My ideal teaching job would be one where I spent all my time interacting with students but no time keeping track of paperwork. I do intend to try to have my desk cleaned off when she comes in, though… at least maintain the appearance of organization, right?

Jowling!!

Anybody remember the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where Calvin's mom dressed him up so nice and combed his hair for his school picture, and then when he brings the photos home several weeks later, she is mortified to see him making a distorted, crazy face for the camera?

These photos make me think of that cartoon.

These guys and gals are shakin' their heads back and forth as fast as possible, then snapping a picture of it -- in hopes of getting a stop-motion view of their floppy jowls in action. They're calling it "jowling."

And I'm howling. With laughter, that is.

Please tell me this is a joke

Because even if this isn't a joke, we're going to find a way to make it one. Can none of you House Dems control this moonbat?

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!

Today's the big three-niner for me... my last year of thirties.

Came home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers from JoeMama & AngieDaddy, and a fabuloso carrot-cake from my husband (who knows I simply MUST have a carrot cake on my birthday for it to be official).

I'll go for my usual mentor-meeting with KaLee. Later, I'm meeting Cindy for some sag paneer and vindaloo. ParTAY!!!

Today's Shakespearean sonnet

I get a regular e-mail called "Shakespeare Sonnet-A-Day." The sonnet for today was #27:

Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
But then begins a journey in my head,
To work my mind, when body's work's expired:
For then my thoughts, from far where I abide,
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see
Save that my soul's imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.
Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee and for myself no quiet find.

Spiffy!!!

The flag painting I did for Linda Arrandale has now been framed, and they put it over their fireplace. It looks awesome, don't you think?





Their decorative theme is Americana, and the very first time I ever walked into their house, I thought they might enjoy adding one of my flags to their collection.

The Old-Boy Network Alive and Well in Norwalk, Iowa

Norwalk removes its fire chief

Norwalk's fire chief lied about his qualifications, mismanaged taxpayer money and put property and lives at risk, say city officials who fired him after a lengthy investigation.

Tom Fleming was head of the suburb's mostly volunteer department for three years before questions arose and rumors spread in the town of about 7,000. The city fired him late last month without public comment.

"The whole thing is unfortunate, but we spent 150 hours on this, and we found justification for all the allegations," Police Chief Eddie Kuhl said this week.
...
Fleming claims he needed to discipline several volunteer firefighters shortly after he arrived in Norwalk because they refused to follow orders. Fleming said he sought approval from City Manager Mark Miller, and that Miller refused because he didn't want to alienate the volunteer staff.

Fleming said the matter came to a head this year when Assistant Chief Mike Wenger, the only other full-time person in the department of 36 volunteers, directed a firetruck to go against traffic on the interstate. Fleming said that incident was among several in which Wenger put public safety at risk.

Fleming said he sought approval to suspend Wenger last summer. A few days later, Fleming was suspended and told by Miller that the investigation was forthcoming. Wenger was reinstated.
...

Tom Fleming is a victim of the Norwalk Old-Boy Network... plain and simple. No, Fleming's not a perfect person. But to railroad him out of town because he's trying to clean house and won't play ball with the Boys? Mmm-hmmm. I see how this is.

Zebra mussels not responding to diversity training, sensitivity seminars

The Wal-Mart phenomenon exists in nature, too... and as usual, it's our fault.

Researchers warn that human impacts on the environment are fuelling the global spread of animals and plants, which are replacing regionally distinct species.

Known as "biotic homogenization," it's a phenomenon that "elicits serious concern among conservationists as a major threat to regional individuality," according to University of Wisconsin biologist Julian Olden.

Olden is among a small but growing number of scientists investigating a process he likens to the "rapid spread of big-box retailers" at the expense of local "mom-and-pop businesses."

"We are just starting to understand the subtle aspects and implications of biotic homogenization," he added.

As long as I don't have to see that little bouncing happy-face in my backyard, or hear "Attention Wal-Mart picnickers..." when I'm at the park.

A place I want to visit someday

Prince Edward Island in Canada.

Of course I've been a fan of the ever-delightful Anne since I discovered Montgomery's books in the seventh grade.

But it's about more than just Anne. I'd like to get to know it better than that. It has just always sounded like a fascinating little corner of the world.

Maybe someday...

One year of blogging

I missed marking my one-year blogiversary a couple of weeks ago.

