Saturday in the recording studio

Today Tim, Amy, Sticks, Mark & I went to the recording studio to begin laying down some of the "repair" tracks needed on the live recording of SoulFire's concert. Studio work is fun, but can be tedious because you're doing the same little segment over & over until you get it the way you want it. It's not as tedious with these guys, though, because we all share a similar sense of humor and have so darn much fun laughing together.

Started out the morning in a fun way, too. We were all going to meet at Tim's and carpool to the studio in one vehicle, and someone had asked Tim (tongue-in-cheek) if he was providing breakfast for everyone. I was e-mailing with Amy and told her if she'd show up at MY house an hour earlier, I'd be making biscuits & gravy and bacon and she was welcome to join us. She took me up on it, so I did, and it was fun to have her come. The kids were tickled to have Miss Amy show up at our door on Saturday morning and we all had a yummy breakfast.

After we arrived at Tim's, we waited and waited and waited and waited for Mark, who had locked his keys in his car. As an introduction to Mark (who plays this amazingly cool Gibson Les Paul guitar, and quite well), we joke around with him quite a bit because he's sometimes a little spacey. Do you remember the movie Men In Black, where they had this little flashy-thingy that you click in people's face to make them forget the past however-many minutes or hours or years of their life? It often seems like one of those has been flashed in Mark's face because he'll pop up and completely forget stuff we just did. So we all have this habit of saying "Click" whenever he spaces out.

Anyway, Mark FINALLY arrived, having called the Norwalk cops to come unlock his door. The cop even gave up trying, so Mark worked on it a little more and finally got it open. He had also left some of his stuff up at church, so he had had to get someone to go unlock the church so he could get his gear. CLICK

So after he arrived, we decided to all ride in his car because it's actually big enough for all of us to ride in AND it's cleaned out. I felt very cool riding to the studio in Mark's car because it's tricked out with those spinner hubcaps. Man, was I stylin' or WHAT?

I found out that Tim and Sticks have both been reading my blog!!! That made me feel really, really good. It's actually the best way to get to know me, because I don't talk a lot... and knowing that they both stayed up late to read it, well, it made me feel good because they 1)wanted to get to know me better and 2)thought it was good enough to keep reading.

I usually feel very inept in social conversations, which clams me up, but I think a lot of things so I write them down instead of saying them. I'm not shy. I think I've just figured out that I want people to think I'm smart, and the best way to do that is to be quiet and only say something occasionally. I try not to say anything unless it merits speech and hopefully isn't going to bore someone to death. Most of what goes through my head is either so disjointed and rapid-fire that people couldn't follow it if they tried, or it's boring because it's totally detail-focused and nitpicky. I think about things like chemical compositions, genus & species of plants I see, the way that a certain shade of blue smells & sounds, the intervals in a melody I heard last week, and the precise pitch of the sound of breathing through my nose in a particular way. And this is often within a one-minute span of time. Is it any wonder that I don't talk much? People might find out that I really AM a very strange person. At least when I write, I can organize my thoughts more carefully. I can type while I'm thinking something, then stop for a moment to chase a mental rabbit, then start typing again when my mind comes back around.

Today was fun; I love being with my peeps from SoulFire because I feel very "at home" and comfortable. It's really cool to me how God just plucked me out of where I was and dropped me right into FCC and I've been completely accepted into things. I don't feel like an interloper or an outsider. It's like I've belonged there all along, like family, like I've always known these guys.

I'm going to have to get to bed soon, because tomorrow morning's going to come early. And you KNOW that Sunday is my favorite day of the week, so anything I can do to make it come quicker is a good thing, yanno?

I leave you tonight with the lyrics of a song from U2's latest CD, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, called "Yahweh":

Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere
Take this shirt
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don't make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, tell me now
Why the dark before the dawn?

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it break

Baby Got Bullets

I'm guessing that this woman didn't want this to make the local news, but it did:

Woman Shot Near MLK Parkway

DES MOINES, Iowa -- Des Moines police are investigating a shooting that left one woman hospitalized.

Police said the shooting happened around midnight near Hickman Road and Martin Luther King Jr. Parkway.

Three shots were fired in an alley off the 2100 block of MLK Parkway, and 35-year-old Amy Kehoe was hit in the buttocks, according to authorities.

At time of the shooting, police said she was working at Jeff Hills Down South barbecue stand in the Shop-N-Save parking lot.

The woman was taken to the hospital, and her injuries do not appear to be life-threatening.

Can we just say humiliating? Not life-threatening, maybe, but completely and totally embarrassing because everyone who just read that article is now picturing her lying facedown in the hospital bed.

FYI, I actually drive through this intersection to get to and from work every day. I love living in the 'hood.

In this week's WTCN

It's been a long time since I excerpted from the Warren Town and County News, the newspaper of record in Norwalk, Iowa. It's high time I revisited that publication and shared pertinent (or impertinent; your call) information from it with you all.

Above the fold we find a photo of the local dentist and a middle-schooler. Apparently the dentist is displaying this young lady's artwork in her dental offices.

Also above the fold is the breaking news of the Norwalk Superstars recital. The Superstars are a Baton, Dance and Gymnastics consortium, and they'll be presenting their recital "Keep On Moving" on Saturday at 1 PM and 6 PM, and on Sunday at 2 PM.

The recitals, which are free and open to the public, will feature high point award winning dancers, tumbling, cheerleading teams and baton twirlers.

The Superstars are under the direction of Jan Stivers, assisted by Jay Peterson (Director of Dance Education) and Dawn Reed (Director of Baton Education).

Also above the fold is the Agenda for the Norwalk Park and Recreation Commission, and an article announcing the opening of Paul Revere's Pizza:

Ken and Renee Winjum have announced that their new Paul Revere's Pizza, 1220 Sunset Dr., will open for business Monday, May 2 at 4 PM.

Area residents may eat in, or enjoy delivery and carryout. Paul Revere's also offers "We Make -- You Bake!" for pizza, lasagna, wedgies, breadsticks, etc.

Pizzas include a choice of original, crispy thin, thick or stuffed crusts with usual toppings.

Chicken specialties include Chicken Fajita, Chicken Taco, BBQ Chicken, as well as old-world style pizzas.

Paul Revere's Famous Wedgie is a hand-rolled crust folded and stuffed with favorite ingredients, baked golden brown and topped with a special garlic cheese blend.

In addition of pizza, the new Norwalk eatery will include spaghetti, lasagna or rotini pasta and oven-baked sandwiches such as Italian Beef, Meatball, BBQ Beef and BLT. Garden Chef, Taco and Italian salads will be available.

Also featured will be St. Louis-style BBQ ribs with Paul Revere's own rib rub and slow-roasted for extra-tender ribs offered in a meal or by 1/3 or full-racks.

Customers will also have a choice of sides such as soft garlic breadsticks, garlic cheese bread, buffalo wings, toasted ravioli, dessert breadsticks, plus dipping sauces.

Orders may be called in at ###-####.

The Winjums plan a Grand Opening at a later date.

Admit it -- you wanted to know what Paul Revere's Wedgie tastes like.

On page four at the top I also notice a teeny little picture of a young lady holding a Ziploc bag. Apparently she has collected a bunch of pop tabs for the Ronald McDonald House -- good for her!

I just love that this kind of newspaper can still exist. "Director of Baton Education", indeed!

Dogblogging

Tonight we had chicken fried rice for supper. I had some left in my bowl afterwards, so I decided to share it with Bijou. I'm looking over there now, and she has eaten the rice, chicken and peas. I don't think she cares for the carrots, though, because they have all been neatly deposited on the floor next to the bowl.

Wedding bells!

Last August, I played the piano for a wedding. For some reason, even though I've been a church pianist for a lot of years, I have never had the opportunity to play the piano for anyone's wedding before. Either we've been in churches that were so small that there wasn't ever anyone who got married, or people who did get married already had musical connections. At any rate, last summer was my first time to do wedding music for anyone.

The coolest thing about it was that it was a Haitian wedding. In Haiti. Les Cayes, Haiti, to be precise. Because I've been going down to Haiti for a few years to teach piano in a music camp, lots of people there know me. A couple was getting married in a big church in Cayes that week, and the "famous" Madame Rick (that's me) was in town, so they asked me to play. Absolutely one of the highlights of my life!

Then this afternoon I got a phone call from Tim, the leader of SoulFire. His boss, who also goes to our church, is getting married right around Memorial Day and wanted to know if I would be willing to play for the wedding! Stuff like that really makes me happy. My church continues to be a "happy place" for me... God knew that my life this year would be really hard, and He gave me a church which has enfolded around me and given me a happy respite from stress. I am very, very thankful.

Summer woes

Well, it's going to be a heckuva summer around our house. I am officially now enrolled in a three-credit course through Drake University, and I will gain the extra credit hour through a program which will take my year of experience and my attendance at staff development meetings and some $$ and magically turn it into college credit. Of course, this is on top of an already full load through the University of Phoenix.

I will live through this. Let's just hope my husband and children live through it too!

Drake Relays Day

No students today; it's a teacher workday. Badly needed, I might add.

I've had a bit of a rough week, believe it or not. I found out that, according to new regulations, if I don't have a full 12 hours completed toward my special-ed college credits by August 31st, the district cannot re-hire me.

I'll have eight hours by August 31st, with my University of Phoenix course load (which is full). I won't have the remaining four until mid-November. But they won't float me an extra couple of months to get it done. It's new, apparently; none of the other teachers here who started a year before me had to do this. They had to show they were working toward it, but they didn't have to complete 12 hours their first year out.