When I began blogging last year, it was a tentative response to the pain of broken friendships and the isolation of a new job after ten years of being a stay-home mom. I wasn't sure if I would like blogging, and I knew that if I didn't really enjoy it, I wouldn't continue doing it.

I guess I liked it. I've certainly learned a lot about myself and about other people. And I've made some incredible friendships through blogging. Cool people I never would've had the opportunity to get to know, were it not for this medium.

In about a month, I'm going to be playing the piano at the wedding of two awesome bloggers, SarahK and FrankJ. They're both WAAAAAY more "famous" as bloggers than I could ever dream of being, but I still get to be a part of a really terrific match. I feel very, very privileged and honored.

The wedding is in Fort Worth, Texas. I get to stay a couple of nights with my mommy and daddy, who live north of Fort Worth in Denton... and SarahK has insisted that I will be singing karaoke at the reception. I have no idea what I'll sing, though... I wonder if they have any Nelson Riddle orchestral numbers? Somehow I doubt it. Maybe some Cyndi Lauper?

I heart iTunes, by the way.

Profile in courage

h/t to reader TheChickVoice for this link... what an amazing blog post.

I absolutely, completely, 100% admire a person who can write a blog post like this one. I know of several men, of varying ages and stages of ministry, who need to have the courage to own up to this, too.

My kind of kid

One of my favorite students here at North is a crazy, punky dude with an Amish beard; he’s always got some kind of death-metal band t-shirt on and he’s funny as he can be. Just now I saw him in the hallway and he had a major limp.

“Dude! What happened to you?” I said.

“I was at a concert on Saturday night and some guy smash-kicked my knee,” he said.

“Oh, man, that had to leave a mark. What concert?”

“Facecage.”

“You didn’t miss the concert, did you?”

“Are you crazy? My girlfriend went to get me some ice and then we went to the emergency room after it was over. I can’t miss a good metal show on account of a busted knee.”

[grin]

 

Phoneblogging

I am testing the phoneblogging feature...

Christmas Lists

Okay, here's the official rundown for the kids' Christmas lists.

Isaac

BatMan Vehicle
A batch of Legos
StarWars light saber
Buzz Lightyear ship
VideoNow XP

Alice

Toy doggy with cold nose (like on TV)
Wristwatch
Leap pad books
Glow-in-the-dark stars
Earrings
Phonics workbooks (1st grade level)

Martha

a blue GameBoy
Gift cards from WalMart, Journeys, Hot Topic, Target or Limited Too
Rings (real ones)
An American Girl doll
More videos for VideoNow
a ConAir hair kit that curls
Blonde highlight stuff
Tamagotchi (must be a Tamagotchi BRAND, not the fake kind)
New bed sheets and quilt
Shoes & clothes

Erica

(note-- Erica wasn't sure about specifics, so she just listed some general things she likes)
Gift cards from Hot Topic, Best Buy, WalMart, PacSun, Target
Dolphins
Fairies/Tinkerbell
Eeyore
Horses
Rings
Necklaces
Pirates of the Caribbean (anything!)
DVD of The Nightmare Before Christmas
Digital Camera
(she also needs a TI Graphing Calculator for math)

Caring For Your Introvert

(h/t SarahK, my blogmommy who's getting married in a month!!)

A very cool op-ed piece from Atlantic Online, called Caring For Your Introvert, about that segment of the population which cherishes solitude. A fun quote:

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books -- written, no doubt, by extroverts -- regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

How many times have I wished I could pop up and just say something like that in a meeting where someone is just yammering on and on and on?

The notion of having to sit through a Sensitivity Training meeting, for example, makes me want to dive into a vat of hemlock-juice. First of all, I hate meetings. Second, I don't want to be more sensitive. I want everyone else to be LESS sensitive, so we can actually accomplish something instead of piddling around worrying about how someone FEELS. I don't CARE how you feel.

Okay, I do care.

[crickets chirping]

No, that's a lie. I really don't care. But I've learned how to pretend I do, because it helps me have friends and because I don't want to be a complete misanthrope.

Duh

I have wanted to blog from school on a number of occasions, and knew there was a way to do it via e-mail, but never could remember to find out how. Now I know, though. For some reason, my brain shuts down when I get home from school, and I can't think of all the kewl stuff I wanted to blog about. Sometimes I e-mail myself at home so I will remember, but when I get home, it doesn't seem as interesting and I'm just too tired to deal with it.

Not anymore. The blogger is back in bidness.

The techies down at the Des Moines Public School HQ building just thought they could keep me from blogging. MUAH ha ha ha!!!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

As usual, my favorite day of the week.

This morning I had a couple of new songs to learn, one that was introduced last week when I was gone. The other one had an extremely busy and prominent piano part that I had to concentrate on pretty hard in order to approximate it. I think I did okay, but I look forward to doing it more times in the future so I can get better at it and so I won't have to think so hard while I'm playing it. I felt rather distracted and disconnected, having to concentrate on the music so much. I'm grateful that I don't rely on Sunday mornings for my personal worship "fix." For me, my times of personal worship usually happen in the car!

We took Amy to lunch at Applebees, and waited FOREVER for the food to arrive. That happened the last time we went out to lunch, too -- except then it was at Okoboji Grill. I guess they're having trouble staffing restaurants or something.

Speaking of staffing troubles, the Des Moines school district seems to be suffering from a severe shortage of substitute teachers. Can I just say here that I think it's absolutely idiotic that Iowa requires substitute teachers to hold a teaching certificate? If they've got a teaching certificate, they're likely to be actually teaching on a full-time basis, don't you think? Anyway, things are super-bad right now, because a lot of people are sick or have sick kids. We're having to give up our planning times to cover classes because there just aren't enough subs.

On that note, I'm actually considering the possibility of doing full-time subbing rather than being a SPED teacher. They pay $100 a day, and if I need to take the kids to the doctor, I don't have to accept work that day. No paperwork to keep up with, no parents to deal with. I'm not sure if insurance is available to subs, but it wouldn't matter because we could just switch back to Rick's insurance if need be.

I don't know. It's an option. I have lots of options. For now, I'll keep doing what I'm doing until God tells me the next thing to do.

Rehearsing... all... day... long...

"And the tree was happy." --Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree

My morning was spent rehearsing with Romansroad, and after a brief run to Subway for lunch, my afternoon was spent rehearsing with SoulFire. Ames came home with me after that, and she brought presents from Brazil. The kids have been faithfully praying for her every night, and they were so glad to see her again after so long.

The concert on December 4th is going to be awesome, but I'll be quite busy. Busy playing music, though, which is a good thing.

Part of the SoulFire rehearsal was actually just discussion about where things are headed and about upcoming gigs. We've got a number of them already for next year, which is awesome! I'm just trusting God for the whole equipment issue; He's got it figured out already, and I don't have to know right now.

I'm just a "happy little tree," in the immortal words of Bob Ross.

Friday night crash

I was so tired last night that I went to bed around 6:45 PM, intending to nap briefly, and ended up sleeping all night long. Boy, did that feel good, too. Although I had intended to work on the SoulFire longboard.

What, you might ask, is the SoulFire longboard?

And for that matter, what's a longboard?

Well, for you non-skater-punk-types, a longboard is basically like a skateboard, only, well, longer (duh, Kris!). It's meant for street cruising, mainly... like a skateboard limousine.

BlueFish has built a beautiful longboard and wants me to paint the SoulFire graphics on the underside of it. Yesterday I finally got the design drawn onto it, and I was hoping I'd get to start painting it. But I didn't.

Maybe tonight.

The drawing looks really, really promising though. I can't wait to start painting it. Very cool. I'll take pictures of the process as it unfolds, so you can get an idea of what went into it.

Fart-free beans!!!

Hey, Pop... now you can have your beans and sleep in the same room with Mom too!

Wind Relief for Baked Beans

FINALLY

I finally found the time this afternoon to go have a haircut. And I finally found a real, honest-to-goodness artist to do it; he works out of a day spa down in Valley Junction and is a very cool, longhaired, tattooed, mission-minded Christian artist type -- just my kind of fellow. He's the same guy who does all of the photography for SoulFire, and he's got an eye for things. As soon as I sat down in the chair, he had plans for how my hair needed to be, and he talked me through it. There was none of the "look in the book and tell me what you're wanting"... it was all about "this needs to grow out longer" and "here's what would look better." I like that in a stylist.

Coming up on my final year of thirties

I can't really comprehend that my thirties are nearly past. I had just turned 29 when we moved to Iowa. I feel like a million years have gone by, not ten; I'm not who I was in 1996. Not really even close.