I am already stretched to the breaking point as far as college classwork is concerned... and worse than that, I'm not sure where the money is coming from to take that extra four hours. It's interesting to me that most employers, when they require extra certification classwork, will foot at least part of the bill toward you getting it done. Not so with public schools. Not only is my paycheck rather small, but I'm now spending it all trying to jump through their new hoops.

I do know that one particular class they are requiring me to have completed is being offered this summer at Drake (which is only three blocks from my house - PTL), but it's probably going to end up costing me a thousand bucks to take the dumb thing because Drake is a private university. That's not counting the extra dough to pay a sitter while I'm in class.

But I'm going to do it. I love what I'm doing, and as insane as it seems for public schools to TURN SOMEONE AWAY when they are desperately seeking special education teachers, I will find a way to comply with the state's mandate.

This has been one of the most frustrating years of my life. Rewarding, oh yes. But trying to wade through the incomprehensible tangle of Iowa's requirements for teacher licensure has been more than daunting. It's been nearly impossible. I'll be interested to watch public education policy in the next few years when they begin to discover that they're chasing away really good potential teachers... and they're suddenly faced with students who have no teachers to fill the positions. There are only so many "permanent substitutes" you can hire, I'm guessing.

Okay, I'm done ranting for a while. I'm going to go find my pal TK and we're going to perpetrate mayhem somewhere for lunch.

The Aggies are at it again

At my best friend Cindy's alma mater, Texas A&M, they have apparently now successfully cloned a horse.

Odd enough, for sure. But the new foal's name?

"Paris Texas."

That's my hometown. No, honest-to-goodness, it is. It's in northeastern Texas. My parents still live there. And Cindy's mom lives there, too. How weird is that? There's gotta be a story behind the name; I hope it comes out in the news because I'd like to know why they named the first U.S.-cloned horse after my hometown.

UPDATE: Okay, I went to my hometown's newspaper of record, The Paris News, and found the straight scoop on the colt's name:

COLLEGE STATION -- A colt cloned by researchers at Texas A&M University bears the name Paris Texas.

"At least it wasn't a mule," Paris Mayor Curtis Fendley said Thursday. An A&M graduate, Fendley said he knows little about genetic engineering.

"I know there is scientific reasoning for it, but being an A&M business major it's over my head," Fendley said.

Community leader Ridley Briggs said he is not surprised by the name.

"It doesn't surprise me that the greatest university in the world has placed the name of Paris Texas on this accomplishment because Paris, Texas is the greatest city in the world," Briggs said from his lake home at Cypress Springs.

Briggs is a 1954 A&M graduate and a recent director of the Texas A&M Association of Former Students. The Aggie guru was named an A&M Fish Camp namesake in 2002.

School officials announced that their partnership with a French company resulted in the cloning and was a major factor in the horse's name.

"When you pair Texas with France then Paris, Texas is the logical outcome," said Gary Vest, president and chief executive officer of the Lamar County Chamber of Commerce.

"After all, we got our name because of the many French settlers here," Vest said.

A&M officials believe this is the first successfully cloned horse in North America. Horses had previously been cloned in Italy.

The six-week old light brown foal made his public debut Wednesday. He whinnied and walked right up to several photographers who snapped his picture.

"Look at him, he's gorgeous," Katrin Hinrichs, the lead scientist on the project, said.

"He's very bold," said Hinrichs, a professor at Texas A&M's College of Veterinary Medicine. She also heads the school's Equine Embryo Laboratory.

A&M researchers used adult horse skin cells biopsied from a valuable horse in Europe to clone the foal, which was born March 13.

The process, which took 400 attempts over a four-month period, began with dividing the skin cells in an incubator. Horse eggs were also matured in an incubator. Just before the eggs were fertilized, they were taken out. Under a microscope, researchers removed the DNA.

The biopsied skin cells were then injected into the eggs, which were then allowed to divide and make an embryo. The embryo was then placed into the uterus of a horse. Six embryos were created but only one, Paris Texas, was successfully gestated in a host horse named Greta during a pregnancy that lasted 12 1/2 months. Horses usually have an 11-month gestation period.

"It's very inefficient at this point. People worry that we're going to produce all these cloned champions and they're going to go to horse shows and change the face of showing horses," Hinrichs said.

There are no guarantees that Paris Texas will turn out exactly the same as the donor horse but the foal's offspring will have the same characteristics, Hinrichs said.

"Really it's a method to save genetics," she said.

The knowledge acquired from the successful cloning of the horse should be a powerful tool that will allow scientists to better compare the differential affects of environment and heredity, nature versus nurture, Hinrichs said.

"It will be able to bring the frontiers of science forward, using the horse as a model," she said.

Hinrichs said the procedure could also one day be used by the private industry to clone horses. Cryozootech, A&M's Paris-based partner, is dedicated to preserving the genes of exceptional horses for their use in producing cloned offspring.

With Paris Texas, A&M has become the first academic institution in the world to clone six different species.

The first cloned cat was born at the school on Dec. 22, 2001. Since then the university has cloned several litters of pigs, a Boer goat, a disease-resistant Angus bull, the first Brahma bull and a deer.

Hey, what does Mayor Fendley have against mules, anyway? My dad raises mules on his 80-acre tick farm north of Paris. Mules, chickens and catfish. And the occasional herd of feral pigs.

Anyway, I just think that's way cool. I could live without the French connection, of course, but those pesky French keep turning up when you least expect them.

Hey, Blue Fish, it's another great name for a punk band!

The Exploding Toads!

BERLIN -- Here's a story you don't hear every day -- toads are exploding in a pond in Germany.

Scientists say they have no explanation for what has caused more than 1,000 toads to puff up in a Hamburg pond this month and explode. Both the pond's water and body parts of the toads have been tested, but no bacteria or virus has been detected.

A scientist with the Hamburg-based Institute for Hygiene and the Environment called it "absolutely strange" -- saying it doesn't appear to have happened anywhere before.

The toads fill up like balloons until their stomachs suddenly burst. The head of a local environmental group said it looks like a scene from a science fiction movie.

What they're not telling us is that the toads had been reading Andrew Sullivan's blog just before exploding.

Gagging

It doesn't happen that often, honestly, which is surprising to me. But I have a student who forgot his Right Guard this morning, and it's beginning to gag me. My classroom, for those of you who don't know, is what used to be a storage closet... there is no ventilation, nor are there any windows, because it was never intended to be a classroom.

I've got a Yankee jar candle on my desk that I've removed the wick from, and I use my halogen desk lamp to warm it so that it smells good without me having to have a lit flame in the classroom. I'm still finding it difficult to breathe, though. I'd send him to the school nurse except that he's a flight risk and I am not allowed to let him leave my classroom.

Can I get this kind of ordinance passed for my classroom?

I just finished another book... I will now make a confession to you that I, yes, I have been reading Meg Cabot's series, The Princess Diaries. Once again, it's because one of my students wanted me to read them and lent them to me. I figure if they're important enough to one of my students to actually recommend them AND lend them, I should probably give them a read. And now for the next part of my confession -- they're cute and funny. Completely inconsequential, certainly not going to win any Pulitzers... but entertaining nonetheless. I would've LOVED these in high school. If I read them in that frame of mind, I rather enjoy them.

Stabbing at local high school

And it's not MY high school. Funny, my high school supposedly has a bad reputation for being "ghetto" but stuff like that doesn't happen here.

Des Moines Teen Stabbed Outside High School

DES MOINES, Iowa -- A Des Moines teenager is recovering after being stabbed outside a local high school Wednesday.

Chris Bonnett, 17, was stabbed in the arm in the Roosevelt High School parking lot around 1 p.m, according to a statement from the Des Moines Police Department. He was taken to a local hospital.

Hieu Tran, 18, a student at Roosevelt, was arrested and charged with willful injury in connection with the assault, according to the statement.

Tran will be transported to the Polk County Jail, police said.

Officials are investigating the incident to determine if anyone else was involved.

Yep, this is at the high school where my kids would go, if we stayed in our current house. Actually, Roosevelt has a pretty decent reputation, and I know there are bad actors in every bunch, so I'm not going to knock Roosevelt for this incident. I'd just like for people to see North in a better light, yanno?

My husband, the optimist

So I'm really encouraging Rick to consider the notion of moving to Norwalk, right? And I've been praying, asking God to talk to him and give him a clear up-or-down idea of what choice we need to make concerning a possible move. Hey, I'm here to tell you -- be careful what you ask God for, okay? Yes, Rick does seem to be actually interested in moving. He even met with our realtor yesterday to go through a house. And he is interested in the house!

Problem is, it's probably the ugliest house in Norwalk.




Okay, maybe it's mostly because nobody's taken care of it in a really long time. It's a foreclosure situation, and it's not in the best of shape.

I knew all of this stuff, but I haven't had a chance to go through the house. But yesterday afternoon after work I came in, and since Rick and I usually have about fifteen minutes of discussion time before he has to leave for work, I asked him what he thought.

I knew I wasn't going to like where this conversation was heading, because the first thing he said was, "Well, when you walk in, the first thing you notice is the smell." Then he proceeded to give me a rundown of how awesome this house could be if it were cleaned up, fixed up, etc. Old Mister Optimism, at it again.

[sigh]

Okay, at least the house isn't 120 years old, right? Maybe this one will actually have closets. It IS much bigger than it appears in the photograph, because it was added onto in the back. I was hoping for something a little less, umm, needy, I suppose... less labor-intensive, maybe? But perhaps we can take out the loan for more than the price, and put some money into making it a bit more presentable.

Stay tuned for more developments.

Holy cow! No, wait, those are bison...

PIKESVILLE, Md. - A herd of buffalo somehow got loose and wandered around an upscale neighborhood Tuesday, disrupting traffic and alarming homeowners before officers managed to corral them in a tennis court.

More than a dozen police cars and a police helicopter were used to herd the roughly 10 beasts, authorities said.

"Somehow they figured it out; I've got to give a lot of credit to the creativity of our officers," police spokesman Shawn Vinson said.

The officers used lounge chairs beside the tennis court as shields and formed a human chain to corral the wayward buffalo. One buffalo was seen leaping over one of the tennis nets in an effort to evade capture.

The animals came from a farm in Stevenson, nearly three miles away, Vinson said. They were returned to the farm later in the day.

Residents in Pikesville, a Baltimore suburb, first reported that buffalo were meandering along the road about 7 a.m.

Police shut down several major traffic arteries, including a section of the Baltimore Beltway, while they tried to anticipate which way the buffalo would roam.

Officers eventually managed to maneuver the buffalo onto the tennis court about a mile from where they first were spotted.

The American Bison was the mascot of my college alma mater, Oklahoma Baptist University. I wonder if they'll be recruiting these bison for the tennis team next year?

I Hate Assemblies

I have to stand against the side wall and keep order among six gazillion freshman students.

Surely you can detect my enthusiasm.

With Friends Like These...

Lileks points out a hideous example of exactly what I was complaining about just a couple of posts ago, when I was talking about the Chinese Cultural Revolution.

The Friends of the Minneapolis Public Library -- a group presumably formed to combat the work of their tireless foes, the Enemies of the Minneapolis Public Library -- has a new ad campaign out to hype next year's opening of the new downtown library. One side of the poster has a big picture of Mao; beneath him, it says, well, MAO. On the other side, a picture of the new library, with the letters MPL, for Minneapolis Public Library. From the Skyway News article on the campaign:

"What's the connection? China sports the world's third largest economy, while the library claims the nation's third largest collection of books (per capita.)

"It's a stretch, and a little weird, but it made us look, and that's the point."

Hmm. I'm curious: how many people do you have to kill, and how many books do you have to destroy, before you're no longer a benign historical image to be used in a "clever" ad campaign? The campaign also features J. Edgar Hoover and Batgirl, because they, like Mao, were librarians at some point in their lives. "Mao Tse-Tung became a convert to Marxism while working as a librarian at Beijing University prior to launching a communist revolution in China," the article explains.

Next up: Stalin shills for the church! Hey, he was a seminarian, once. See, it's funny and clever when they didn't kill anyone you know. Criminey.

Yep, old Chairman Mao is certainly well-remembered for his librarian roots... no mixed messages there, no sirree. As for becoming a Marxist by spending time in a library, well, that's certainly no stretch. Deroy Murdock's latest column, Check This Out, is a sobering glimpse into the way the 9/11 terrorists took full advantage of our public libraries while planning the mass murder... and how our own public libraries are encouraging more like them to do the same. Do not miss reading this one, folks.

And if I'm ever in Minneapolis, you can bet I won't be stopping by to visit the Minneapolis Public Library. Consider me firmly entrenched in the "Enemies" camp, if the "Friends" are embracing Mao.

SoulFire Gig

To check it out, visit Grace Student Ministry. It should be a terrific event; they're expecting a thousand in attendance.

Ji-li Jiang's book

Because I've been out of the cultural loop for ten years, I'm discovering all kinds of things I've missed. For example, I've read all the Harry Potter books this year and have found them to be quite entertaining. I still am not encouraging my kids to read them yet, nor do we watch the movies, because they're just not old enough or mature enough yet to handle wizardry and paganism. Not going there.

Anyway, there have been several books that have come down the pike that I've completely missed in my ten year hiatus from society. I just finished one of them today:

Red Scarf Girl by Ji-li Jiang

What an amazing story! Everyone who thinks Communist-chic is cute or fun or trendy, had better read this woman's simple account of her life during the Chinese cultural revolution in the 60s. This is what Che and Mao and Stalin were all about, folks. I'm thankful I haven't seen anyone here at my high school wearing a Che t-shirt, but I promise you that if I do, I will pull them aside and let them know just exactly what kind of monster they're celebrating. I am just as offended by them as I would be if someone came to school wearing a shirt emblazoned with Jeffrey Dahmer's picture. A mass-murderer is a mass-murderer.

I'm seriously considering assigning this book to my students to read.

Could this possibly be any more disgusting?

Don't answer that.

Mysterious chunks of flesh clog city water lines

April 26, 2005

Carroll city officials are perplexed over the discovery of mysterious chunks of flesh that have been clogging up city water lines.

A month ago, city officials sent a hunk of meaty-fatty tissue to the Iowa Department of Natural Resources for identification. As they wait for those results, three similar chunks of fleshy material were found on Thursday in another water main during routine flushing, Public Works Director Randy Krauel said.

A city worker discovered the blockage when a diffuser on a fire hydrant became clogged, Krauel said.

Additional flushing removed two other chunks from water mains, he said.

"Again, we're really not sure what it is," he said. "The pieces kind of looked like the first one. There was no hair and no real bone. There were varying degrees of the substance, whatever it is."

He speculated that the flesh likely belonged to an animal that crawled into a water main somewhere.

The new chunks also were sent to a state lab for identification.

Krauel said drinking water was not affected by the blockages and is safe to drink.

Chlorine levels have been temporarily increased as a precaution, he said.

I'm sure that the good people who work for the water department could tell me all kinds of stories of what they find in the water system. I don't want to know.

Chimpanzee nicotine addict

Zoo Wants Chimpanzee To Stop Smoking Cigarettes

BLOEMFONTEIN, South Africa -- A South African zoo wants a chimp to go cold turkey.

The chimpanzee smokes cigarettes. Keepers said Charlie picked up the habit by watching smoking visitors. People toss him the smokes and he puffs away.

A spokesman at the Bloemfontein Zoo said, "it looks funny to see a chimp smoking" -- but Charlie's trick could cost him his health.

The zoo is asking people to stop tossing cigarettes and contributing to the chimp's habit.

A zoo official said Charlie "acts like a naughty schoolboy" and hides his cigarettes when workers are around.

Send ol' Charlie to the Bronx Zoo so Nurse Bloomberg can slap handcuffs on him. Or better yet -- bring him over here and give him all the smokes he wants as long as he pays the hefty cigarette taxes.

The dumbest thing about this article is the poll/survey thingy, which reads:
Should the Bloemfontein Zoo staff in South Africa force Charlie the chimp to quit smoking?
[ ] No, it's his right.
[ ] Yes, it's unhealthy.

It's his RIGHT? Excuse me? Can the zookeepers just put a dumb security camera on Charlie's exhibit and prosecute the people who toss him a toke?

A few important links

I know I have no chance of convincing any Planned Parenthood apologists of the truth, but for those of you who don't know about the history and origins of Planned Parenthood, you might want to give these links a read:

The Truth About Margaret Sanger

The Negro Project: Margaret Sanger's Eugenic Plan For Black Americans

Whatever these guys may say about themselves, the truth is that their patron saint was a very wicked person whose motives were based in ethnic cleansing and the extermination of those she deemed inferior. This woman isn't denounced by them, but is instead upheld by them -- they even give out a "Margaret Sanger Award." They're clearly proud of her.

Their own web site states that they support the idea that every woman, regardless of age, has the right to abortion and birth control as well as the right to receive it privately. REGARDLESS OF AGE... meaning that their goal is to make birth control available to your daughter if she comes to them and wants it -- without telling YOU. They are aimed at usurping the role of these girls' parents. While it may or may not be true that girls will not answer questions, it's also none of PP's business to step between children and their parents.

Just my opinion, folks, for what it's worth. You're entitled to yours, too.

Harkin's barkin' again, as usual

Gotta love this guy, although why we keep sending him back to the U.S. Senate, I can't fathom.

Bush plan for benefits poses risk, Harkin says

Of course that's what he says. It's what he always says.

Cedar Rapids, Ia. - Sen. Tom Harkin told a group of about 100 people Saturday afternoon that Social Security faces no immediate crisis, but millions of future retirees and disabled citizens face drastic benefit cuts if the Bush administration moves forward with its plan to privatize the 70-year-old federal program.

"Social Security is in danger," the Iowa Democrat said during a 90-minute forum at the Grant Wood Area Education Agency in Cedar Rapids. "It's not in danger of running out of money. . . . It's in danger of us privatizing it."

Harkin argued that Social Security will pay out 100 percent of benefits until at least 2041. He said the cost of privatizing the system would reach $4.9 trillion during the first 20 years, which would undermine Social Security by increasing the federal budget deficit.

"I oppose the private accounts because I realize you can't carve something out and have the same amount left," said Betty Kelly, 77, of Iowa City. "There's no way that private accounts would do anything for anyone that's not 25 or less."

Oh, honey, of course it won't do anything for anyone over 25. As it is, SS won't do anything for anyone currently 25 or less anyway. But let's panic the senior-citizens, shall we? Private accounts aren't FOR you, Betty. Nobody's threatening to take away your monthly check.

Volunteer firefighter Ben Rogers, 25, of Mount Vernon said average investors could face staggering losses in the stock market and possibly only stagnant growth compared to guaranteed benefits adjusted to inflation with Social Security.

"The president keeps saying he wants to help young workers like myself," Rogers said. "Young people like myself will be the first generation that not only have to pay for our private accounts but for my grandparents' benefits."