On November 14th, I will hit the big 3-9. I'm hoping to do something quiet with Cindy that night; a bigger, louder shindig will happen that Thursday when a bunch of us get together and descend upon a Mongolian BBQ place in West Des Moines.

Stuff on my birthday/Christmas list this year:

A keyboard
A video iPod
A digital video camera

Not that I need any of those things... well, okay, I do need the keyboard, but anyway... I've had a wonderful year, and God has blessed me abundantly. I don't really need anything at all. Heck, I'm driving a VERY cool Toyota van to school every morning -- what more could anyone want?

Erica has been officially declared a "normal teenager"

Erica had her first visit with her therapist since moving in with us. I went along with her and her mother, since we all agreed it was probably important for him to meet me. As soon as I made eye contact with him, I had a good feeling about him.

She has known him for quite a few years now, having spent some time in a lockup situation and having spent many, many sessions with him in the past. He told her today that he'd never seen her so "normal"... smiling, talkative, etc... and said that it was obviously a good thing for her to continue living with us.

Her mom jabbered in her usual aimless, confused manner. I am continually in awe of her ability to talk incessantly of nothing. Thankfully I am not befuddled by her conversational skilz, and am usually able to redirect or cut it off politely. Mainly, from what I can gather, she is most bothered by how it all "looks" to her "friends". Really and truly, the only reason she ever worries or cares about Erica is with regard to herself. It's all about what people think. This makes her fairly easy to deal with, actually, because you can "guide" the conversations where you want them to go.

As for Erica's fitting into the family, it's been nothing short of remarkable how well it's gone. I'm sure there's still a "honeymoon phase" going on, and that things may not always be lovely, but I do know that she no longer wears that pinched, dull expression on her face that I saw at the beginning of the school year. She's bright-eyed, meets people's gaze, smiles, laughs... it's a good thing to see. She even puts up with Martha's rages and quirks, having been through a few of those herself. I've had people ask me if I think Martha's reacting badly to Erica's presence in the house, and I have to say that I've been watching that angle like a hawk. It's not an issue. Martha is no different now than she was before Erica arrived. If anything, Erica has been a stabilizing influence on her. I will say, though, that Erica now sleeps in the big bedroom with Isaac and Alice, and Martha has her own room alone again, but that's just for Erica's sanity mainly.

God knew we needed her; that's how I see it. People tell me we're so awesome for "taking her in", but I don't really think I did anything that any decent individual wouldn't have done in the same situation. I do see, though, that she has been as much or more of a blessing to me than we've been to her.

Congratulations to me!!!

I made it an entire year at my new church before causing a misunderstanding!!! WOW! That has to be a record for me.

I'm still a little befuddled as to what I did or said, exactly, but I promise -- I never meant to say anything hurtful. I'm pretty dizzy and scatterbrained most of the time, so there's almost never a time when I'm intentionally malicious. Mostly I'm not paying attention, but I am aware that sometimes I sound abrupt or cross. I know exactly where I get that, too, Mom, so no need to call me "Doris" or anything.

I certainly bear no ill will towards the people who misunderstood me, because I know how easy it is to misinterpret what people say and do.

We were rehearsing last night, and a certain fact had been established, and I knew that we needed to move along and work on rehearsing instead of trying to rehash the problem of "where is the old sound system?" SoulFire had borrowed it this past weekend, of course. I told them it was at Mike's, and that we'd get it to them any night this week they wanted it. It didn't seem to satisfy them, however, so I offered to go get it right then. [shrug] We're having a rehearsal, people, we know where it is, what else do you want me to do? You don't even need it until Friday.

The only reason we didn't bring it back to church immediately was because it would've been during church services, and we didn't want to interrupt church by unloading all that stuff right then. Nobody ever uses it, so we figured we'd bring it back later in the week.

I still have NO idea what the problem was, but I'm not going to spend much more time fretting about it. It just means that I've gotten close enough to people to hurt their feelings, and involved enough to cause misunderstandings.

I'm still amazed it took this long.

And on that note, it's definitely a sign that SoulFire needs its own equipment. ASAP.

More exciting SoulFire news

Timmy just called me... SoulFire's been asked to headline the state FCA retreat on the last weekend in March. WOW!! This is a fairly big deal, from what I understand. Tim said that the woman who called him said that when she had put out the word, she had gotten numerous requests for us, so she wanted to call us NOW and book us before that weekend had already filled up.

[happy dancing]