Ben, you're already paying for your grandparents' benefits. Wake up, doofus. I just love the phrase "guaranteed benefits adjusted to inflation with Social Security", don't you? As if I should be delighted and pleased with the single bean on my plate that the government so graciously offers me in return for my years in the job force having FICA take exorbitant amounts of $$ out of my check. I'm sorry; I just have no patience with idiots who ought to know better.

Harkin said Bush's privatization plan would allow individuals to invest two-thirds of their Social Security contribution, but those returns could not make up the benefit cuts and "would be subject to the whims of Wall Street."

"There's no guarantee in the stock market. At least Social Security is a guarantee," said Leta Wall, 83, a retiree from Cedar Rapids.

Harkin also spoke Saturday at forums in Davenport and Mason City. He plans to cover all of Iowa's 99 counties with his "Fix It, Don't Nix It" forums on Social Security.

"At least Social Security is a guarantee," she says. Maybe for you, honey, but then, I'm guessing that's all that matters to you. The rest of us are having to clean up the unbelievable mess your generation of politicians has left us, and we're not liking what we see. It's when people say idiotic things like that, I just want to run screaming from the room.

"Fix It, Don't Nix It" is actually humorous to me. For one thing, there's no proposal on the table to "nix" it (can't quite get the image of a box of head-lice shampoo out of my mind whenever I see that word anywhere). Would that there was! I could only dream of really, truly nixing it for good. It is patently unfair to take my money and pay it out to someone else. They might be truly deserving, but isn't that a judgement call that's mine to make? At any rate, it's still wrong to take one person's earnings and redistribute them to others without my knowledge or consent. And that's what this is. Social Security is a scam. Always has been, always will be.

An interesting letter to the editor

I get news briefs e-mailed to me daily that alert me to items that might interest me. Otherwise I might've missed this letter to the editor of the Juneau Empire newspaper in Juneau, Alaska (the proposed site of a new Planned Parenthood clinic):

At the Health Fair on April 9 at Centennial Hall, I watched as a young 16-year-old girl approached the Planned Parenthood table. Later that day I contacted this young teenager to ask what kind of reception she received from PP. This is an example of what you can expect from PP.

She was given a condom; she was never asked her age. She was never asked whether the girls' parents were there, or whether they would approve. She was told where to get the abortifacient, RU 486 (morning-after pill), and she was asked to be sure and tell all her friends.

PP wants to start a so-called clinic in Juneau. What do you think PP will be trying to sell? This girl was never asked any questions about her general health, whether she was married, whether she had allergies, whether she was in good health. No questions, nothing. PP sells sex, promotes free and open sex. PP opposes parental notification. They oppose abstinence, but they promote and provide abortion without conscience or consequences. Is this what the parent of Juneau want for their children?

John P. Monagle

Auke Bay

This guy's got it exactly right. The true purpose of Planned Parenthood seems to be to sell the notion of inconsequential sexual activity to teenagers. What else could it be? Don't listen to what they tell you they do, look at what they actually say and do when they think they're not being documented. How can this agency possibly continue operating? Boggles the mind.

My favorite day of the week!

Yep, that would be Sunday. It is a long day, I do admit, but I spend it doing something that makes me happier than just about anything else I've ever done. This weekend Jeff was in Houston for his brother's wedding, so Tim filled in and was his usual awesome self. He did, however, break a guitar string during the very first song of the 10:30 AM service! He didn't have a backup guitar with him, so I jumped in to fill out the empty spots. It just so happens that this morning, the preschool choir had a little program planned. They performed it right after the first song and before the rest of the music set, which gave Tim just the right amount of time to go backstage and re-string.

I felt really good about all the stuff we played; it felt effortless today. SoulFire tonight also felt good -- we get to heat up the room a little more and be a little louder than on Sunday mornings. It cracks me up, actually, because compared to what I have experienced in the past, Sunday mornings are completely rock-the-house cool! I think that's why I don't feel one single bit "unfulfilled" when I play on Sunday mornings; it serves a vital purpose and people participate in worship like no other church I've ever been in before. But then I get to indulge my inner-headbanger a little more on Sunday nights.

Next Saturday we're meeting at the recording studio to begin putting the finishing touches on the very first SoulFire CD. Woot!

Prom night

Last night was PROM and I had a blast. The kids looked wonderful in all their fancy duds, and the music (while a bit loud) was very fun. The food was fabulous as well, which surprised me a little bit because it seems unusual for the food at big events to actually taste good. The shindig was held at the Younkers Tea Room in downtown Des Moines. It's the last time the prom will be held there, because it's closing. It's a beautiful room, done up in a style similar to the Versailles Hall of Mirrors. It was a little odd to be in that elegant setting and listening to Outkast blaring through the speakers, but I had a really good time. Rick was completely uninterested in attending the affair, so my "date" was Cindy. Besides, how often do people get the chance to get all spiffed up in party clothes and go dancing? We didn't do much dancing, obviously, but we had a great time watching the kids. The whole room got up to dance when the DJ played "YMCA," of course. I thought it was a little un-cool of the DJ to pick "You Shook Me All Night Long" as the parting song of the evening, however.

The thing I hate most about getting dressed up is the issue I have with foundation garments. I do not like hosiery, and last night it did not like me either because it kept trying to crawl back down and get away. I wouldn't have even bothered with it except that 1)it was freezing cold and 2)my skirt was knee-length. Thankfully I didn't do much dancing and remained seated near the dance floor for the majority of the evening.

The after-prom party would've been fun to attend, but I knew that Sunday morning was going to come really, really early, and we were already out way later than I like to be on Saturday nights. If I hadn't had any early-morning obligations, we probably would've gone to the other party for a while.

I didn't hear of any tragedies this morning, so hopefully everyone made it home safe and sound.

A note from Isaac

When I got home from playing with SoulFire this evening, Isaac met me at the door with a carefully-wrapped package. I opened it, and inside found a carefully-folded piece of paper. I opened it, and it read as follows:

Dear MoM You
are luvly and
cyot do You love
Me to
love ISAAC

My five-year-old son thinks I'm lovely and cute. Can life get any better?

Planned Parenthood, hard at work defending your children's right to abortion on demand

ACLU Idaho Affiliates File Lawsuit Challenging State Law Requiring Parental Consent for Minors Seeking Abortions

Planned Parenthood of Idaho and the American Civil Liberties Union of Idaho on Monday filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court challenging the constitutionality of a new Idaho law requiring parental consent for minors seeking abortion...

Yeah. Our old pals at PP are at it again, defending the rights of children to undergo major medical procedures without the knowledge or consent of their parents.

Here's the tiredest, oldest line of [expletive deleted] you'll ever see:

PPI Executive Director Rebecca Poedy said the new law is "dangerous" and could put teenagers at risk for homelessness and abuse by "disapproving parents," according to the AP/Spokesman-Review. She added that state legislators should focus more on preventing teen pregnancy.

Could there possibly be a REASON that the parents are "disapproving"... hmm? Maybe because their daughter is engaging in extramarital sex? Which is, by the way, illegal for minors? Or perhaps because their daughter is seeking to have their grandchild torn into pieces and sucked into a sink? Yeah, I'd be disapproving of that.

This is an issue I really, truly DO NOT GET. Take, for instance, the Elizabeth Smart case in Utah. Should her parents have just been told "Sorry, she's just gone." or "She was kidnapped and coerced by these two religious freaks, but you don't have the right to demand she be returned home"? Of course not! But that's what PP would have said if little Elizabeth had instead disappeared to an abortion clinic: "Sorry, you have no right to find out anything about your daughter. We just did a medical procedure on her without your consent because she chose not to tell you. She said she was afraid you'd disapprove." She is UNDER AGE... she isn't allowed to vote, isn't allowed to drink or smoke, can't get her ears pierced without parental consent, but she can receive prescription medication (birth control pills) or an abortion without letting Mom & Dad know? This is so totally and ridiculously wrong.

Can someone please explain to me why PP and the ACLU and NOW all seem to want abortions to happen as often as possible? They like the "safe" and "legal" part, but whenever we try to make it "rare" they pitch a fit...

Carnival of the Recipes

This weeks' Carnival is up over at Bebere.com. Yummyness all around, peeps!

Wait a minute... it's Saturday... and I'm posting?

I know. It's just not something I do -- post on a Saturday afternoon, that is. But here I am. SoulFire practice didn't pan out; we all showed up except the lead guitar, and we couldn't get hold of him so we have no idea what happened. His mom has been really sick, so we're guessing he was dealing with family concerns. Anyway, we took the opportunity just to chat for a while about different stuff, which was nice.

My outfit for tonight for the prom? Well, my color is brown. I'm not wearing a formal, per se, although it's a very classy ensemble in my opinion. It's a top and a skirt; the top is a stretchy lace with sparkles, and the skirt is a Michael Kors brown silk that I picked up for a steal on clearance. It's a little too dressy for most occasions that I might have. I'm going to have my face "done" at the department store where Cindy works, by one of the Origins girls. I'll do my hair myself, although I am not liking how it's behaving today already. I may re-wash it and start over.

I should probably take a quick nap, because I'm liable to be out late-ish tonight and tomorrow morning is going to come really early... but I'm too keyed-up. I wish I'd gotten myself a corsage or something, now that I think about it. Phooey. I'm looking forward to seeing the kids all spiffed-up tonight. I'm definitely bringing my camera. And I'll leave my usual chaperone-flashlight at home. It's Prom, for goodness' sake.

Why I love my best friend

My first class on "B" days is a planning period. I had to check with Cindy about something so I called her, and while we were chatting I noticed that my candy jar was empty. "Oh, crud," I said. "I meant to pick up some candy to put in the jar. Dangit."

"I can fix that," she said. She actually came up to school and brought me some goodies to put in my jar! Of course, there are myriad reasons why I love my best friend, but that just gives you an idea of how cool she is.

I keep candy in a jar in my cabinet for my students; my philosophy is that most people think better if they're not starving to death. I know I used to get horribly hungry during class and I was unable to concentrate OR do anything about it. I don't think an occasional Starlight Mint is going to cause the building to fall down around us, so I keep stuff like that around for my own classes.

Speaking of my students, I've got one who is very conscious of wanting to spell things correctly, so he's forever asking me to spell things. He's working on a science project about astronomy, and one of the questions had to do with naming some sports teams with astronomical nicknames (Houston Astros, etc.). He was doing internet searches for information and said, "Mrs. Wood, I promise I won't ask you how to spell ESPN. I think I can handle that one."

Why I love my job

I love my job.

I hate the paperwork and the certification and legal hoops that have to be jumped. But I love my job, because I love these kids. From the bottom of my heart, I love them, even the bad-attitude ones and the slackers and the liars (of which there aren't as many as you might think). And I like the people I work with. I can't speak for any of the other high schools in the city because I haven't been to any of them. But this school has some real class individuals on staff.

Can you tell I'm a little more rested than yesterday? Heh. That, and it's FRIDAY. Forget that it's pouring down rain outside. Tomorrow night is the senior prom and I'm going to dress up and wear some heels and makeup and be spiffy for a while. Woohoo! Life ain't bad.

Morning Glory muffins

YUM! These are wonderful.

2 c. flour
1 1/4 c. sugar
2 t. soda
2 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. salt
2 c. grated carrots
1/2 c. golden raisins
1/2 c. chopped pecans
1/2 c. fresh grated coconut
1 apple, peeled, cored and grated
3 eggs
1 c. vegetable oil
2 t. vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. In a large bowl combine flour, sugar, soda, cinnamon and salt. Stir in carrots, raisins, nuts, coconut and apple. In a small mixing bowl, beat eggs. Add oil and vanilla. Mix well. Stir into large mixture just until combined. Spoon batter into greased muffin tins. Bake 20 minutes. Makes 14 large muffins.

NOTE: If you soak the raisins for a little while in rum or Kahlua or something like that, they get even happier. When the muffins are still warm, spread them with butter that's been whipped with orange zest and just a little bit of orange juice concentrate.

Easy Cheese Blintzes

When I was in high school, my Government/Economics teacher was Mrs. Torment Norment. She was actually a very nice lady, albeit quite tough. I hope she doesn't surf the internet, because I'd hate to think I hurt her feelings by revealing her nickname. Anyway, I have a recipe book from my hometown of Paris, Texas, and this is one of her recipes.

2 egg yolks
1 c. sugar, divided
1 lb. cream cheese, softened
2 t. cinnamon
2 lb. loaf thin-sliced sandwich bread, crusts removed
1 1/2 sticks butter, melted

Cream egg yolks, 1/2 c. sugar, and cream cheese. Set aside. Mix cinnamon and remaining sugar. Set aside. With rolling pin, roll one slice of bread at a time until fairly flat. Spread small amount of cheese mixture over bread and roll it up, jelly-roll fashion. Continue in the same way with all the slices. Brush rolls lightly with pastry brush dipped in melted butter. Sprinkle rolls with sugar/cinnamon mixture. Place on waxed paper on a cookie sheet. Freeze. Take out of freezer 30 minutes before cooking. Thaw 15 minutes, cut each in half. Place on ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 minutes. Makes about 36 blintzes.

Definite "no"

The house today was nice enough, but definitely not what I was looking for. It was a four-level split... exactly what we do NOT need, with all those little staircases everywhere. Plus I just don't care for the splits as much because they just don't have as much open basement space. But it was helpful to walk through it, nonetheless.

Man, am I tired... I was supposed to go with SoulFire to listen to the recording and give my input as to what makes it onto the final final, but I'm just too darn tired.

Nice. Very nice.

So can I just say that I am not terribly enthusiastic about the fact that this school is where my daughter Martha is supposed to go next year? I was already having some misgivings about it.

[sigh]

I know that weed is extremely common among the high school students. I also know that many, many of the students here live in a different world than I do. Many of them have never known anything else, and there isn't much I can do about it.

But hopefully I can at least keep my own kids away from that scene for as long as possible.

I was in the eighth grade when I was offered weed for the first time. I had no interest whatsoever in it; I was an A student and heavily involved in church and band. But obviously it's not a new thing for junior-high-age kids to be exposed to illegal drugs.

Doesn't mean I have to accept it.

Can't. stay. awake.

I'm having a terrible time trying to stay awake today. It's one of those spring days where it's just pouring rain outside, and I'd like nothing better than to go back to BED. The caffeine isn't helping.

It's time to turn in fifth-term grades. One more term left and we're done. Wahoo!

I will take the time in the next couple of days to put together a few more audio clips of some of the original music of the guys at my church. Jeff played another new one for me last night at our small-group meeting, and Tim has also written several that I'd like to share. On a couple of the recordings you should be able to hear me playing the keys.

I'm looking at another house this afternoon, but I'm already thinking that this one won't be what we're looking for. Unless it has a couple of bedrooms on the main floor, it's definitely not going to work.

Okay, I've blathered on long enough. Back to computing grades.

Real estate stuff

I visited with a realtor in Norwalk today and she walked me through a new-construction home. I like it; it's a little small, and a little on the expensive side, but it's brand-new AND it has a full basement and a two-car garage. Our goal at this point is to find a "ranch" house, meaning one that has all its bedrooms on the main floor. I don't want Alice to have to climb any more stairs than is completely necessary; right now in our old house, the stairway to the kids' bedrooms is incredibly steep and the stairs very hard and creaky. In a new house it would be nice to finish out part of the basement as a bedroom for Martha so she could have her own private space... plus to have all that space to store stuff out of sight would be helpful! Of course, I'm hoping that, if we do move this summer, we won't take all this crap with us that we've managed to collect over the years.

Anyway, we're still in the talking phase. I liked the realtor we met with today; her brother-in-law and his wife were Alice's foster parents here in the US back when she was 20 months old. We keep in touch with them every so often; they are precious people and did a great deal of work with special-needs foster babies. Anyway, the realtor was also a very nice lady and I wouldn't mind working with her.

Okay, it's major late and I'm totally comatose. I still have a paper to turn in for my class, but I'm going to take my laptop to school tomorrow and hopefully finish it then. I so wish that school had a wi-fi setup.

No Child Left Behind... the approaching apocalypse

I'm not a member of the NEA. Just wanted to get that out there. I am a member of a teacher's union, per se, because it's stupid not to protect yourself these days (unions generally offer insurance protection against lawsuits). But it's not affiliated with the NEA in any way. It's the alternative union in Iowa, the PEI (Professional Educators of Iowa). I just couldn't stomach the notion of supporting the NEA in any way whatsoever, if I could help it.

Today, however, one of the union folks here on campus sent out a mass e-mail concerning what the NEA was doing. I checked it on the web and got this from CNN:

First national suit over education law

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The nation's largest teachers union and school districts in three states Wednesday launched a legal fight over No Child Left Behind, aiming to free schools from complying with any part of the education law not paid for by the federal government.

The lawsuit, filed in the U.S. District Court for eastern Michigan, is the most sweeping challenge to President Bush's signature education policy. The outcome would apply only to the districts involved but could have implications for all schools nationwide.

Leading the fight is the National Education Association, a union of 2.7 million members that represents many public educators and is financing the lawsuit. The other plaintiffs are nine school districts in Michigan, Texas and Vermont, plus 10 NEA chapters in those three states and Connecticut, Illinois, Indiana, New Hampshire, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Utah.

Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, as the chief officer of the agency that enforces the law, is the only defendant. The suit centers on a question that has overshadowed the law since Bush signed it in 2002: whether the president and Congress have provided enough money.

The challenge is built upon one paragraph in the law that says no state or school district can be forced to spend its money on expenses the federal government has not covered.

"What it means is just what it says -- that you don't have to do anything this law requires unless you receive federal funds to do it," said NEA general counsel Bob Chanin.

"We want the Department of Education to simply do what Congress told it to do. There's a promise in that law, it's unambiguous, and it's not being complied with."

The plaintiffs want a judge to order that states and schools don't have to spend their own money to pay for the law's expenses -- and order the Education Department not to try to yank federal money from a state or school that refuses to comply based on those grounds.

Spending on No Child Left Behind programs has increased 40 percent since Bush took office, from $17.4 billion to $24.4 billion, federal figures show.

Responding to the suit, White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said Bush has overseen "historic levels of funding" and a commitment to holding schools to high standards. States are making strong achievement gains under the law, and Spellings has made it clear she will help state leaders as long as they are making proven progress under the law, Perino said.

Yet the suit accuses the government of shortchanging schools by at least $27 billion, the difference between the amount Congress authorized and what it has spent. The shortfall is even larger, the suit says, if the figures include all promised funding for poor children.

The suit, citing a series of cost studies, outlines billions of dollars in expenses to meet the law's mandates. They include the costs of adding yearly testing, getting all children up to grade level in reading and math, and ensuring teachers are highly qualified.

To cover those costs, the suit says, states have shifted money away from such other priorities as foreign languages, art and smaller classes. The money gap has hurt schools' ability to meet progress goals, which in turn has damaged their reputations, the suit says.

Plaintiffs include the Pontiac School District in Michigan, the Laredo Independent School District in Laredo, Texas; the Rutland Northeast Supervisory Union in Brandon, Vermont; and six of the school districts that are part of Rutland Northeast in south central Vermont.

The NEA promised to bring the suit almost two years ago and began recruiting states to be plaintiffs. But the union found no takers -- in part because states had no firm cost estimates, and in part because states were wary of the political fallout of suing the federal government.

More than a dozen states, however, are considering anti-No Child Left Behind legislation this year. On Tuesday, the Utah Legislature passed a measure giving state education standards priority over federal ones imposed by No Child Left Behind.

The school districts involved in the lawsuit give the NEA the diversity it wanted, from rural Vermont students to limited-English learners in Laredo to poor students in Pontiac. In the suit, Spellings is accused of violating both the education law and the spending clause of the U.S. Constitution.

The NEA and the Bush administration have had a testy relationship.

When the union first promised the lawsuit, then-Education Secretary Rod Paige accused the NEA of putting together a "coalition of the whining." He later referred to the NEA as a "terrorist organization" for the way it opposed the law, a comment for which he later apologized.

All this crap is what you get when:
a) the federal government gets involved in stuff they have no business being in, and people with governmental power start losing sight of their purpose in favor of feel-good stuff that buys votes
b) you start claiming free public education is a basic human right -- it isn't

I don't object to NCLB because it's an unfunded mandate. I object to NCLB because it's none of the Fed's bidness what state and local governments choose to do about education. Sure, it's most assuredly an unfunded mandate, which I think is one of the main things that will nullify and emasculate the whole law. Which, in turn, is why I don't raise too much of a stink over it, because I know it's dead in the water eventually. It's simply the case of the behemoth growing so large it can't support its own weight and eventually suffocating.

My hope is that eventually the weight of the notion that every child MUST be educated at public expense will cause the whole critter to implode. "No Child Left Behind" is a ridiculous proposition. So is "Least Restrictive Environment", one of the main phrases bandied around in special education. When you obligate the government to educate EVERY SINGLE CHILD REGARDLESS OF ABILITY OR DESIRE, you're setting yourself up for a major fall. Tax-funded public education entitlement is unheard-of in most of the world. People who can afford to pay for their kids to go to school, do so. Kids who want to learn, do. Those who don't or can't, find other avenues of support. We're warehousing all our lawn-care professionals and babysitters and maids inside our high schools, purporting to educate them when they don't want it. Make education truly valuable again, and people will once again become motivated to seek it out. It's free, it's an entitlement, therefore it is of no value to the recipients.

Just my opinion.

Parting words

Isaac always has to have the last word when we're done praying at bedtime. Tonight I headed down the stairs and heard him yell, "Wait!"

"Yes?" I asked, peeking my head back into his room.

"Do you know what fifteen plus fifteen is?" he asked.

"It's thirty," I replied.

"That's what I was thinking, too," he said.

Student artwork

This pastel work was done by a student at my high school. She is incredibly gifted... and as is occasionally the case with extremely gifted people, she also suffers from mental illness. I want to showcase her work whenever I can, to "speak up" for kids in special education who are special in many, many ways.

 

A daily source of irritation...

This bulletin board has been up all year, and it bothers me greatly. I try not to look at it when I have to walk past. This particular corner is rarely seen by most teachers, so no-one but me has probably even noticed the atrocious grammar. Which teacher allowed this to be posted? No clue. But when I find out, they're getting a friendly jab from ME. 

Meme Tag

Jody of Steal the Bandwagon has tagged me to participate in this little meme.

Immediately following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.
For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the worlde." See how easy that is? Here's the list:

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...

Thanks a lot, Jody. heh

Let's see. Hmmmmm...

If I could be an astronaut, I'd join the crew of the Red Dwarf and visit odd galaxies in every corner of the universe, and I'd make Dave Lister take a shower and wash the curry stains off his shirt.

If I could be a bonnie pirate, I'd join the crew of Captain Jack Sparrow and [deleted by editor] while pillaging and then burning. I'd also pose for a painting with a dagger in my teeth.

If I could be a painter, I'd paint portraits of bonnie pirates with daggers in their teeth. Then I'd buy old grand pianos, rip out the guts, paint the frame wild and crazy colors and designs, and replace the old hammers and keys with electronic equipment.

If I could be a musician, I'd play wild and crazy painted electronic grand pianos in the atrium of a fancy-schmancy department store in Hong Kong. I'd write a song about a handsome pirate, and another song about violets.

If I could be a gardener, I'd allow wild violets to overtake my lawn and harvest the blossoms for edible flower salads. I'd cultivate Phalenopsis orchids and live in a spare, minimalist home stripped of clutter in order to reduce my distractibility.

Okay, I'm going to pass this meme along to:

Nathan

Blue Fish & Red Fish

David

You're it!

UPDATE:David's taken the baton and run with it.
UPDATE II:Now Blue Fish took the bait.
UPDATE III:Nathan finally remembered. I'm giving him a pass because he's just moved to Hawaii and doesn't care about blogging as much as he once did.

Audio clip

I'm going to attempt to give you guys a link to click on to hear an audio clip of Jeff singing "Count Your Blessings."

Count Your Blessings, copyright 2005 Jeff Arrandale

I checked with Jeff about it, and he said he'd love for me to put the clip on my blog, but that I needed to let you all know that this is not a professional recording, it was just done through our church's sound system. It's just Jeff and his Taylor guitar.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

I was totally, completely excited about this morning's worship service because we were going to introduce Jeff's new song "Count Your Blessings" as well as the last new one, "Race." I was so pumped about it that I didn't even hit the snooze button when the alarm rang at five. I arrived a little before 6:30 AM and went into the building. It's always nice to get there so early because I feel much more prepared, like my wits are collected a little more neatly than if I'm in a hurry because I'm late.

The songs sounded simply wonderful. I can't believe God lets me play with those guys. It's mornings like these that make me feel really, really happy -- and really, really small... a puny, shriveled soul totally undeserving of such joy. I'm nothing more than an insignificant bug, and yet God loves me enough to let me praise Him with some incredibly cool people who love Him.. to let me serve Him in a church like FCC. No praise I could offer up to Him could equal His graciousness toward me.

Tim gave me a couple of CDs this morning at church... I looked at them and immediately realized that this was the rough mix of SoulFire's concert! I couldn't wait to listen to it, but I wasn't going to have a good chance to listen all the way through uninterrupted until tonight. So now I'm sitting here at my laptop with my headphones on, basking in the memory of that night. It was so much fun!

We've got another concert scheduled for the first week of June. It can't come soon enough for me! Tonight we played our usual gig for the youth service; I filled in vocals for Amy, who was out this week. This summer/fall, she's going to be on an extended missions trip to Brazil, so I'll be filling in the backup vocals for her then as well. She has a lovely, mellow voice that I can't really touch. Mine's a bit thin and tinny by comparison. It went okay, though, I think. I'm having trouble lately hearing myself, and my pitch is off in my upper register. I may need to go to an audiologist or something and get checked to see if I've lost any more of my already-diminished hearing. I wonder if maybe there's some way I can rig up some headphones to wear while I'm playing at church that could amplify the sound for me... I'm going to ponder that one. I don't know that it would help my singing much unless they could somehow route my vocal feed into my headphones so I could hear myself really well. Sounds too complicated; I think I'll just let the other vocalists (and there are plenty of talented ones) sing and maybe I'll just concentrate on my playing. At least I know the keyboard is on pitch!

Oh... and guess what? We've set up a second keyboard for me to use. I'm feeling a little more like my hero Paul Schaffer now. Jeff is planning to set me up with one of those cool dual-deck keyboard stands, too -- another one of my secret wishes fulfilled. I've always wanted to have two so I could set one up with an organ/synth sound and the other with a nice grand. It's pretty much impossible to switch back and forth on a single keyboard during one song, but if I've got two, I can have both kinds of sounds in the same song. And having them stacked on a dual stand just feels so, well, rock-starrish, don't you think?

Speaking of rock stars, U2 is coming to Omaha (2 hours west of Des Moines) this fall. I can hardly contain my happy dancing!!! I heart U2.

Sundays are always the high point of my week. It's nice to feel that way; I'm not sure I've ever felt that way about Sundays because I've always felt so obligated and dutiful about it. This is so much better than I ever thought church could be.

Time waster

As if I needed something ELSE to waste my time, Brett Rogers of Beat Canvas has written a little word game that you should go try:

Master Word

First my husband, now Brett. Would you men please go away and leave me alone? I'd like to get something useful accomplished.

Husbands are disgusting

Rick just interrupted my concentration on getting my assignment done; he came into the kitchen and said, "You want to see something cute?"

I should've known then to say "No," but he tends to be a straightforward and sincere guy, so I went along with it.

Bad idea. He's watching "Big Daddy" with Adam Sandler. He hits "play" on the DVR and it's the little boy sitting on a park bench, harking up a loogie and spitting it part-way out until it touches the ground, then sucking it back in.

I do not find this to be one bit redeeming. He is cackling uncontrollably, however. I'm guessing it's a guy thing, because I just find that revolting... I'm not the typical prudish chick, either. I can belch and fart with the best of 'em. But that little loogie trick is just nasty, and Rick can't stop laughing long enough to breathe. Doofus.

FYI

I just feel the need to mention that the University of Phoenix' Tech Support is absolutely the BEST I have ever dealt with. I'm enrolled in their Online Campus and I'm working on my Master's in Special Education. Tonight I was having a little difficulty downloading part of my class textbook (some of the textbooks are even online rather than having to order them), and I called tech support. As has always been the case, the technician was completely helpful, professional and friendly. This one was a lady named Aleah, but I've dealt with others and they have all been just as helpful and friendly.

Yes, getting an education through the University of Phoenix is a little pricey and is certainly not one single bit easy. But it's already proving to be worth it. I haven't been unhappy with the program once yet.

Wounded Knee

After a fall from his bicycle and a nasty Wounded Knee (with requisite shrieks and howls of pain and agony), Isaac can't even stay awake long enough to take off his bicycle helmet. 

Napoleon's Liger?

Okay, so it's not a magical cross between a tiger and a lion, but apparently there are critters called wholphins. Who knew?

Can this family's saga get any sicker?

If I hear of anyone else in the Iowa legislature bringing up this family as a reason to clamp down more laws on homeschooling, I'm going to scream. And then I may just make some phone calls to a few legislators (which is something I never do because I hate talking on the telephone).

Happy Birthday

to my very bestest friend Cindy today!

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. --Ecclesiastes 4:12

I got yer back 'n stuff, girlfriend. Nobody gets past me, my nunchuks, my Bo staff, my varmint gun and my shovel.

Nashville-bound...

...someday soon, I hope. I went to my small-group meeting last night and had brought my digital recorder because I wanted to get a recording of the new song Jeff wrote. The recorder fritzed out on me (dangit) but he played the song through anyway. People, it is wonderful. I sat listening to it in amazement at just how beautiful it was. When he finished, I said, "Jeff, we need to take that to Nashville." I meant it. I absolutely love it. Have I ever mentioned how cool it is to be in the presence of major undiscovered musical talent? I am so not worthy.

I'd like to be Nashville-bound today... Nashville is just one of the coolest cities I've ever been in. I never thought I'd like it, but I do. Not sure I could live in Tennessee, but I guess if that's where God put me, it's where I'd live, right? I'd like to go have coffee at Bongo Java again, or a hamburger at 12th & Porter. Not to mention collards & cornbread at Swett's or a chocolate malt at Elliston Place Soda Shop (and a visit next door to Rock Block Guitar Shoppe and a little further down at Smack! clothing store).

Mommyblogging

This is a banner my son made for me. It's nice to know someone thinks this highly of me.

Uhh... yeah... [snicker snicker]

U.N. OKs Treaty To Prevent Nuclear Terrorism

[holding my sides]

[laughing uncontrollably]

NEW YORK -- The U.N. General Assembly has approved a global treaty aimed at preventing nuclear terrorism.

The resolution approved Wednesday calls on all countries to sign and ratify the "International Convention for the Suppression of Acts of Nuclear Terrorism." It won't come into force until 22 countries ratify it.

The treaty caps a seven-year campaign led by Russia and would make it a crime for would-be terrorists to possess or threaten to use nuclear material. It also calls for greater intelligence-sharing between countries.

Negotiating the treaty hasn't been easy. There have been problems defining terms such as "radioactive material" and "device" -- and deciding who should be exempt from criminal prosecution.

[gasp]Stop it! You're killing me! I can't stand it!

You reporters can't just write this stuff and inflict it on us folks with bladder-control issues without prior warning.

More hand-wringing over homeschoolers

One Simple Form Removed Winterset Girl From School

Representative Suggests Review Of Home-School Laws

DES MOINES, Iowa -- A Winterset man facing child endangerment charges for allegedly keeping his 10-year-old daughter locked in a room was able to remove her from school by filling out a simple two-page form.

Jon Neely took his daughter out of school in November, telling school officials she was going to be home-schooled. A certified teacher was assigned to the girl under the home assistance program. When Neely began canceling meetings, the teacher alerted authorities.

Police found the underweight girl in February in an empty room.

Rep. Mary Mascher, a Democrat from Iowa City, said she would like to review Iowa's home-school laws.

Neely is free on $26,000 bond pending trial July 12.

A spokesman for a national group representing about home-schooled families said the Neely case is an isolated incident.

Hello!?! Why do we need to re-think our homeschool laws when it appears obvious that the law actually WORKED in this case? Looks to me like a four-month stretch of time isn't actually that long, and that a quick-thinking teacher acted promptly on her suspicions and the proper authorities got involved.

There is a significant portion of the policy-making crowd (generally Democrat nanny-staters like Ms. Mascher) that wants to do away with homeschooling altogether, and this kind of stuff just thrills their souls to no end. Nevermind how successful the movement and its results have been... government just ought to have oversight into education, and that's all there is to it. Parents just aren't qualified to make educational decisions for their children.

I don't buy that.

Obviously there are freaks like Neely and the Dyess family, but can we please label them as ABUSERS and quit trying to tag homeschooling? My word, there are probably a gazillion unreported cases of abuse just in this high school alone, but nobody makes a stink about how all these kids are public-schooled, obviously that's a big part of the problem. Pulleeeze.

Heaven preserve me...

...from having to sit through yet another MEETING. My loyal readership will know by now how much I despise -- nay, loathe -- meetings. Do people not know how to write an e-mail? Or read one? The overwhelming majority of meetings could be distilled into a brief and informative e-mail, thus saving a great deal of aggravation on the part of those of us who do not wish to be bothered with extraneous information. I do NOT want to be forced to sit and listen to someone whine about hall duty. Besides, half the time the PA system isn't working well or the person talking doesn't know how to use a stinkin' microphone, so I can't hear a bloomin' thing.

That being said, I have another stupid meeting to go to this afternoon. I have to rearrange my entire life just to go to this particular meeting once a month, and they're meant for first-year teachers. I am not a first-year teacher. I qualify as this because I came in from another state AND because it's been ten years since I last taught. But the things that really would've been helpful (tutorials on the software, etc) weren't part of this. No, this is stuff like how to keep discipline in your class, how to get along with other teachers, blahblahblah. Gag me. Poke me in the eyeballs with sharp sticks. Or dull sticks. It'd be better than this.

And the answers are...

1. I own a pair of $400 Prada heels.

This is true. I got them for a steal from someone who'd worn them a couple of times.

2. I have slept with a white teddy-bear named Sherman for the past twenty years.

Yep.

3. I can play Debussy's "Clair de Lune" on the piano from memory.

It's so darn fun to play... so dramatic and romantic.

4. I love tuna sashimi (raw).

Yep. I like sushi, but the rice just gets in the way of that yummy sashimi. I especially like it with wasabi and a little soy sauce. Sorry Red Fish, I'm willing to take the chance once in a while with that stuff.

5. I have a tattoo in the shape of a tiny horse. Not saying where.

Nope. No tattoos. Wrong-Oh! I don't have anything against tats, mind you. I just don't happen to have one.

6. I have no bellybutton.

Believe it or not, Brett, this one's true. I had a great deal of excess skin removed from my abdomen after I lost a great deal of weight, and the bellybutton was lost in the procedure. I opted not to have the surgeon give me a new one... what's the point?

7. I currently have Will Smith's new CD in my stereo.

Lost And Found. That "Switch" song is just fun, people. I have broad musical tastes, okay?

8. I sang "Hey Jude" to my son to get him to sleep when he was a baby.

Yep. I listened to the Beatles while still in the womb, so I think I probably came out knowing all their songs. "Hey Jude" has always been one of my faves.

9. I love weird socks; in the third grade I owned a pair of knee-high socks with King Kong on them.

True. I have lots of unusual socks. And those King Kong ones? They were the bomb. That was the year that the movie came out (1976, with Jessica Lange) and I thought it was just too cool. I wish I still had them. If you click on the link to the movie, you can see exactly the picture that was on my socks. They were awesome, I tell you.

10. I played the oboe in high school.

True. One thing about the oboe... when it's played well, it's an exotic and lovely sounding instrument. When it's not played well, it's hideous. There is no middle ground with oboes.

=========

It's been raining buckets here since right after school got out, and I've been hard at work finishing up my project. I haven't been answering my phone (sorry Mom! I know you called... I'll call you tomorrow, I promise) because I'm trying to get this done. I wouldn't have taken the time to blog, but I DID say in the last post that I would be back on Monday, and I figured I'd better keep my promises.

Hey, before I go -- I looked out my kitchen window when I got home from school this afternoon and noticed that the neighbors' tulips are blooming. Made me all happy inside, I tell you.

Ten Things

I stole this idea from SarahK because I thought it was a lot of fun. Okay, here goes: Within the following list of ten things about me, one of them is NOT TRUE. Leave a comment to guess which one.

1. I own a pair of $400 Prada heels.
2. I have slept with a white teddy-bear named Sherman for the past twenty years.
3. I can play Debussy's "Clair de Lune" on the piano from memory.
4. I love tuna sashimi (raw).
5. I have a tattoo in the shape of a tiny horse. Not saying where.
6. I have no bellybutton.
7. I currently have Will Smith's new CD in my stereo.
8. I sang "Hey Jude" to my son to get him to sleep when he was a baby.
9. I love weird socks; in the third grade I owned a pair of knee-high socks with King Kong on them.
10. I played the oboe in high school.

I'm wrapping up my major project, so I probably won't be back to give you the answer until Monday. Have fun, dear ones!

Sticks & stones

My son just burst through the front door, wielding a stick. Not an unusual thing for a little boy, of course; I assumed he was pretending it was a sword or a lightsaber or some other cool weaponry indicative of testosterone. But no.

"Mom, where are the scissors and the glue?" Ever the little artist.

FRIDAY!!!

Hooray, it is FRIDAY. Not only that, but the school day is already half over. Standardized tests are DONE. The weather is GORGEOUS.

This morning, waking up was rather cruel. You see, I was lying there, awake, feeling very peaceful and pleasant, waiting for my alarm to ring. Suddenly it DID ring, and I woke up with a jolt. I realized that I had been dreaming of feeling peaceful and awake. Really I was sound asleep and rather groggy. There should be a law against that kind of dream. It's so deceitful.

Standardized Tests

...are the most boring way to spend your day as a teacher. I kid you not -- I brought a 280-page paperback (schlocky and inane stuff, yes, but I didn't have the mental energy to devote to anything more substantive) to read and I finished it... start to finish... by 10:30. How pathetic is that?

I'm going to complain now.

The group of eleventh-graders I administered the Iowa Test of Basic Skills to are all special-education students. They have all been tested to have significant learning disabilities. But because of No Child Left Behind (NCLB), we now have to give them the test that's on their GRADE LEVEL, not on their READING LEVEL. There are some kids in there who simply cannot read past about a sixth grade level, and they're having to try to wade through this complex junior-level exam. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. The mathematics story problems were difficult for ME to wade through, much less these poor souls.

Thanks to NCLB, we simply MUST get EVERYONE reading on grade level, regardless of their disabilities. Can I get a witness up in here? It's NOT POSSIBLE.

In my college class, several of us are complaining bitterly about NCLB and the consequences that are inevitable. I mentioned, however, that I'm truly not concerned anymore. The way I see it, THEY NEED SPECIAL ED TEACHERS. My job security is pretty good, I'd imagine, because (1)I do a good job with the kids that most people don't want to deal with and (2)who's going to take my place? Let them fire me because these kids aren't reading on grade level. Anyone else care to step in and give it a try? I can always find a job somewhere else, because I'm a bright person. In a couple of years I'll actually have a master's degree in special education. I'm sure I'm marketable somewhere.

No, my job is much more immediate than that. I have students RIGHT NOW who will be graduating and going into society. I need to make sure that they have the tools they need to be good, productive citizens using the resources God gave them (in whatever quantity that might be). I don't have time to be bothered with political tomfoolery. Legislation comes and goes; NCLB will die the death eventually when politicians begin to realize that it's unworkable and VIABLE VOTING CONSTITUENTS such as parents, teachers, administrators are dissatisfied. In the meantime until NCLB goes away, I will quietly continue to teach regardless of Congressional whims and flights of fancy.

Time for a little dogblogging...

Okay, some REALLY LITTLE DOGblogging. All the catbloggers all over the 'net are making me feel left out, so I thought I'd let you see my little ("little" being the operative word here) friend, Bijou. Yes, she is a dog. She is a tiny-toy poodle, about one and a half years old, and is the sweetest little thing you could ever meet. Not a mean bone in her body.







Yes, Martha (my ten year old) actually agreed to be photographed for the blog.

Anyway, spare me the "That Ain't No Dog" jokes, or the "Curly-Coated Rat" jokes, or whatever other ones you may be thinking. Bijou's the perfect dog for our family, and here's why:

>our house is very small
>she is friendly and loves to sit in your lap
>she eats the junk under the kitchen table
>she sleeps in a carrier the size of a breadbox
>she barks whenever we need to know something important
>she plays well with the kids and lets them lug her around

So whatever your opinion of teeny-tiny dogs may be, keep it to yourself. We love Bijou around here (yes, it's a French name, but it's also Haitian, and it means "jewelry" which I thought was appropriate for something as small as she is).

My lil' artist

Brett over at Beat Canvas posts lots of his own art, but the other day he posted some of his son's art. It was very cute, and it inspired me as well. So when I was watching my own son Isaac being creative the other day, I snapped a pic of it. He says it's a pirate ship.

And another...

Threatening Note Found At Indianola School

No Child Left Behind

The Basketball Version

This e-mail just came through here at school and has me chuckling. I'd be laughing louder except that it's painfully and unfortunately accurate. NCLB is the stooopidest... well, don't get me started. Instead, enjoy:

All teams must advance to the Sweet 16, and all will win the championship.

If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.

All kids will be expected to have the same basketball skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in basketball, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY BASKETBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.

Talented players will be asked to practice on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in basketball, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like basketball.

Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in 4th, 8th and 11th games.

This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.

Yeah, he's French, but it's still cool...

Alexis Lemaire has done it again. Back in December he set the new world record at mentally calculating the 13th root of a 100-digit number. It took him less than four seconds to do it.

You heard me right. Less than four seconds. It would take me longer than that just to read the 100-digit number.

Now he's gone even further: Root cause: French maths student sets world record

PARIS (AFP) - A 24-year-old French student claimed a world record after he became the first person to figure out the 13th root of a 200-digit number by mental arithmetic alone.

Alexis Lemaire, who is studying for a master's degree in computer studies at the University of Reims, eastern France, took 48 minutes and 51 seconds to arrive at the 16-figure answer.

The competition was overseen by a mathematician and a public bailiff to ensure that the answer was right and Lemaire had only used his own brainpower to get there. Use of a computer, calculator and even a pencil and paper were not allowed.

In December, Lemaire set a world speed record of 3.625 seconds for finding the 13th root of a 100-digit number. The previous record of 11.8 seconds had been held by a 38-year-old German, Gert Mittring.

The 100-digit record used to feature in the Guinness Book of Records, but was axed in 2002.

Lemaire described the 200-digit task as "the most difficult challenge in mental arithmetic in history," as there were a potential 400,000 billion permutations in the answer.

He said his calculation method would be published next month in the French magazine Sciences et Avenir (Science and Future), which hosted the event.

The 13th root is a number that must be multiplied by itself 13 times in order to equal a given value.

So he's French. I guess they're allowed one or two really cool people who can do extraordinary stuff.

As I was saying...

Yesterday I posted about yet another MSM slam on home schoolers. One of the cases-in-point mentioned in KCCI's hit piece was the recent case of a teenage girl in Griswold, IA who burned down her house, killing her siblings. The reporter felt it necessary to call this a home school family; I simply referred to it as a case of weird, sick abuse.

And I was right. There's waaaaay more going on here, and these people are just mental reprobates. Check out this from today's Register:

Mother of teen charged in Griswold fire admits she's a bigamist

Debbie Street, mother of a teen charged with setting a fatal fire in Griswold, admitted Tuesday that she is a bigamist.

Debbie Street said that at the time of her marriage to Brian Street, who is charged with abusing her 17-year-old daughter jailed in the fire, she already was married to Steve Grothe. Street said she is still married to Grothe, whom she married in Nebraska in July 2000.

Street, 37, said she married Brian Street on April 17, 2003, in Arizona.

"I got married because I had to," she said. Street declined to expand on her reasons.

Under Iowa law, bigamy is a serious misdemeanor, punishable by a fine of $250 to $1,500 and up to one year in prison.

Cass County Attorney Dan Feistner said no charges have been filed against Debbie Street.

"We're aware of it, and it's under investigation," he said. "No decision has been made."

Tracey Dyess, 17, is being held on first-degree murder charges for the fire that killed her sister, Jessica Dyess, 13, and Kaleb Dyess, 6.

Dyess is scheduled for a court appearance on May 5. Her attorney, public defender Greg Steensland of Council Bluffs, said he is going to file a motion to have Dyess tried as a juvenile.

If Dyess is convicted as an adult, Steensland said she would receive a life prison sentence without parole. If she is convicted as a juvenile, he said she could be released within four years. Dyess is being held at the Southwest Iowa Juvenile Detention Center in Council Bluffs.

Brian Street is being held at the Cass County Jail on 10 counts of third-degree sexual abuse, in an investigation that began after the fire. He initially was taken into custody on theft warrants from three Iowa counties.

Family relationships in the case are complex, and have a distant link to another western Iowa abuse and murder case.

Debbie Street's mother, Diane, is married to Brian Street's father. Brian Street's father also was once married to Dixie Shanahan Duty's mother.

Dixie Duty was convicted of second-degree murder by a Shelby County jury in 2004 for the shotgun slaying of her abusive husband, Scott Shanahan. Duty, who was remarried as she awaited trial, left her husband's body in a bedroom of their Defiance home for more than a year after she killed him in August 2002.

Diane Street said her husband and Dixie Duty's mother were married for 15 years, but Dixie and Brian did not grow up together.

"They're not related," Diane Street said of Duty and her stepson, who also is her son-in-law. "They weren't raised together."

Steensland, Dyess' attorney, also represented Duty.

In addition, Diane Street said Tuesday that Kaleb Dyess, the dead 6-year-old, is the biological son of Debbie Street's adopted daughter, Tina Bombar. Diane Street said Debbie considered Kaleb her son.

Debbie and Diane Street spent most of Tuesday waiting for authorities to release the bodies of the two children. They were sent to Des Moines for autopsies.

Diane Street said a memorial service is tentatively scheduled for Friday in Griswold with a funeral Monday in Hastings, Neb., but arrangements still were being made.

Sounds to me like Tracey did the only thing she knew to do to save her siblings from her own fate.

And we're not even in Arkansas. What a twisted, demented tale. Home schoolers, my eye. All together, now: "I'm My Own Grandpa..."

As an aside, have you thought about the fact that every home is a school of some sort? Kids are all learning from their surroundings, from the people who are in charge of them, whether you know it or not. I am in NO WAY justifying Jessica's actions. I'm just saying that maybe a few more indictments are in order here. She may be a perp, but she's also a victim of a few more perps that need to be removed from polite society.

Abusers need to be punished. Severely.

Legitimate home schoolers shouldn't have to then bear the burden of increased and unnecessary state scrutiny simply because a couple of backwoods freaks finally had their sick behaviors brought to light. String up the criminals. Don't hamstring the law-abiders.